Eternal: Chapter Eleven, Part 1

Chapter Eleven: Unstoppable, Unalterable

Mitchell, Valetta, Drei, and I arrived at the starting location, approximately two and a half miles from the reflecting pool. Even an hour early, there were quite a few people waiting—about forty or so. Nick had left the house a few hours before us to ensure everything was ready, review instructions with his men and women, and then post them at various locations around the start point. They would follow the crowd to the reflecting pool, where they would take predetermined surveillance positions.

The whispers started as we approached. I told myself the whispers had been there before we neared; they weren’t for us and certainly not for me.

But they were all about me; all that I could hear anyway. It was strange. The last time so many people had been whispering about me, I had lost control the day before at school and had an entire school paper dedicated to my freak out. That it was happening again made my heart race and my breath catch. I forced myself to breathe deeply and reminded myself this time the whispers were good.

“Thank you,” a woman said, walking up to me, taking my hands in hers and smiling. Her blonde hair was down, floating around her face in the gentle breeze of the day. “Thank you for fighting to give us normal lives.”

“Thank you for bringing it to our attention,” a dark skinned man with a thick southern accent said, smiling at both of us. “We never would have known what was happening, or that we could even do anything about it, without you.”

“She’s over here, Mommy,” a little girl shouted, tugging on a woman’s hand, her brown hair pulled back and her hazel eyes sparkling. Her mother looked nervous, though her daughter didn’t stop pulling her along. “It’s Leirba, Mommy. I told you she’d be here.”

“Of course, she’s here, darling;” her mother glanced apologetically at me.

Crouching down so I was eye level with the girl, I asked, “What’s your name?”

“Elizabeth,” she said, digging a foot in the ground. “My mommy and I saw you once when you were talking to people and then you were flying and it was so cool!” She looked up at me with large eyes, bouncing on her toes. “And I told her I want a doll of you for my birthday, because if they make dolls of TV people, then you should have a doll, too, right?”

Smiling, sensing Drei trying to hold back a laugh behind me and Valetta swatting his arm, I replied, “I’m not sure how the doll thing works, but if you ask your mommy really nicely, I’ll let you fly for a little bit.”

Gasping, she turned to look up at her mom; “Can I? Oh, pretty pretty pretty please, Mommy? Can I?”

Her mother asked, “Are you sure it’s all right. I wouldn’t want to be a nuisance.”

“It really isn’t a problem if you don’t mind,” I said, still smiling.

Glancing down at Elizabeth, she smiled, nodding. “Sure, sweetie. But don’t whine when she tells you it’s time to stop, okay?”

“I won’t, Mommy, don’t worry.”

Stepping back from the crowd of people around us, Elizabeth followed and asked what she had to do.

Holding out a hand to her, I said, “Don’t let go of my hand, and when I say jump, just jump a little into the air, okay?”

Taking my hand, she nodded energetically. I started up the circle of air beside her, keeping it slow and low to the ground to start. “Okay, jump.” In the second she was off the ground, I slipped the flow of air under her feet and circled it around me slowly, lifting her only about a foot high.

At first, she wobbled forward and backwards, trying to catch her balance. Then she kept glancing between me and her feet, as if trying to understand what was holding her in the air.

“Don’t move too much,” I warned her, “you might lose your footing.” After a while, she was holding her other arm out and waving to her mom, smiling and talking about how cool it was and how jealous her friends were going to be when they found out about it. She was having so much fun I couldn’t help but smile. And yet there was a small pang of sadness as I was reminded that my mom wouldn’t be there. Instead of burying the emotion, I embraced it, channeling it into motivation for what was coming.

When I told her it was time to stop, she didn’t complain. Elizabeth jumped down when I said to and took only a moment to regain her bearings before running to her mom and hugging her fiercely. She couldn’t seem to stop recounting the details and her mom just smiled, laughing with her and listening avidly.

“Thank you,” she said to me before they walked away.

Elizabeth ran back for a second, hugging me around the waist, saying, “Thank you! It was the bestest present ever!” I watched as she ran back to her mom and they joined a group of people they knew.

“A doll?” Drei said into my ear, a smile in his voice. He was struggling not to laugh, his lips twitching slightly in the effort.

“Why is that so funny?” I asked, hitting him lightly on the arm. “I thought it was cute.”

“It was very cute;” he smirked, his fingers smoothing the loose hairs around my face back toward my ponytail. “I just cannot imagine you, my love, as a doll.”

“What? You don’t think I’m cute enough?” I pouted, knowing it wasn’t what he meant at all, but enjoying teasing him.

“Now I never said that;” his lips curled even more. “I find you positively gorgeous.”

“Besides, a doll could never capture your essence,” Valetta added, patting Drei on the shoulder as if to tell him to shush now.

“And it would make you seem more…plastic,” Mitchell added, tapping his chin. “That sounds slightly inane.”

“Because it is?” Valetta offered, hugging him and kissing his cheek.

“I think I know what he meant,” I said, smiling, thinking of what Caroline would say when she heard about it.

Eternal: Chapter Eight, Part 6

That’s where I stayed. It felt like an eternity that I lay there, my hand slowly bleeding—not fast enough to make a mess, just a slow, almost gelatinous, ooze—the carpet absorbing my tears, and me, suffocating, despite not even having to breathe. And the pain; the wrenching, burning pain clawing at my insides.

“Abriel, we will be late if you do not—,” Drei called as he walked through the door, stopping as he no doubt saw the mess I had created. He had run an errand and promised to be back in time for us to make it to the party.

He sat me upright, propping me against himself and holding me in his strong arms. I still couldn’t stop myself, even with him here. Nothing he said made any sense for a while, it was too soft and I was focused too much on what was happening inside me. When I wasn’t crying so hard, he lifted me and laid me in bed.

“I will be right back,” he promised, wiping the wet hair back from my forehead.

Drei spoke to someone in the other room, probably on the phone to tell them we weren’t coming. Caroline would yell at me for it later and Ian would probably tell her to shove it. Or someone else might. I tried imagining how it would pan out, but the distraction was useless; I rolled over, sobbing and crying again. I was coughing so hard my chest ached.

He was back again, propping me against his chest, rubbing my back until the coughing stopped. Then he cleaned and wrapped my cut hand. At least that’s when I suspected he did it; I didn’t actually know for sure. When he was done with that, he wrapped me in his arms and rocked me back and forth. I wasn’t sure how it was possible there were still tears left in me, but there were more, even if they only came quietly now.

