“I
need your help,” I said gently, knowing there would never be a good time. “My
movement is starting soon; our first meeting is after everyone’s finals. I want
you on my team, for everything you can bring.” As I explained, I watched him
carefully, not wanting to risk losing him to his own suffering right now. “School
will come first. The only relative downside is we have two years.”
Jake
didn’t say anything, which worried me. Everyone had reacted to the two-year
limit and he wasn’t even batting an eye at it.
“Are
we taking them down?” he asked after a moment.
Nodding,
I said, “That’s the general plan.”
“I’m
in.”
We
sat there for a long while, me wondering if I should ask if he needed anything
else, him wallowing in his own thoughts.
“Will
I ever forgive them?” he asked softly, gazing steadily at the river. “My
family?”
Sitting
back on my hands again, I gave the only answer I could think of: “You’ll know
in time, though I’d like to think you’ll be able to.”
Nodding,
he admitted, “I have another question.”
“Shoot.”
“Can
we save her?”
I
almost hated the way he was looking at me, as though all of his hopes and
dreams depended on the next thing I said. Yet it seemed fitting, as I had done
the same thing to Caroline a year and a half ago.
“We’ll
do our best,” I promised, unable to give the affirmative. There were too many
variables, and how he meant saved may not be the same as just freeing her from
whatever facility in which she was kept. “Did you want me to do anything for
you?”
Jake
shook his head, exhaling heavily. “You’ve done so much for me already.”
“It
wouldn’t take much for me to remove your pain,” I offered, wanting to do more. I
wasn’t sure if leaving him in this condition was healthy.
“I
need it,” he said, holding my gaze. “It’ll make me better.”
“If
you don’t let it consume you.”
“I’ll
handle it better this time around,” he promised, offering a small smile. That
hint of youth hadn’t been an illusion after all. “Besides, I’ll be seeing more
of you now, and you can keep me in check.”
Smiling
back, I assured him I would. He then excused himself, heading back to campus
and leaving me by the river, promising he’d be better when I saw him next.
I
watched him leave, not moving quite yet. It amazed me how this had gone from
being a general action that needed to be done, to being personal for so many
people. Ian needed it to happen so he could make his own contribution. Xenia
needed it so she could be herself. Kora needed it so she could live a normal
life without having to keep secrets—though I wasn’t sure she realized that yet.
Mikael needed it so he’d know no one else would have to go through what he went
through. Caroline needed it because it was
her goal. Jake needed it so he didn’t feel like it really was his fault. And I
needed it because I’d know I didn’t relinquish my dreams in vain.
Two
years was starting to look like the least of my worries.
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