Eternal: Chapter Eight, Part 5

It turns out, about a week.

Until the day the commercial aired, to be exact. I was told it was a wonderful success, and the party Caroline had thrown for everyone was grand fun. But I didn’t know because I wasn’t there.

While dressing for the party, I wanted to check my appearance in a mirror. I hadn’t thought about mirrors in a while. It seemed strange, that day, I hadn’t looked in a mirror for so long. But then, I hadn’t had a reason to do so. I hadn’t worn makeup since before my turning and I didn’t usually do much with my hair. But I was nervous, and I wanted to ensure I looked okay.

Nick had left an hour earlier because he had promised to help with set up for the party; I would have left with him but I was specifically told I wasn’t to arrive until the party started, and it would be even better if I was fashionably late. Remembering the vanity Drei had bought when we first moved here—that I hardly used—I went into Nick’s room. Sure enough, it was in the corner with a few cologne bottles, hair gel, and some other grooming things of his lined up in front of the mirror.

I could already see the dress in the mirror and knew it looked nice, but that wasn’t my concern. I wanted to know if it looked nice on me. So backing up, I looked again, and the dress was still there…but I wasn’t. I thought it was that I was too far away and my vision was going bad. But when I neared the mirror to just look at my face, it wasn’t there. My earrings were, but not my face.

Immediately falling into denial, I left the room, searching the kitchen for a pot, a bowl, a ladle, anything that was reflective. I pulled open the cabinets, grabbing everything that might have worked, and when I had gone through all of those, I went through the drawers, snatching up cutting knives and teaspoons, even forks. And in all of them, I wasn’t there. It was like I didn’t exist.

I swiped everything off the counter onto the floor, threw the mixing bowls in different directions—the sound of something smashing reached me though I didn’t care enough to know what; I slammed the drawers and cabinet doors, oblivious that they just swung back open with the force. My hands reached into the open cabinets, taking up plates and glasses. I didn’t care what happened to that damned kitchen with all of its reflective dishes and silverware that couldn’t find me; it didn’t matter if I broke a plate here or a glass there. It didn’t bother me I had cut my hand with a knife when I grabbed the wrong end, or that I was crying so hard everything was a blur. None of it mattered.

I didn’t matter.

I wasn’t alive, and that meant I didn’t have a reflection; I wasn’t able to prove to myself I still existed. For all I knew I really was a ghost. I had died back in that hospital room and was so in denial that everyone just told me I was somehow still walking upright and solid.

Stumbling from the kitchen, I couldn’t stop crying. I was crying so hard I felt sick and like I was suffocating. But I couldn’t stop; it wouldn’t stop hurting. I didn’t even know what was hurting. My knees went weak and I collapsed on the carpet.

Eternal: Chapter Eight, Part 4

Later that week, Drei had arranged for us to meet with the Council. The vampire—the one even more stoic than Drei—drove us there. This time, he permitted us roll down the windows so I wasn’t starved when we arrived. About an hour after we left, the air changed from fresh to stale. The window wasn’t down far enough for me to see why, but I figured it partially explained why the area around the house had seemed archaic.

We were told to wait in the same dusty room while the Council assembled. This time, however, instead of their courtroom equivalent, we were brought into a more office-like space. There was one large desk, at which the head of the Council was seated. Then there was a table to either side with a total of seven chairs. Tudor, the vampire who had sat under the presiding head, sat immediately to the right of the desk on the table of four. Strangely enough, they all appeared to be dressed casually and each had a mug of warm blood on the table before them.

“You may deliver the update, Mr. Valmoritim,” Tudor announced in a lighter voice than he had used the last time we’d met.

I handed Drei the papers and he passed them to Tudor, who offered them to the head vampire. He leafed through them as Drei returned to my side. We waited for him to stop, because I knew he would. The commercials were cryptic. Just because the site, currently, was set up to reveal the nature of elementals didn’t mean it couldn’t be altered to reveal the existence of other hiding groups. We knew he would recognize this, and that’s when I had to talk them into patience.