Drei held me at least until I fell asleep. I was still in his arms when I awoke. His eyes were closed and his head bowed over me. I felt exhausted—emotionally and physically. Closing my eyes again, I only wanted to sleep, or try to anyway.

“We should talk first,” Drei said softly. It was strange hearing his voice in the silence, more so because he sounded worn and weary, almost fragile. “What happened?”

I tried to bury my face in his chest, but he turned and lifted my chin with a hooked finger.

“Something is wrong.” Had I not been so exhausted, I wondered if I would have thought that was the stupidest statement ever. Of course, something was wrong. The last time I cried anywhere near that much was when he kicked me out years ago, and, even then, it hadn’t hurt quite this much.

Shaking my head, I attempted pulling away from him. I loved him, but he did this to me. And yet I didn’t want him to feel guilty about it. If I told him, that’s what would happen, but he might be able to help me work through it so I felt better; if I didn’t tell him—I didn’t really want to think about that. None of what was going through my head was making any sense.

Drei wouldn’t let go of me; he wasn’t hurting me, but he wasn’t going to let me escape and avoid this.

“I know you need rest,” he murmured as he lowered his face until his forehead nearly touched mine. “But we need to talk about this, Abriel. What happened?” he repeated, as if I had forgetten the question. I was only trying to avoid answering it after all. “Tell me.”

“No.” Part of me still wanted to pull away from him, but part of me wanted to fall asleep in his arms again. Either way, I knew I didn’t want to answer that question, especially not now. “You don’t want to know.” I buried my head in my hands.

“If you are hurting, Abriel, I want to know.”

“Why? It’ll only hurt you.”

“That means nothing to me. Your health, your wellness means everything to me.”

Glancing up at him, I found his face already contorted in pain, all because I wouldn’t talk to him. That was what I’d been hoping to avoid. “It sucks,” I said lamely, unable to meet his gaze. “I don’t have a reflection.”

His fingers ran through my hair and massaged my scalp, though his unease and worry snaked around me. “I should have told you.”

“It’s why you took down all the mirrors.” I didn’t need him to confirm it because I already knew it was why. He wanted to protect me from that truth, and as I had become considerably with other things—like sating my hunger and the movement—I hadn’t cared. “That’s mostly why.”

“Such a trivial thing?”

“No, Drei. It wasn’t trivial.” He didn’t understand. By the time he went out into the world, he was numb from what he had done. He didn’t notice the world moving on around him, leaving him behind. “It was the last thing I could stand losing.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, Drei, I’ve been giving up and leaving behind so much. For my element, for my vampire…and it was just building on top of itself. One thing on top of another; something old would come up and add…and when I couldn’t even see what I looked like—couldn’t even prove I still existed—” My voice cracked as a new wave of tears pressed at my eyes. I had hoped my tear ducts were empty.

“I had no idea.”

“I didn’t want you to,” I admitted, sniffing, trying to hold back the tears.

“You do exist, Abriel,” he said, wrapping me tighter in his arms.

“How can I—”

“Because if you ever wonder, I will hold you. I will say anything you want. I will kiss you and do whatever you desire of me. I will stay by your side until you feel better,” he promised, his amethyst eyes pale and serious. “To me, you exist…and because you do, I am happier than I have ever been.”

Wrapping my hands around the back of his neck, I buried my face into his chest—breathing him in and failing to quell the tears now rolling down my cheeks—and this time he didn’t stop me. One of his arms was wrapped around my waist, his other hand lost in my hair.

Eternal: Chapter Seven, Part 1

Chapter Seven: Leading Change

“Drei isn’t back yet?” It had been over two weeks since I had spoken to Jake and everyone was out of school except Mikael—but he was on a brief break before the summer session. We were having our first meeting in a few hours and I hadn’t seen Drei since before I had started recruiting. I ran my hands through my mussed hair. “Why isn’t he back? He told you; I know he did.”

Valetta sat on the couch, watching me pace around the living room in my nightgown. She had told me he called a few days ago while I was asleep and promised to be back by now. But he wasn’t.

“You really should calm down,” she said before sipping from her teacup of blood. “Drei said he would return today, and he will.”

I wasn’t sure why I wasn’t calm to start with; it wasn’t like I was speaking to people I hardly knew. But this was an important day. They finally were going to know what our focus was going to be and I had this sinking feeling I was going to screw things up.

“Abriel,” she said gently, setting her drink aside and standing; she held me at arm’s length. “Stop worrying so much. Everything will go as planned and Drei will arrive safely.” Glancing at the clock on the wall, she added, “Besides, you had better change into something more presentable before Mitchell arrives with the others.”

I knew I was being childish in my resistance to Valetta’s soothing and distractions. It was petty of me to take out my frustrations at his absence and desire to communicate with me only through Mitchell and Valetta on everyone else. Although I knew this was my movement, I felt like this was something we were supposed to do together.

“He will be here, Abriel,” she asserted, squeezing my shoulders harder. “But you cannot reschedule this meeting. The others have lives, too.”

Part of me wanted to argue that I didn’t have a life anymore. That to have a life you had to be, you know, living. But I wouldn’t say that to Valetta; I wouldn’t even say that to Drei, though, honestly, I wasn’t sure how I felt about my turning anymore. I told myself if he was here, I wouldn’t be having these sorts of thoughts and everything would be fine.

“Okay,” I whispered, nodding my head. Of course it wasn’t really okay, but she did have a point. I couldn’t reschedule just because I felt like it. I was the leader, the coordinator; I had to appear as if everything was sunny and bright…even if it wasn’t.

An hour later, I had showered and changed into a summer dress and cropped bolero, ready for Mitchell and the rest to arrive. Valetta and I prepared snacks and chilled drinks with our remaining time.

“The door’s unlocked,” I called after someone knocked.

“Good God, Ian;” Caroline gasped, taking in the food and the two finishing the preparations. “We’re early. I told you we didn’t have to rush.”

I hugged Ian, glad they were here and grinning at Caroline’s whining.

“She would have been another hour if I didn’t hurry her along,” he whispered in my ear.

Smiling, I thanked him and then embraced Caroline; she handed me a small gift bag. “What’s this?”

