The following
morning, Drei still wasn’t back, but it didn’t take long for Caroline to call
me. Ian picked me up shortly after and drove to the same place as the night
before. In the sunlight, it looked even more desolate, as though it might
collapse if you sneezed at it.
This time
she was waiting for us when he parked. A heap of folders and papers were tossed
into my arms the minute I was standing upright.
“Those are
the charts. It has everyone’s positions on them as well as their profiles and
what we know about each one. This is your copy. If you change or add anything,
you have to do the same with my copy,” she said, hands on her hips, staring at
the pile in my arms. “There’s some other stuff in there, too. Mostly
information and assignments on the next broadcast. You’ll have to make
printouts for every person working that night to hand out beforehand. Well,
everyone who has something specific or important written in the assignments
folder.”
She started
to walk off in the opposite direction of her office, Ian following a step
behind, before she turned back. “I almost forgot,” she said, smiling in her
carefree way, tossing me a key. “Don’t lose it,” she warned. “It’s to my
office. You should get acquainted with where everything is. If I can’t find
something,” she said, turning back around and walking off again, “it’s you I
call.”
Thus was
the official start of my new secretarial responsibilities. After acquainting
myself with her files—realizing how disorganized she was—I sat down to her
computer to begin typing out the assignment sheets. Those, once printed, went
into a new folder so I wouldn’t lose them. When I was done with that, I crammed
what I could into my purse and, carrying the rest, left, walking to the nearest
working bus stop and hitching a ride back to the apartment.
Drei was
asleep in his room, a heavy blanket over the window to block out what the
curtains didn’t. I left him alone, wishing he would be around and awake so we
could talk about what was bothering him—I sensed it was something more than my
needing to leave abruptly the previous night. I was starting to believe
Caroline was right and he was letting something stew instead of talking to me
about it, possibly whatever had happened to make him dislike her.
I sat at
the coffee table and began reading through the papers. I didn’t know who had
put them together, but it was a mess that was quickly driving me as crazy as
Mom. Stopping just before reaching a point of wanting to tear my hair out, I left
and returned an hour later with paper and colored pens. I was going to scrap
the old charts after I remade them.
Those
charts took a week. Not because they were particularly difficult, but because,
originally, there were eight charts with all of the positions and first names
written in. I simplified the charts for future use, only marking down the
positions and creating a separate chart for each group of people. Also, I made
sheets detailing the positions of each person in any set. That was the most
time consuming, mostly because once I had two sets made—one copy for Caroline,
one for me—I had to make a copy for each person on the list. True, there was
probably some computer program I could have used, and perhaps I would do so
later on, but working by hand filled the long, lonely hours and kept my mind
busy.
Every night
during that week, I fell asleep on the couch. Without fail, Caroline would wake
me up by calling. There were a total of 17 calls from her, four of which were
while I was working in her office; those meetings covered everything from the
location of the next broadcast to new employees and security. While I saw
plenty of her and Ian, I didn’t see Drei unless he was asleep. His waking presence
was apparent, though; when she did wake me, I found someone had covered me with
a blanket. Despite this, I failed to ever come across him. Needing to speak
with him, but unable to, I focused even more on finishing the charts.
The next
broadcast was still a couple weeks away when Drei and I were finally home at
the same time. I had just woken up—surprisingly, it wasn’t because of Caroline.
Still slightly groggy, I heard him walking past rather than saw him.
“Wait;” I reached
blindly out with one hand, the other still clearing sleep from my eyes.
Sitting up,
I watched him shrug into his coat and reach for the door; I did the only thing
I could to stop him from leaving. Manipulating the air, I shoved his hand
aside.
“I said
wait.”
He tried
again, and this time I wasn’t as nice.
Shoving him sideways into the kitchenette, I stood and was soon blocking
his way out.
“We need to
talk.”
“What
about?” he questioned grudgingly, his eyes frighteningly cold.
“Well…” I
had been waiting for this moment but had failed to develop any specific
questions. “For starters, why are you avoiding me?”
“I have not
been avoiding you,” he said, though he shifted his weight from foot to foot and
wouldn’t meet my eyes.
“I didn’t
think you’d lie to me about that,” I whispered, shoving my hair behind an ear.
“I haven’t seen you in over a week.”
“We have
both been busy.”
“Amazing
how you’re suddenly busy after I get promoted,” I snapped before I could stop
myself. I dragged my fingers through my hair, breathing deeply. “That’s not
what I meant to say.” This was already going so wrong and now I was trying to
make it out to be a power trip? Slumping against one of the cabinets and hiding
my face, I tried to think of something to say that would help fix this all.
“I—Drei—”
My phone
started ringing.
“You had
better answer. Caroline does not strike me as particularly patient.”
“We still
need to talk,” I said, knowing he was right.
“Then do
not answer.” When I didn’t move—partially pissed off he could even suggest
that—he added, “You know you want to.”
“I don’t
want to,” I said, hating the constricted feeling of my throat. Caroline was
ruining what could have been a healing moment for Drei and I, something we
wouldn’t need if she had never come into our lives.
“Then do
not answer.”
Though I
knew I needed to, I debated which I needed to do more: talk with Drei or answer
Caroline. Just before the ringer quit, I answered, hearing Drei’s disappointed
sigh. I didn’t see how he had a right to be disappointed when he was being the
difficult one.
“Can you
give me half an hour?”
“If we are
going to discuss anything,” Drei said behind me, “we shall need more than half
an hour.”
“No,”
Caroline replied shortly. “I need you now. That’s why I’m calling now.”
“Please,” I
begged, knowing I needed to at least spend some time talking with Drei.
“What could
be more important than me needing you here?” she asked, a note of incredulity
to her voice.
I wanted to
tell her there were a lot of things more important, but I couldn’t. Not without
unleashing her full wrath—or mine, for that matter. Instead, I said, “This,
Caroline. Please.”
“No, and
Ian will be there shortly;” she hung up.
“You act as
though you did not expect as much.”
Despite my
growing frustration with him, I wrapped my arms around him, trying to think of
something to say. Trying to convince myself I wouldn’t go…not now. Even though
he was stiff in my arms, I didn’t let go; I couldn’t so long as I believed
there might be a chance—even if it was in hell.
“It is
apparent both of us must be going, so let us not delay.” With that, he broke my
embrace and disappeared again, slipping through my fingers.