“Tudor, what is your opinion of these?” There was the edge to his voice; the tell-tale sign he was displeased. Until they brought it up, I had decided to play dumb—and resist admitting how much I loathed these games.

“I believe these are too general,” Tudor stated, his brow furrowed, wrinkling his crown even more than it already was. “Do you realize, Miss Jones, these could lead to the discovery of every hiding organization?”

“I realize it may seem that way,” I replied, meeting his gaze, despite how difficult it was to look into those black orbs. “But let me assure you, they will all remain hidden.”

“For how long?” Tudor asked calmly, the edge in his voice as well.

“So long as they choose. This has nothing to do with them;” I folded my hands in front of me. “I can swear to you that this is a movement centering around the civil rights of elementals and exposing the corruption of the current government. What do vampires and other such groups have to do with that?”

There was a lot of nodding and murmuring along the table before Tudor spoke again. “You are responsible for informing the other organizations of this. We will not interfere with the current goings-on.”

“Thank you,” I said, bowing my head to them. That was easier than I had expected.

“Miss Jones,” the presiding vampire called, staring intently at me. I met his gaze. Maybe I had spoken too soon. “Should we feel endangered by your movement, we will end it.”

“I understand.”

“Dismissed,” Tudor granted.

In the hallway, Drei hugged me, kissing the top of my head.

“You amaze me,” he whispered, holding me a second longer before letting go.

I waved it off. “That was easy compared to some of this.” Mentally, I reminded myself to start Valetta and Mitchell on speaking with the other groups’ leaders about their privacy and secrecy. I wasn’t keen on being summoned to meet with werewolves or fairies and the like.

“But that is the last obstacle, Abriel,” he said, his fingertips brushing my cheek as he tucked hair behind my ear. “The commercial will air in a week, and we will be three weeks ahead of schedule.”

“It’s a good start. But we still have a middle and an end to go.”

He looked ready to say something more before our escort led us downstairs to the car. I wished I knew what he had been about to say. I had a feeling it had something to do with enjoying the moment. Not live in the moment—since living wasn’t something we could technically do—but enjoy the moment.

Perhaps it was a strange thought to have; they seemed more frequent, though I couldn’t tell if they made me feel bitter or grieved. I tried not to think on it too much. Sure, it wasn’t healthy to hold it inside, but I needed to be calm and collected; I was in charge and needed to appear as such.

But how long could that last?

Eternal: Chapter Eight, Part 3

Justin was the one who met me in the lobby shortly after I arrived for our meeting. Angeline, he said, was saving a conference room. As we walked, he kept flashing me smiles as if that made up for something wrong. From where I was standing, there was nothing wrong. The smiles were flattering; I could see why she might like him, though I could also see how his confidence could be annoying.

The conference room was all windows on two walls, 30 stories up, and had an oblong table in the center surrounded by cushioned chairs. Angeline was standing at the window when we entered, enjoying the view of downtown; at this height, you could barely hear the traffic below.

“It’s wonderful to see you again, Miss Jones,” Angeline said with a strained smile. “You’re looking wonderful, though you could stand to use some sun.”

That must have been why Caroline liked her. “It’s a medical condition,” I lied, smiling. There was nothing wrong with the woman; she was pretty much just like Caroline, even if it didn’t make her the most eloquent or flattering of people. “And please, call me Leirba.”

It was still strange giving people a name that wasn’t technically mine; all the practice in my spare time helped, though.

“Shall we sit?” Justin asked, pulling a seat out for me. I took the seat, on the corner of the table. He helped Angeline sit, as well, before sitting across from me.

“So what is the goal of your revolution?” Angeline asked, sitting back in her chair.