“It’s your Happy First Organizational Meeting present.”

Laughing, I started opening it as she insisted it wasn’t anything special. Inside were several small candles of varying scents.

“They all promote relaxation, which you’ll need a lot of,” she said, kicking her shoes into a corner near the door.

“She’s been researching aromatherapy for you,” Ian said, grabbing a finger sandwich and walking into the living room, winking a sapphire gem as he passed me.

Caroline hit his arm lightly, pouting through her smile. “So shoot me for trying to be considerate.”

“I love it,” I said, interrupting any argument before it started —even if it was playful. Hugging her briefly again, I left my present in the bedroom, then helped Valetta move the finger sandwiches, cookies, and brownies into the living room.

“So how long before everyone else shows up?” Caroline asked, taking a few cookies and the napkin Valetta offered her.

I sat on one of the extra chairs we had pulled into the living room. “Everyone else should arrive—” There was knocking at the door and Valetta made her way over there as I stood again. “—now.”

“Welcome back,” Valetta said to Mitchell as he kissed her cheek and wrapped his arms around her. She whispered something else into his ear and he let her go. Probably something about Drei not being back yet. Here came the kid gloves…not that my behavior this morning had suggested they were unnecessary. I shoved my emotions aside; I had to play hostess, after all.

“Welcome,” I greeted as Kora, Mikael, Xenia, and Jake walked through the door. I hugged each one, directing them to take a seat and help themselves. “What would everyone like to drink?”

Mitchell sat with them as Valetta helped me gather and deliver the drinks.

“Are Justin and Angeline coming?” Caroline asked as I handed her the lemonade she’d requested.

“I’m going to talk to them separately,” I said, taking my seat again.

“Who are Justin and Angeline?” Mitchell asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“My legal consultants.” Before anyone could freak out, I added, “Caroline and I hired them so we don’t have to worry about the legal side of things. She used Angeline during her revolution and it was apparent to me that she and Justin would make a good team. Any other questions before I introduce everyone and we begin?”

“Is Drei coming?” Jake inquired before drinking some of his water.

Everyone stared at me, waiting for the answer I didn’t really want to give. “He’s still out on business,” I said—my smile probably more on the forced side of the spectrum—before Valetta had a chance to interject. “Now, introductions. You all know me, and you should know that you’re supposed to call me Leirba from now on. I’m air; Ian is also.” I indicated to Ian with an open, upturned palm, then did likewise to each person in turn. “Caroline is fire. Kora and Mikael are earth. Xenia and Jake are water. We also have Valetta and Mitchell to help us. As we’ve mentioned already, Justin and Angeline are our legal consultants, but you probably won’t see much of them, if at all. And then there’s Drei, as well,” I finished, looking around at them all. “Any questions?”

“Am I not special enough to mention?” a familiar, masculine voice asked from behind me. “Or do you just not want my help?”

Eternal: Chapter Six, Part 8

“I need your help,” I said gently, knowing there would never be a good time. “My movement is starting soon; our first meeting is after everyone’s finals. I want you on my team, for everything you can bring.” As I explained, I watched him carefully, not wanting to risk losing him to his own suffering right now. “School will come first. The only relative downside is we have two years.”

Jake didn’t say anything, which worried me. Everyone had reacted to the two-year limit and he wasn’t even batting an eye at it.

“Are we taking them down?” he asked after a moment.

Nodding, I said, “That’s the general plan.”

“I’m in.”

We sat there for a long while, me wondering if I should ask if he needed anything else, him wallowing in his own thoughts.

“Will I ever forgive them?” he asked softly, gazing steadily at the river. “My family?”

Sitting back on my hands again, I gave the only answer I could think of: “You’ll know in time, though I’d like to think you’ll be able to.”

Nodding, he admitted, “I have another question.”

“Shoot.”

“Can we save her?”

I almost hated the way he was looking at me, as though all of his hopes and dreams depended on the next thing I said. Yet it seemed fitting, as I had done the same thing to Caroline a year and a half ago.

“We’ll do our best,” I promised, unable to give the affirmative. There were too many variables, and how he meant saved may not be the same as just freeing her from whatever facility in which she was kept. “Did you want me to do anything for you?”

Jake shook his head, exhaling heavily. “You’ve done so much for me already.”

“It wouldn’t take much for me to remove your pain,” I offered, wanting to do more. I wasn’t sure if leaving him in this condition was healthy.

“I need it,” he said, holding my gaze. “It’ll make me better.”

“If you don’t let it consume you.”

“I’ll handle it better this time around,” he promised, offering a small smile. That hint of youth hadn’t been an illusion after all. “Besides, I’ll be seeing more of you now, and you can keep me in check.”

Smiling back, I assured him I would. He then excused himself, heading back to campus and leaving me by the river, promising he’d be better when I saw him next.

I watched him leave, not moving quite yet. It amazed me how this had gone from being a general action that needed to be done, to being personal for so many people. Ian needed it to happen so he could make his own contribution. Xenia needed it so she could be herself. Kora needed it so she could live a normal life without having to keep secrets—though I wasn’t sure she realized that yet. Mikael needed it so he’d know no one else would have to go through what he went through. Caroline needed it because it was her goal. Jake needed it so he didn’t feel like it really was his fault. And I needed it because I’d know I didn’t relinquish my dreams in vain.

Two years was starting to look like the least of my worries.

Eternal: Chapter Six, Part 7

It wasn’t difficult to track down to where Jake had disappeared; he had left in a terrible mood with a unique mix of emotions trailing behind him: disappointment, anger, hatred, self-loathing, and a touch of sorrow. The trail he left traversed campus and through the park nearby, down to the river on the edge of the field just beyond the park. He wasn’t much better off than when he’d left; if anything, he had just started bottling it all up again.

“Jake?” I asked, standing a few feet from where he was sitting on the bank. He stiffened, keeping his back to me and curling into himself. “Could you talk to me? Like a person who isn’t being purely defensive?”

When he didn’t respond, I sat next to him and waited a moment. He wasn’t running, which was a good thing, but something was definitely wrong. All of his bitterness wasn’t from normal circumstances. Something over the past few years had changed him. Never could I have imagined him so cold and hard.

“What’s wrong?” I tried, wanting him to open up to me. He’d feel better if he did, I was sure of it.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, staring fixedly at the water as if it was going to give him the answers he wanted. I would have told him it wouldn’t if I had thought it might help. “I don’t even know you, Leirba.”