Passing them each an overview sheet, I summarized, “The goal is to reveal the corruption of our government through the oppression and mistreatment of elementals—citizens who are gifted with the ability to manipulate a certain primary element.” When I said elementals, Justin tensed and his brows knit; a second later he had regained a neutral composure. “In the process, the current government may be completely removed, but that remains to be seen. For sure we’re aiming for exposure and liberation, our rights as people and citizens.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Justin asked after a moment. A bead of sweat creeped down his right temple.

Justin’s response didn’t worry me as Kora had already reacted similarly; Angeline was different, though. She stared, her lips pursed and eyes widened in disbelief, and a single thought scrolled continuously through her mind.

“It’s already in the works,” I answered, flipping to the front of my binder and pulling out the disks. “One of the disks is the rough draft of the commercials we’re putting together.”

“Commercials?” Angeline asked, one of her eyebrows arching high.

“To intrigue viewers into visiting the website, which the content for is on the other disk if you wanted to look over that; in that case is also a paper with the information needed to view the developing website. It’s mostly set up already and it explains our cause.”

“People won’t believe it’s real,” Justin said, staring at the CDs on the table before him.

“That’s where we disagree,” I politely said, sitting forward. I knew this was going to be an uphill battle; the whole two years were going to be an uphill battle. So far I was doing pretty good, but I wasn’t sure how long I was going to be able to last at this rate. “I think most people want to believe there’s some magic left in the world. It’s why people are interested in Wicca, even if they won’t ever practice it. Why supernatural books sell and movies are made. Deep down, we all want to believe there’s some kind of magic left in the world, that miracles can still happen.”

He stared at me and I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing. After neither of them said anything, I stood. Right now, it didn’t matter if they believed me. All they had to do was keep my movement from sinking due to legal issues.

“Just do your job.”

I was halfway down the hall before Justin stopped me. He instructed me to follow and then led me past the elevators and into what I presumed to be his office. Once there, he closed the blinds on all of the windows and locked the door.

“Why do you want to do this?” he asked, sitting on the black leather couch he had in the corner.

Still standing, I said, “Because it has to be done.”

“Exposing all of us is the only way?”

Ian’s instinct about the past was seeming more right by the second; given the opposition I was coming against, it seemed easy to believe everyone else who had tried before had been stopped by someone else; discouraged by someone telling them it was wrong. But no one could convince me what I was doing was wrong. Not because it wasn’t frightening to think how others might handle the news, but because there was a greater wrong happening that needed to stop. We weren’t weapons; we were people, and we deserved the right to live our lives.

“If you expose yourself, it’s your own thing. But people have to know we exist. If they don’t, we can’t stop what’s happening.” It struck me suddenly that he might not have known what was happening to us, how oppressed we were. “You do know about that, right?”

“Of course, I know. We all know.” He bowed his head, rubbing his temples.

“So, wild guess, fire?”

“Yeah. I’m guessing you’re air.”

Nodding, I sat down next to him. “I’m not forcing anyone to admit anything they don’t want to. I have given everyone on my team a choice, and any of them are allowed to back out when they feel it’s too much. You’re only association with us will be as a lawyer,” I said, feeling a need to comfort him. “It’s completely up to you if people learn otherwise.”

Justin sighed and looked at me. “Okay.”

“I need to be going now.”

He unlocked the door and walked me to the elevator. I hoped he would be okay; part of me also hoped he would choose to reveal himself as an elemental and truly accept himself.

Eternal: Chapter Eight, Part 2

“Can I get you anything?” I asked, breaking the silence.

“No, thank you.” After another moment, she asked, “What are your plans for today?”

“I’m meeting with the lawyers and explaining what we’re doing with the movement, also giving them what we have so far since it seems we’re mostly done anyway. That way they can look over it and make sure there’s nothing illegal…yet.”

“Yet?” One of her eyebrows arched.

“We are taking down the government,” I reminded her good-naturedly. “That isn’t exactly legal.”

“What is anymore?” Nick inquired, walking through the door and surprising us both. I hadn’t expected him for another hour. “Here’s what you asked for,” he added, handing me two writeable disks. “The information for accessing the website is in with that disk.” He pointed at the bottom disk.