Leaning back on the heels of my palms, I sighed. True, he was being a pain, but it was also true he wasn’t necessarily himself. Besides, anger wasn’t going to help me with this; it would only worsen things. “You do know me, so don’t even pretend.”

“Then why are you going by a different name, Abriel?” His eyes met mine; the brightness I had seen before was just a trick of the light. They were dull and lifeless; I wondered if the hint of childishness in his smile had also been an illusion. It was difficult to tell anymore. “It’s sketchy.”

“Drei wants me to go by Leirba for now. It’s really long and complex and I’m not really supposed to talk about it,” I said, having to look away from him. I wanted him to trust me, but I couldn’t even give him sufficient reason to. “Now what changed you?”

“Why are you here?” he asked instead. “Why now? Why not before?”

“Before what?” I inquired, hoping he’d say something to let me pry further.

No such luck. “Before now.”

It amazed me I could even be talking to the same person from all those years ago. The others, I could still see them, who they had been beneath who they had become. But every trace of who Jake had been…it was like it had all been erased.

“Before now I’d been figuring things out. I’ve been learning about myself and my movement, and some other stuff—”

“That you can’t talk about,” he finished bitterly. I winced at the daggers in his voice. “Well, while you were off doing whatever it was that was more important,” he spat, facing me, his face red and splotchy, contorted in a nasty combination of heartache and fury, “I was shipped from relative to relative until I was dumped into foster care, and then shipped from family to family.”

I was speechless for a moment, my mind absent of any response. “What happened to your mom?” I asked, remembering how he had told me she’d sent him to the camp for his protection. In his relation of it, she had promised to be there when he returned to her.

“The fucking government happened!” he screamed, tears coursing down his cheeks as his bottled emotions spewed forth. I tried to clear them away as best I could while letting him still go through the sensations. He needed to; he needed to feel again. He’d been making himself numb for too long and it was alienating him. “By the time I got back they’d picked her up.  My dad blamed me for everything; said if I’d never been born she’d never have been caught. He told me get the fuck out before he killed me. So I went to my grandparents, who sent me to one relative to another and to another until the last one didn’t want me either. I was dropped in their fucking system!” he yelled, pulling his knees to his chest and running his hands through his hair. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to hide in their fucking system?”

I pulled him into my embrace, knowing it wasn’t the foster care system he was angry at; it wasn’t even me. He felt like his father had told him the truth. It was his fault; he was the only one to blame.

“Jake,” I whispered, cradling him in my arms, rubbing his back and trying to limit how much of his pain he had to go through. There was so much and it was still so raw, as if he had avoided feeling any of it before now. “It’s okay. You’re okay. It isn’t your fault.”

He pulled away from me, his bloodshot eyes revealing how unworthy of my help he felt he was. “But it—”

“Your mother loves you,” I told him sternly. “She told you that, and she meant it. Nothing changed that,” I said, taking his hands in mine. He stared at me blankly, unsure how to respond; he wanted to believe me, but he had also spent so much time believing he was to blame. What I said seemed only like a happy pipe dream. “Nothing changes her love for you. Okay?”

He nodded slightly, wiping away his tears.

Eternal: Chapter Six, Part 2

Xenia was next on my list, not because I couldn’t find Jake first but because I wanted to save Jake for last. I knew there was probably going to be more for us to talk about; I would like to think I wasn’t avoiding the inevitable, but giving myself more time to prepare for it. I knew the likelihood of that being true was slim to none.

Valetta had found Xenia’s home, school, and even managed to find out her plans for the weekend—which involved some shopping, a movie, and dinner with friends. It was easier for Valetta because she hadn’t changed at all from when they had last seen her, but it was no use being bitter. I would have to figure out how I would talk to her alone and avoid keeping her from her plans for too long.

I sat in the middle of the mall, watching people pass for a while, wondering why I wasn’t seeing her anywhere. Then a group of giggling girls walked past and Xenia’s name was mentioned. There wasn’t a single blonde in the group, though. All of them had either dyed their hair blue or green, except for one girl who had chosen purple.

“I seriously did it;” the purple haired girl laughed, and I knew it was Xenia. Her looks may have changed, but her voice hadn’t—not much anyway. “I was not going out with him. He thinks we dyed our hair to make a statement about society and stickin’ it to the man.”

“But that’s not it at all;” one of her blue haired companions giggled.

“Exactly.”

Xenia whipped her head around for a moment in my direction before turning to her friends. “I’ll meet up with you at the boutique. There’s someone I have to see real quick.”

Her friends agreed and continued on as if this wasn’t unusual for her to be running off for a moment; she watched them for a short while. When they had all done their peeking over their shoulders and were back to laughing and gossiping, she turned around and took a seat next to me.

“She wasn’t kidding when she said you’d look different;” she crossed her legs at the knees, resting her chin on her hand.

“So she told you I was coming?” I asked, turning to face her.

“Of course she did. How else do you think she knew what I was doing today?”

“Makes sense;” I nodded slightly. “Did she tell you what I was coming to talk about?”

She shook her head, the purple locks escaping over her shoulder; she pushed them back behind her ear. “Valetta said she’d leave that for you.”

I debated whether to jump straight to business or not. I didn’t care to, but at the same time, she had already segued into it. But I wanted so much to ask about her hair. It had been a beautiful gold color and now, though still beautiful, it was purple. I was curious as to what prompted the change, especially since it wasn’t just her that had changed.

Then I remembered she was here with friends and my goal wasn’t to monopolize her time. If I had time at the end I’d ask, but she had already cut to the chase.

“I’m beginning my movement soon,” I started, deciding to just put it all on the table and see what she’d make of it. “Right now I’m recruiting everyone, yourself included. Don’t feel like you have to say yes; you don’t. It shouldn’t interfere with school, but you’d mostly be there for opinions and other kinds of input. The only downside is we have two years.”

Xenia nodded slowly, sitting back and crossing her arms, her eyes downcast as she contemplated my words. “Two years, is it?”

“It’s all I can guarantee.”

“And I’m guessing you’re going to say what this movement is about when everyone is together?”

“Of course. As soon as the school year is done for everyone.” I studied her carefully. If she didn’t say yes, I didn’t know who else I would choose. I had my mind set on her helping, but I’d ultimately have to respect her decision.

“I like the sound of a challenge,” Xenia said after a moment. “I don’t get enough of one as is, and it’ll be kind of fun to see some of the others again.”

“You don’t have any concerns?” I didn’t want to leave her with questions if I could help it—other than the main one, that is.

“Nope. It’s straightforward enough. I’m kind of looking forward to it,” she said, nodding her head, sitting forward on her hands.

Silence enveloped us despite the hustle and bustle of the crowds. It wasn’t long before I couldn’t help but ask—I knew if I didn’t soon she would excuse herself.

Eternal: Chapter Four, Part 4

“You knew I wasn’t dead?” I asked, cocking my head to the side, slightly put out. Mitchell’s habit of harmlessly tormenting people for fun was really starting to rub off on me. I was fairly certain that wasn’t healthy.

“I knew you were still around more than I knew you were alive,” he replied, shrugging and crossing his arms over his chest. “You have a unique imprint in the air that was still hanging around. When it disappeared that day, that’s when I called Caroline and learned what had happened. But then it came back.”

“It’s all…really complicated,” I said, knowing he was thinking about how it was always complicated—it did seem that way. “But I’m not even sure if I’m supposed to talk about it.”

He nodded. “She was a mess for the longest time, though.”

“Drei told me,” I assured him, hoping that subject would go away too. I didn’t like knowing I had been the cause of pain for people. It was part of the reason I tried not to think about my parents.

“But she seems better now.”

“I helped her let go of the grief and guilt she was holding on to,” I explained, shrugging, hoping he wouldn’t see it as a bad thing.

“That was nice of you,” he said softly, seeming to look past me. Yeah, he didn’t agree with it, but I personally hated to watch people suffer when I could help them.

“You aren’t mad at me, are you?” I asked, studying the bows on the toes of my flats. Ian was the only free air elemental I knew of, and I wasn’t sure how well I could pull off anything knowing I had angered him. He was one of those people I never wanted to cross, and not because he scared me. Ian was probably one of the frankest people I knew and that, in itself, was invaluable.

“Come ‘ere, love,” he said, pulling me into his arms again. “I can’t be mad at you when I’m sure you wouldn’t have put her through so much if you could’ve helped it.” Kissing the top of my head, he added, “Besides, you’re back now.”

“It’s—”

“Because it’s your time to run things,” he finished for me, unsmiling.

“How’d you know?” I stared up at him.

Approaching his painting, he pointed to the only gray strip branching away from the strand near the top of the canvas. I hadn’t noticed it before, but the three strips chasing after it weren’t pulling it back; they were swirling around it and creating the start of what could be a new strand. “That’s you.”

“You can’t be sure—that might be you,” I insisted, not wanting to believe him.

“I’m supposed to spread truths, but not until after there’s been a great change,” he said, scanning my face. “Which means it has to be soon because I’ve already begun painting.”

“Why can’t it have already happened?” I argued, knowing he was probably right since it was his work—he should know—but being stubborn just the same.

“Because every other air elemental who has led a movement was chosen to lead it by luck, not because they stepped up to lead it.” Eyeing me, having cornered me with the very information I had spent months studying, he concluded, “Until you.”

We stared at each other for the longest time. I still didn’t want to believe that was supposed to be me, but I couldn’t form an articulate argument in response; history was on his side, as well as his own destiny. The silence was broken when Caroline returned with her coffee.

“There’s more if either of you would like some,” she said, sitting on one of the couches, oblivious to the situation upon which she had stumbled.

“No, thanks,” Ian said as I said, “I’m good.”

“Suit yourselves,” she replied, shrugging, clutching her mug in her lap as if it were extremely cold in the room. “So, Abs, what’s the plan? Where do we start?”

Ian and I sat down on either side of her. “I still need a lawyer, and then I have to find the other four people I want on my core team,” I said, trying to remember what else I had already figured out. “Then we work on setup, because that’ll take some time. I’ll go more into detail when I have a full team, but that’s the basics.”

“Sounds like what we started with,” Caroline said to Ian, who nodded. “I can set up the appointment with my lawyer tomorrow. Noon work okay?”

I knew I couldn’t admit I was a vampire and that noon might not work out so well, so I said, “Sure,” hoping everything would work out in my favor. I either needed it to be overcast or to find a really big hat, though an umbrella might work as well; I’d make it work.

“Perfect. Ian can pick you up. Just like old times.”

“Of course,” Ian agreed, smiling as big as Caroline was.

Smiling back, I nodded, wishing it really was like old times. I had thought things were complicated then, but this was an entirely different web of all new proportions, and I would have given almost anything to have the old worries back.

Eternal: Chapter Two, Part 4

Drei left and, a short while later, Valetta and Mitchell followed suit. Not long after I watched them disappear around the corner, I left Drei a note requesting he meet me on the roof. The night was unusually chilly for the end of spring, but it was still beautiful—almost perfect in some ways.

It didn’t feel like I had been waiting long before Drei showed up. I heard him before I saw him, and I could tell he was uneasy about this. Valetta and Mitchell may not see us leaving together, but he was more concerned about if they saw us return together.

“Don’t worry,” I said as he pulled me into his arms.

“I do not want to cross her,” he said, the caution and the longing competing to be dominant in his voice. “The last time I did, it was rather terrifying.”

“Do you trust me?” My eyes searched his, hoping the answer I thought I knew matched the one his features revealed.

“Of course;” his brow furrowed, his eyes were shocked and incredulous I even had to ask.

“Then don’t worry about it.” When he nodded, I asked in a lighter tone, smiling, “Are you ready?”

“I do not even know for what to be ready.”

Laughing, I began pulling my usual breeze of strings. “Don’t be scared, Drei. I’ll be with you the entire time,” I assured him, stepping onto my breeze.

“You have been busy experimenting again, I see.” His eyes followed me as I moved in slow circles before him. “Now how do you suggest I join you?”

“Step up here with me.” I increased the number of strings and their thickness for added strength. “I’ll help you find your balance.”

Cautiously, he took my offered hand, jumping up to join me and nearly falling off again before taking my other hand and catching himself. I couldn’t help but laugh; I had never seen his eyes so wide before.

“You enjoy tormenting me,” he said, the corners of his lips curled upward and his eyes glowing.

“Only when you let me,” I returned, adjusting my balance so I wouldn’t fall with him. “Tell me when you’re used to it.”