“Thank you.” Opening my binder, I slipped the disks into the front pocket. “Valetta, if I had another set of disks made, would that be okay or would it be better to print the site layout and frames of the commercial?”

“Printed would be better;” she sat forward on her elbows, resting her chin on her interlocked fingers. “Technology doesn’t tend to work there.”

“This is what you asked for,” Nick said, gesturing sharply to the binder, his brow furrowed.

“No, this is perfect, Nick,” I said, turning toward him. “I need another set. This time a printout of the site layout, no coding, and a storyboard using frames of the commercial.”

“What for?”

“We have…stakeholders.”

“Who?”

I looked at Valetta and she gave me an almost imperceptible shake of her head. “I can’t say.”

“Okay…” His brow knitted in confusion, and his eyes were tinged with sadness. “You’re going to tell me sometime, right?”

“Of course,” I said, smiling, though I was unsure I’d ever be able to tell him.

He smiled—that beautiful crooked smile—and I felt my stomach twist in guilt.

Nick went to his room for whatever reason and then left again, probably to start the others on my latest request. Since Nick had come to stay with us, I sometimes wondered what my life would have been like if I had been with him. Granted, that meant not having Drei, but would things have been less complicated? Probably not, though it didn’t stop the question from arising.

“He can never know,” she whispered.

“I know,” I said, still staring at the door. “But I don’t think I could ever admit that to him.”

Eternal: Chapter Eight, Part 1

Chapter Eight: Concerned Bystanders

A few weeks later, Valetta stopped by with a letter from the Council. It wasn’t necessarily bad news, but I had been hoping not to hear from them for a while longer. The letter requested frequent updates on our progress, with a lot more flourish and many more words.

“Very well, then, I’ll have everyone make an extra copy of what we’ve done so far. Did you want to keep it?” I asked, offering her the letter.

“You may.” She crossed her arms loosely. “You do not appear worried about this.”

“Because I’m not,” I said, going to find my binder. “I figured they would do this, and even if it hadn’t been updates, they would’ve had concerns after the first commercial aired. It’s why you and Mitchell are ambassadors.”

“We have no leverage with the Council, Abriel,” Valetta reminded me stiffly. “You are the only one we know who has any.”

“I didn’t say ambassadors to the Council, Valetta;” I filed the letter in one of the folders. “I’ll deal with them personally.”

“Then we are ambassadors to no one?”

I turned to face her, leaning against the counter. “I’m guessing that if there is a Council to govern vampires, there should be a similar institution for other…I don’t know what they—we, go by collectively…mystical beings, I guess.”

 “How do you know about the others?” she asked slowly, leveling her eyes at me.

“Did you really think I couldn’t guess?” When she shrugged, I walked around to the kitchen, taking inventory of everything Nick had been eating so I could restock for him. Drei and I ate occasionally, but it wasn’t really required for either of us. He needed blood and I needed to be outside. I could guess what Nick liked best by figuring out what was disappearing; to my knowledge, he hadn’t figured out I wasn’t eating.

“Once I actually started thinking about this—and it wasn’t that long ago, just about the time you and Mitchell showed up—I figured if vampires existed in hiding, reason suggested other groups did as well. And since I purposely chose the first few commercials to be more on the vague side to make people want to go to the website, I realized it might put the Council a little on edge, as well as the other groups.” I finished assessing the cupboards and moved to the fridge. “Thus, since you and Mitchell have been around a while and would actually know about the groups, I decided you two would be perfect to go around and calm them, assure them all it’s not about them. Voilà, ambassadors.” Finished with the shopping list, I turned to Valetta and asked, “So was I right? Or should I not have bothered?”

Taking a seat at the breakfast bar, she admitted, “I did not anticipate you arriving at these conclusions.” After a moment, she added, “Drei knows more about the other groups than Mitchell and I do. Why not him?”

I remembered I hadn’t yet spoken to Drei about that, about why he was with me and not in some other, more definite role; I needed to do that. “He’d be a great ambassador,” I conceded slowly, taking the seat next to her. “Part of the reason is because I think it’s usually a good thing for people to work in pairs, and you and Mitchell make a great pair. You balance each other and it’s…great.”

“But that is not why.”

Her dark eyes were scanning me, and I felt extremely conscious of everything she was doing, of everything I was doing. I looked away from her, my gaze boring holes into my intertwined hands before me. “I need him, still,” I whispered, knowing how conceited I must have sounded.

Nodding, she laid a pale hand on mine, and I realized for the first time how ghostly I must look to the others, how pale I had become. My skin tone nearly matched hers. “Of course, you do,” she said kindly, squeezing my hand a little. “This is still new…”

She was biting her tongue. Valetta and Mitchell had been working hard on not discussing what Drei had done; the few times they said anything on the topic, it always sounded like an accusation, as though they had been betrayed by him. It was topic they avoided for the sake of not arguing around or about me; while I was grateful, it also felt like I couldn’t raise questions with the only people who had answers.

Eternal: Chapter Seven, Part 6

“It is not yet time for that.” He reached out a hand to me, but I didn’t want to accept it if he was going to ask me to consider never doing so again. “We are not the choice you must consider. We are almost there.”

I stared at him for a moment longer—ensuring he meant what he said—before taking his hand. Drei pulled me into an embrace, holding me tight, and my doubts dissipated as I breathed him in, inhaled his luscious scent. Part of me was frightened by what he might ask of me, but I had trusted him this long. A little longer wouldn’t hurt.

We continued and a knot started forming in my stomach. The further we walked, the more I remembered this place, and, if I was right, we were heading toward my old neighborhood. That meant the choice dealt with either my mother—my adoptive mother, my dad’s wife—or Dad. But the likelihood of my dad being home was slim; before I’d left, he was rarely home. And if this was for my mother…that wasn’t even a choice, really. I wanted nothing to do with her, and that I’d decided long before I’d left.

Sure enough, we ended up at the end of the drive leading to the gate of my old neighborhood. I was grateful we were here and not at the school; I wasn’t sure how I might have handled that, but this I could handle—maybe. There were a lot of good memories here, at least, even if there were some less than pleasant ones to wish me off.

“Your first choice,” he said, stopping at the bottom of the drive. “We can continue, or we can check into our hotel for the night.”

I stared through the darkness at the neighborhood ahead, contemplating the option before me. To go on might mean having to face one of my parents, and I wasn’t sure I was ready for that. On the other hand, I wasn’t sure I wanted to just disregard it all. Against my better judgment, I had bottled up the final events here years ago and avoided thinking on them when I could. The downside was I never found closure for myself, and letting go of my own emotions was much more difficult than helping someone else release theirs. So while I wasn’t sure if I was ready for confrontation or reunion—whichever awaited me—I wasn’t particularly keen on giving up a chance for resolution.

“If we continue, there will be one more choice for you to make,” Drei said.

“One more choice.” He nodded beside me. “We’ve come this far,” I said, “why not a little further?”

“Very well.” He turned to start along the outside perimeter.

At first, I thought to suggest we go through the front as I used to know the night guard fairly well; then I realized how long it had been and how much I didn’t know about this place anymore. If it was a different guard, he would probably call ahead to verify my identity and then whatever second choice I had to make would be made for me. Even if it was the same guard, many of my team hadn’t recognized me in my new state and we had lived together. Without a suitable alternative, I jogged to catch up to Drei.

“When I used to visit you at night, I took a back way in, never through the gate. They would have asked too many questions.” After a moment we came to a tall tree and Drei smoothly climbed up to the first set of branches. “Here.”