“Not when I am comfortable?” he asked teasingly, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, if I wait for you to be comfortable, we won’t have time to go stargazing.”

“And where do you suggest we do that?”

“Are you used to it?”

“I would assume so.”

Turning my back to him, I announced, “Then we can go,” taking off over the rooftops beyond the city limits, but not too quickly—I didn’t want either of us to fall. Drei held onto my hands as he readjusted his balance to match mine. He was coping better than I had expected, but that might have been because he could use me to help him balance and I would adjust my own footing to accommodate both of us.

Neither of us spoke, but that was probably because neither of us knew what to say to the other. II didn’t mind much; I was just happy to be with him.

“We’re here;” I stopped us in the middle of an old, disused highway. The stars were brilliant here, practically lighting everything on their own. I stepped off of the breeze and Drei followed clumsily; I tried to hide my giggling behind my hand but he still glared playfully at me.

“If you were just going to mock me all night, I should not have indulged you;” he slowly approached, wrapping me in his arms.

“How can I make it up to you?” I asked, sinking into his embrace. I can’t begin to explain how wonderful it felt. It was almost like I was whole again. Almost, because I knew he was holding back, uncertain if this was appropriate or not considering the current situation.

The playfulness racing across his features disappeared to be replaced with a seriousness I was hoping wouldn’t rear its head tonight. “Do you think I deserve you?”

Sighing, I couldn’t help feeling I knew this had been coming. I knew it had been on his mind the past week, ever since Valetta first said it. “Drei, what happened was both of our faults. I don’t want you feeling discontent because someone else thinks you should;” I stared at him, taking in the sorrow just under the surface of the seriousness. “We’ve talked about this; we’ve both come to terms with it. We’re past it.”

“But do I deserve you?” he repeated slowly, painfully.

He really needed this answer, and I couldn’t help but feel obligated to say something. I had been there, after all, needing an answer I didn’t have, hoping it would make things better—feeling unable to move on or make a proper decision without it.

“I think so. Do I deserve you? How do you even measure that?” The question was confusing. How does anyone determine who has a right to be with whom? People make mistakes; just because they know better doesn’t mean they can’t be forgiven.

“You deserve the world, Abriel,” he whispered into my ear, holding me closer to him.

“So do you;” and I meant it. He hadn’t made nearly as many mistakes as I had. The only difference was I always had other people to help me fix them—or just fix them for me in some cases; he didn’t have that leisure or luck. Valetta might have held that against him, but I wouldn’t. If I did, there were a lot of things they should be holding against me and weren’t.

I turned in his arms so we could stargaze, deciding that was enough of that conversation. To be honest, I’m not sure how much stargazing we actually did. It seemed more like we stood together and stargazing was our excuse. When Drei suggested we head back, I created our breeze and waited for him to adjust before flying us back to the apartment rooftop.

Even if the whole rendezvous had been shaky from the start, at least we had spent some time together. I wanted him to be the way he had been—loving and confident, if not still somewhat penitent—but I wanted to be with him more. I didn’t care if that made me selfish or naïve. It’s what I wanted.

Eternal: Chapter Two, Part 3

It had been a couple of nights since I had fallen, and I decided I wanted to take Drei with me. I wasn’t sure if he’d be willing, but during the day, after I was sure Valetta and Mitchell were asleep, I slipped into the living room.

“Drei, can we talk?” I whispered, sending the words on a breath of air to his ear. He stirred in my mapping, carefully leaving the room so he didn’t disturb Mitchell.

“Yes?” he asked, standing before me a moment later.

I wrapped my arms around him, burying my face in his shoulder for a moment, breathing him in. It wasn’t until then I realized how much I did miss him—his faint flowery scent, and, when he held me closer to him, his touch.

Kissing the top of my head, he murmured, “You wanted to talk?”

“I miss you;” I didn’t want to let him go for anything.

“I miss you, too,” he said slowly, sadness lacing his voice. “I did not think it would be appropriate for us to—”

“I don’t care what Valetta said to you; I don’t even care if she supports us, Drei.” I held his faintly violet eyes with mine. “I love you, and that’s worth everything.”

His lips found mine for a moment, leaving me breathless—quite a feat considering I didn’t have to breathe anymore.

“I want you to come flying with me.” Drei gave me a look that suggested I hadn’t had enough sleep or enough nutrients or something. “I’m serious. Will you?”

“I am not sure that is possible,” he said, kissing my forehead.

“You can leave like you always do, but come back after an hour and they should be gone. Then we can go. They won’t know,” I promised, practically begging. Now that the question was put forth, I wanted him to say yes; I wanted him to promise we could do this together after he had left alone and hurting for the past week. “Say yes, please.”

He smiled wryly. “I spoil you too much.”

“You don’t spoil me nearly enough,” I teased, kissing his lips.

“Tonight, then?”

“Of course.”

“You should sleep now. I am not sure I want to fly with you exhausted,” he said, smirking.

Nodding, I left his embrace, feeling better but still somewhat empty without him near me. I had spent nearly a year alone with him, falling asleep in his arms. This broke habit, and he was a wonderfully terrible addiction.

“Abriel,” he called from his bedroom door. Turning back, I widened my eyes at him questioningly. “I cannot wait.” We smiled at each other, joyous and secretive, before parting for the rest of the day.

Sliding back into bed, I decided my next request of him would be about switching our sleep schedules so we’d be awake during at least part of the day. After all, you can’t run a movement in the dark. Then no one knows what’s going on.

Eternal: Chapter One, Part 2

It was wonderful being away from the apartment. My element picked up on everything around us: the wild party-goers; the happily drunk couples; the families leaving the movie in the park, babbling excitedly; the varying conversations of people leaving the visiting comedian; and so on. I was ecstatic to be surrounded and filled with the sounds of life again, even more so now because I was fully aware of my connection to the air element; we were far more intertwined than I had known while alive.

“Are you pleased?”

“Very much so,” I said, unable to stop smiling. Now that he had turned me, it didn’t matter who knew we were together. Of course, we would eventually have to face the Vampire Council, considering he wasn’t supposed to turn me in the first place, but I forsook that train of thought. Right now, his hand was in mine, we were outside, and that was all that mattered.

“How are you doing?” His eyes scanned me nervously, as though afraid I would fall into a million pieces if the breeze so much as shifted direction.