Though he reached down to help me up, after glancing around—mostly using my element to sense around us—I formed a block of air below me and was sitting on top of the wall in a moment. He smirked—probably at my ingeniousness—climbing the rest of the way and joining me.

“I take it no one is around but us?”

Nodding, I glimpsed over the wall. “Want a lift down?”

He nimbly jumped from the wall and landed in a low crouch on the other side. Slowly, using the air as an elevator, I joined him.

“Show off.”

“I am not the only one,” he said, smiling. “It is not much farther.”

“It’s just down the street.”

He nodded, a brightness to his eyes. I followed his lead out of this yard and onto the street.

In a couple of minutes, we were standing on the driveway of my parents’ house. I had never thought I would be there again—not this soon, anyway. It hadn’t changed from what I remembered, though it seemed larger and more intimidating now. Lights shone through various windows, mostly on the ground level.

“What’s my choice now?” I asked, looking up at him.

“I am not sure if you will take this opportunity, but I have felt for some time now that you left some things unfinished when you came with me,” he said, and as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t disagree with his conclusion. Maybe Caroline had rubbed off on me and now I wanted to disagree for the sake of disagreeing; I couldn’t be sure. “You must decide whether or not you’ll see your father.”

I had known that was coming. Despite my suspicions, I hadn’t given it much thought. Drei wouldn’t have brought me here if Dad wasn’t going to be home. But could I face him? After he had told me I was the only reason he could stand missing Mom, I’d left him without a word. There wasn’t a note. I hadn’t called, or written, or anything in the years I had been gone. Nothing, in all my experience, could suggest how this might play out. He could hate me for all I knew. Then again, he might be worse than before, and that would be my fault; no matter what anyone else said, it would be my fault, because I’d known how he was. He’d told me how bad he was.

A light came on in what I remembered as my old room. A backlit figure passed by the window and I wondered if that wasn’t Dad. My mind immediately filled with images of him wandering my old room, everything tidied and left in place like some kind of monument to my memory; I wanted to go to him, to show him I was okay and well and deeply regretting the hurt I must have caused him.

But what if he asked me to stay. Part of me would want to say yes, but I had Drei to think about; I had myself, and everyone else…not to mention my movement. I had to lead that; no one else could. If he asked, though…I felt obligated to say yes just thinking about it. Should I face my dad, I knew I wouldn’t have the heart to deny him.

“No,” I whispered, taking in the empty windows, the lifeless exterior, the cold building that once had been my favorite place in the world.

Drei waited until I turned away before he took my hand and we left. He didn’t ask why, though he probably knew; I had a feeling I was thinking loud enough for him to know anyway. But it was the best thing he could have done. As much as I wished I could see my dad again and make it up to him, now wasn’t the time. I wasn’t sure there would ever be a good time. Maybe after this was over, I could start to make amends.

Eternal: Chapter Seven, Part 5

Drei wouldn’t tell me where we were going, just that I would know soon enough. Until then, we were on a train traveling west, and he was keeping a tight hold on our tickets.

“Are you sure I’m going to like this?” I asked for perhaps the tenth time since we had left the apartment that morning. Part of me hoped if I was annoying enough, he’d slip and tell me.

“I cannot guarantee you will,” he said, as he had all day, “but I know it is something you have been considering doing.”

That told me a lot…not really. There were a lot of things I had considered doing over the years and most of them I hadn’t thought much about lately. I was preoccupied with other, more pressing matters. However, it was rather nice to be alone with Drei again and not having to worry about anyone else. Resting my head on his shoulder, I said, “Should I thank you now or later?”

“Neither,” he whispered, taking my hand in his. “Later, you will make a decision. Now you should sleep.”

“I’m not tired,” I insisted, holding back a yawn. I didn’t want to waste our time together sleeping. Especially since this was only my second day with him in weeks.

“You are.”

“You can’t know that.” I hoped I could convince him.

“It is raining outside;” he smiled kindly down at me, knowing he had won. I didn’t hate him for it; I honestly should have remembered it was raining. Rain made the air heavier; I’m no scientist, so I don’t know how to explain how exactly it does, but I can feel it. When it’s raining, I usually feel somewhat depressed if I don’t have someone near me to change that. Lately, that hadn’t been as true; instead I found I felt tired, though I could push past that if needed. Drei insisting I give in to it wasn’t helping anything.

“When you wake, we will have reached our destination.”

His arm wound around me, pulling me close. The next thing I knew, he was gently shaking me awake, saying something about arriving.

“Five more minutes,” I bargained groggily, curling closer to him.

“You may sleep when we are returning home, and I promise not to wake you then,” he said, combing the hair out of my face with his fingers. “But for now you have to wake. And look, the rain has stopped.”

Sitting up, I rubbed my eyes to clear the sleep from them. “Where are we?”

“It stops being a surprise when I tell you,” he teased kindly, grabbing our overnight bag and taking my hand.

It seemed since the Council knew, he didn’t care how we were seen in public. Before, everything had to be done with the utmost caution; no one could know—though this attitude had relaxed slightly with my turning. Now it didn’t matter, because the only people we had to be afraid of already knew and weren’t going to do anything about it for a while. Personally, I preferred it that way; it was less complicated.

I followed him along the aisle and down the stairs where we joined a few other travelers waiting to depart. Drei steadied me as the train came to a stop at the station.

“Do you mind walking?” he asked, glancing at me as we headed down the street from the station.

“Not at all,” I said distractedly. There was something familiar about this place. I’d been here before, I knew that, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. It was driving me crazy not knowing, especially since my mind seemed to be putting a block on whatever importance this place held for me.

“Do you remember?”

We passed the Café Cherie, and I knew where we were. I stopped to stare at it, unsure why he would bring me back here now. Drei turned to watch me, a certain glint in his eye at my revelation. His lips were pressed together, though, as if unsure he was doing the right thing.

“This is where you told me about—”

“And you left me there feeling guiltier than ever I had felt before,” he interrupted. My shock at being home—well, in my hometown—was clouding my judgment. Until my movement was fully in motion, it was dangerous to admit being an elemental.

“You said I’d have to make a decision,” I said slowly, staring through the large glass windows. This was the beginning, and some part of me was convinced it might also be the end. “Does that have to do with us?”

Eternal: Chapter Seven, Part 4

Nick would stay with us; Valetta and Mitchell had found a place to rent for a while and wouldn’t be using our spare room. Though I still wasn’t sure how dedicated Kora was at this point, she seemed better by the time she left; she and the others from camp had spent a couple hours catching up with each other and it seemed to calm her worries.

While I washed dishes, Drei came into the kitchen, wrapping his arms around me. I was surprised at first, but leaned into him after a moment, feeling all the worry and self-doubt from earlier in the day fade.

“I missed you,” he whispered into my hair.

“I missed you, too.”

“Valetta told me as much.”

“Are we going walking tonight?” I asked, closing my eyes and resting my hands on the edge of the sink.

“If you would like. Nick may come as well,” he offered. I was hoping this meant any animosity between the two was long gone. Just remembering how they used to fight made me shiver. “Everything all right?”

“Yeah. I was just thinking.”

“Of course.”

We stood in silence for a moment before he asked if I wanted help.

“I’m almost done,” I said, pulling gently away from his to return to work.

He washed his hands anyway; he rinsed the already washed dishes and set them in the drying rack. “There is something else I have planned for you.”

“And what might that be?” I asked, draining the sink and drying my hands off, handing him the towel as he finished rinsing.

“You shall see tomorrow night.”

“You and your mysteries,” I teased, wrapping my arms around him. He bowed his head to stare into my eyes with those amethyst gems. I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him, the touch stirring my vampire. It wasn’t frightening feeling that part of me anymore; the feeling of something shadowy and burning cold blossoming at my core and winding its way through my body. I wasn’t sure what to make of this new side of myself, but it no longer terrified me.