Nudging him with my shoulder, I assured him I was fine. “I feel better than I have in a long time.”

Smiling and looking at me as though I was the only person he could see, he said, “I am glad.”

It amazed me how much my element was absorbing. I felt connected to Drei, to his every available thought and motion, as well as to everyone else if I paid enough attention. How much I had changed hadn’t occurred to me until then. Before I might have wanted to shut it all out and just be with myself; but I had been with myself long enough and the lively change was more than welcome.

“I love the night,” I said, needing to express some of the happiness bubbling inside me.

“You used to love the day,” he said, almost forlornly.

“I know;” I gazed up at him, my free hand pushing some of his shaggy brown hair behind his ear. “But I can’t have the day.”

“No, you cannot.”

“So I’ll love what I can have.”

“That is a good way to live.”

“Not always. Sometimes that’s just settling.”

“This is true. But if you settle for nothing, you lose a lot.”

“Now you’re just trying to sound smart.”

“Perhaps.” He smiled down at me, his pale amethyst eyes sparkling. I found myself kissing him in the middle of the sidewalk. His arms pulled me closer to him for a moment before he seemed to remember we were in public. Grinning, he pulled away from me. “This is not the place,” he said gently.

“I couldn’t help myself.” I honestly couldn’t. The other part of me—the vampiric essence now a part of my being—had been tempted and had very little restraint.

“You will learn to control it,” Drei said, slipping his hand into mine again as we continued on our promenade. “It will take some time, though.”

“Everything takes time.” I was almost sick of hearing the phrase and its variations. It seemed like all I had heard the past six years. My patience was quickly, and understandably, wearing thin.

“The only person you are waiting on anymore is you;” he glanced at me, and I knew I had been thinking too loudly again. “So what plans are you making to start?”

Shrugging, I said, “I haven’t been able to think much on it lately. I’ve been too distracted.”

“What by?”

“Being outside again;” I grinned sheepishly. “But I think the first move to make is gathering those who are going to help me the most.”

“Such as…”

“You know. Don’t pretend you don’t.”

He smirked. “I do know.”

“So if I forget anyone, you’d better tell me so.”

“Of course.”

We turned into the park in silence. It was pleasant, and there were fewer people around so it felt almost like an exciting secret. Kind of like we could hide each other from the world and always be together. Especially since the sounds of the city fell away in the park, replaced with the rustling of leaves, the sighing of flowers, and the whistling of a warm spring breeze. The ambiance was soothing and seemed to carry away even Drei’s worries. I couldn’t recall ever feeling him so relaxed; it seemed he was always stressed by one thing or another.

When we returned to the apartment, it seemed entirely too soon, like we had barely been away. Drei explained the sun would be rising shortly when I raised the complaint. He wouldn’t say if we could have stayed longer had it still been night for a few more hours. Instead, he suggested I change for bed—arguing I had tired myself out with excitement—and wouldn’t listen when I insisted I wasn’t at all tired.

After changing into one of the long satin nightgowns Drei had bought for me recently—he had taken to showering me with gifts, either out of remorse or in an attempt to placate me—I returned to the living room. He sat, reading one of his magazines, completely engrossed.

“Are you joining me?” I asked, curling up beside him and resting my chin on his shoulder.

Drei dog-eared his page and dropped the magazine on the coffee table. He turned to face me and kissed my nose. “If I sleep now, I will miss something very important.”

“Like what?”

His fingers brushed the hair out of my face, tucking it behind an ear. “Such as the call I am supposed to receive this morning.”

“From whom?”

“You will see soon enough,” he replied, his hand traveling down my bare arm and stopping on my forearm. He lifted my arm so he could examine it while attempting—and failing—to conceal his amazement.

“What is it?”

“This is the arm you burned, correct?”

“Yes,” I said slowly.

“When did you heal?”

Shrugging, I pulled my arm away from him and crossed it over my chest. “I don’t know. Probably during our walk.”

“Are you hungry at all, before you go to bed?”

I failed to see the connection between the two but answered, “No.”

“Not in the least?”

“Not at all, Drei,” I said, knowing it was weird as I used to feel hungry most of the time and just learned to ignore it. But I felt completely sated. It was strange, but I wasn’t going to pay it any mind. For the first time in almost a year, I wasn’t hungry; I counted myself lucky.

“That is not at all like you,” he said, regarding me carefully. “You are certain?”

“Yes. What does this have to with my arm, though?”

“I cannot be sure,” he said, though the set of his jaw revealed he was determined to find out. He didn’t like mysteries any more than I did; the only difference being Drei was allowed to know the answers and I had to find them myself.

Deciding the mystery wasn’t worth it—I was healed, that couldn’t be a bad thing even if it was puzzling—I stood, pulling gently on his hand. “If you won’t sleep yet, will you at least lie next to me until I do?”

“You have become very demanding lately,” Drei observed, standing and following me into his room—where I had been sleeping since my awakening. We still hadn’t been together past kissing, but we were both fine with that.

“Not really; I’ve only asked you for two things.”

“And what message do I send if I continue to give you everything for which you ask?”

“You love me;” I snuggled into his embrace, my previous energy quickly slipping away.

“That I do.”

“And I love you,” I added, yawning.

He kissed the top of my head, tangling a hand comfortingly in my hair, the other pulling me closer to him. “I know you do.”

Vampiric: Chapter Eleven, Part 1

Chapter Eleven: Tear Stained

I couldn’t tell if I was in pain. It might have been so intense I couldn’t recognize that’s what it was; but it might have been nonexistent, and my brain was just trying to find it.

On the ambulance ride, the EMT kept talking, kept saying the same things Caroline had. She was there, too—still hysterical and panicking—demanding he do something while he argued he was trying and needed her to calm down. As they fussed around me, trying to stop the bleeding in my back, everything started blurring on the edge of my vision. It wasn’t long before I couldn’t make out any of his features, but Caroline was easy to differentiate; her hair was flaming, almost as brilliantly as she was. Her element seemed to be wrapped around her in bright crimson ribbons. Even after I blinked, trying to clear my vision, the ribbons were still there.

The blurriness didn’t go away as another group of nurses and doctors swarmed me. They were all talking, reading stats and asking questions. None of them seemed to have faces, though a few had blue or green ribbons wrapped around them. The only thing that made sense was trying to stabilize my condition—at least until they figured out the extent of the damage—and whether it would be better or worse to remove the bullets.