Drei lifted me onto the counter, kissing me hard. I didn’t know what I was feeling, or what he was feeling. It felt like my element had been completely overridden, but I didn’t mind. All I wanted was to feel his touch, to feel him. I only wanted him. And I knew he wanted me when his lips strayed to my neck.

“Did you guys—”

Drei pulled back from me, glaring at Nick. I slid off the counter, quickly turning and searching for something to clean. For anything that gave me an excuse not to look at either of them for a moment. I felt the dual impulse of injuring Nick for his interruption and grabbing to Drei to continue where we’d left off despite Nick’s presence. The flicker of what I knew to be me didn’t want either of those and began pushing against the shadows.

“Oh, sorry,” Nick apologized, backing away slowly. “Didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“You weren’t interrupting,” I lied, glancing at Drei. Even if they weren’t fighting, it was obvious sharing an apartment might still be trying in its own ways. Meeting Nick’s uncertain gaze, I asked, “Was there something you needed?”

His eyes darted in Drei’s direction, as though he felt compelled to leave us alone. However, now that my vampire was again subdued, I felt somewhat embarrassed and angry at myself. Even if that part of me wanted it, I wasn’t ready for it; and Drei wouldn’t know that unless I told him.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to pay anything for staying here?”

“We discussed this already, Nick;” Drei released an aggravated sigh, but it wasn’t because of the question. “You are welcome to reside with us, free of charge, so long as you like. Ask again and I may not be so generous.” He left with that, disappearing into our room, leaving Nick and I in an unnervingly awkward silence.

“I really am sorry,” Nick said, gesturing futilely toward where I had been sitting a moment before.

“Don’t be.” I closed some of the distance between us. It was less awkward if we were standing beside each other. “We were getting a little carried away. I haven’t seen him in so long—and…I’m just making you feel worse;” I crossed my arms and leaned against the counter.

“No, I understand. I really do;” he buried his hands in his jean pockets. “You love him, and you missed him, and it was your first chance all day to be alone together and I messed it up.”

Shaking my head, I wanted to tell him he hadn’t messed it up. Valetta had talked about my vampire’s lust, and I was fairly certain that’s what that had been. It wasn’t Drei’s fault for not being able to tell. He was as swept up as I was, but I couldn’t say that to Nick. No matter how I put it, it would sound wrong. Especially since I couldn’t tell him Drei had turned me. I couldn’t tell anyone.

Nick looked at me, his eyes clouded. “Sorry I didn’t get to say bye this last time.”

“Don’t worry about it…really.”

His lips curled in their signature crooked way, and he ran a hand through his hair. I felt a twinge better seeing him relax.

“You probably want to go talk to him, huh?”

“Yeah,” I said. “But we’ll talk more, okay?” He nodded. “Help yourself to whatever’s in the fridge or the cupboards.”

“Of course.”

Before I left, I squeezed his hand, saying, “I really am glad you’re here.” And then I went to find Drei.

He was leaning out the open window, basking in the cool night air. From the emotions circling around him, he was still perturbed but calming down.

“Nick really didn’t mean anything by it,” I said, approaching him and leaning against the wall beside the window.

Drei straightened and faced me. “I know,” he said softly. “I wanted to be alone with you and had forgotten he was here.”

Smiling, I said, “You’re the one who invited him to stay.”

“I, too, am entitled to forget some things.” Pulling me closer to him, I felt my vampire start to return and, this time, it did scare me.

“Drei,” I whispered, not wanting to offend him, but still wanting him to hold me, maybe even kiss me, vampire or no.

“Yes?” he murmured softly.

“I’m not ready,” I told him, before I lost the words altogether.

“There is nothing wrong with that,” he breathed into my ear. “I shall stop us before it goes that far.”

“Thank you.” And I was gone, slipping into his kisses and the burning cold darkness of this other me. I trusted him; I had to because, in this state, I couldn’t trust myself.