One thing that scared me was the stale air they kept forcing into my lungs. It wasn’t the air I was afraid of; it was how it didn’t feel right in my system. That, and the fact I didn’t seem connected to the air around me anymore. Before I could have improved my hearing, picked up on other’s emotions and thoughts. Now, I couldn’t do any of that. And, worse yet, it felt like I was going deaf. All of the chatter from the nurses was dying away into oblivion. Even Caroline’s screaming voice was being pulled away until it was barely a whisper.

“Let me through,” someone was saying, his voice coming across clearly despite having lost all of the others. It rang in my ears, startling, comforting, and familiar. “Abriel,” he whispered, his voice drowning out all of the other noise.

“Drei,” I breathed shakily. A blinding pain shot through me as if talking was against the rules. It died away and I could feel his hands wrapped around mine, his lips brushing against my knuckles.

I couldn’t begin to explain how strange it was to see him, for him to be there. He hadn’t spoken to me in almost eight months. In two thirds of a year. Yet here he was, as if nothing had ever separated us. Though I couldn’t feel anything inside me, I was willing to bet my heart was racing.

A white shape passed by the door and Drei followed it, demanding to talk to whomever it was.

“What are you planning to do that will heal her?” he demanded, leaving no question they would do otherwise. I couldn’t make out what the white shape was saying, but Drei responded, “I am the closest to family she has. What are the options?”

It was a long time before Drei answered whatever babble the shape had spilled. I had closed my eyes, trying not to think about dying. Even if everyone else would like to think they could delay it, I could feel it setting in. It was why the air wasn’t responding to me anymore. At this point, it was inevitable but I seemed to be the only one aware of it. What was worse wasn’t that I was dying; it was I still hadn’t done the one experiment I had wanted to try.

But he was here. If my heart stopped beating in the next moment, I would be okay with it. As much as I disliked her way of bringing him back to me, she did. And for that, I was eternally grateful.

“So if I say yes to the procedure, she may live?” Drei asked, still conversing with the white shape. There was more soft murmuring and then he replied, “Do it. Whatever it takes, do it.”

When he returned to my side, I wanted to tell him no. It wasn’t worth it. He was only putting off what was bound to happen.

“They will take you soon,” he whispered, brushing my hair back. “I shall be waiting here when you wake.” I wanted to promise I’d wake up again, but I couldn’t guarantee it; I couldn’t even force the words out. “You will wake again.”

He followed them as they prepared to take me into the operating room. Part of me knew he couldn’t be there with me, but it didn’t stop me from wishing he would be. Just in case I wasn’t able to see him again.

Vampiric: Chapter Ten, Part 2

As I had expected, Caroline sat in the living room, trying fruitlessly to focus on the paperwork before her. I watched her for a few minutes, witnessing her unease as she’d lift a page, sit back to read it, only to find herself staring blindly at it the next moment and trading it for another. Letting the door close noisily behind me, I shrugged out of my coat, feeling her eyes on me as she tried telling herself she wasn’t staring.

Taking Ian’s advice, I sat on the couch across from her, saying, “We need to talk.”

Caroline nodded. For the first time since New Year’s, I studied her and was surprised to see dark circles under her eyes.

“I’m sorry for blowing you off,” I began, slowly, figuring an apology was as good a place as any to begin. “I was…so upset by everything and I didn’t want to say something I’d regret.”

“I’m just grateful you’re talking to me again,” she said. She sighed and leaned back. “I have a question, though.”

“Yes?” I had a sickening feeling I knew what it was, which was worsened by the way she wouldn’t meet my eyes. Though I wasn’t sure I was ready to answer, I realized it was now or never. I had already waited too long.

“Why did he ask you to leave?”

It was my turn to sigh and sit back. There it was. Closing my eyes, I pretended I was talking to Ian again, when it had been somewhat easy to share. “He saw you kiss me and thought it was something more—”

“—when you were promoted and kept getting called away,” she finished, shaking her head dejectedly. Caroline ran her hands over her face, her fingertips stopping, tented under her nose. “God, Abs. I’m so sorry.” When she opened her eyes, I could see the tears pooling in them.

“It isn’t completely your fault,” I said. “I should have talked to him about it sooner, and he should have spoken to me as well.”

“But if I had been thinking…I shouldn’t have—”

“Caroline.” Now that she knew, I discovered I didn’t really want her to beat herself up about it. I just wanted things to be the way they had been, even if I didn’t think it was possible. “Nothing can change what happened. You didn’t know, and you weren’t expected to.”

“I’m sure there were signs I missed…that I ignored, Abs.”

“If there were signs we were anything more than…friends, at the most, it means we were careless,” I explained poorly. To fully explain the circumstances would take forever and even then she wasn’t likely to understand. “So if you knew, that means others knew, which means what should have happened would have been much worse.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, sitting forward on her elbows.

“It’s better if you don’t know,” I replied, really not wanting to go into that. “My point is, I didn’t want to outright blame you for that and whatever else I could think of at the time. I didn’t want to jeopardize our friendship while I was angry.”

Caroline stood and plopped down next to me, throwing her arms around my shoulders. “I thank you for that. If you had yelled at me, I would probably be the one not talking to you.”

“I know;” I smiled and hugged her back.

“Want to know something?” she asked, catching my gaze.

“Hm?”

“I think I know how you were feeling…still are feeling somewhat.”

“Ian kind of told me that,” I admitted, sheepishly. “Said I was behaving just as Drei had.”

“Exactly,” she said. “What if everything that happened was just because—”

“Stop.” I shook my head and closed my eyes. “This was his choice. We’ll both live with it so long as he chooses. Maybe longer. Don’t give me hope for anything different.”

“So if he came tomorrow and apologized, would you take him back?”

The question caught me off guard. I wanted to say yes, but less than five months ago I had told her I wouldn’t. “I’ll know if it happens.” It was the only honest answer I had.

“Not if, silly. When,” she corrected, squeezing my hand. “No worries, Abs. I’ll be optimistic enough for both of us. It will happen.”

Falling asleep that night, I couldn’t help but replay her logic and begin to hope she was right—against my own cautioning desires. Hope had brought him to me before and had kept me going this long; I could only have faith hope would be on my side again.