Vampiric: Chapter Nine, Part 8

Christmas morning was interesting. We gathered downstairs and presents were passed out, but no one moved to open them. Then Ian insisted her parents start, Caroline backing him. All of their gifts were thoughtful and beautiful, my own to them a set of 20 pairs of scented taper candles and two glass, box-shaped candle holders. Caroline opened hers next and politely thanked her parents for the cashmere sweaters. I didn’t know what to get her, so I gave her a certificate for a few spa days—not that I was insinuating anything.

Ian refused to open his before me, so I went next. He had given me a spa day package to the same place I had picked up Caroline’s. Her gift was a pearl necklace—“Because every girl needs one.” I was surprised her parents had also given me a gift—a tri-gold piece, the different gold strands entwined to create a thin rope necklace.

Ian opened his last, thanking me for the collection of crocheted caps, then laughing when he found Caroline had gifted him a similar set. Caroline had also given him a set of oil paints to accompany the large canvases from her parents. Well, it was the receipt for the canvases which were to be delivered to his loft sometime after the holidays.

While we were at the beach house, her parents were pleasant, but I had this strange sensation it was all a ruse. That while I walked on the beach—sometimes over the water—not all was as it seemed. I didn’t press Ian or Caroline for answers; I didn’t much want them. It seemed silly to add more problems to my plate before my own were taken care of.

Sometimes I wished I would ask, though. Every time I would talk to Caroline, she seemed tense, as though she was reeling in her stress and anger so as not to worry me. Even Ian seemed changed; he wasn’t as relaxed and carefree. I wondered if it was something her parents kept telling them. They never called me in to talk like they did those two. It made me grateful, though I felt slightly guilty.

When we left, Caroline confided that she was glad the rounds were done until Easter. Ian teased her that he didn’t have to return for another year and she slapped him on the arm for it. I was willing to bet he would have been smacked upside the head, but he was driving.

Whatever had happened while we were there was past, thankfully. I was discovering part of the peace I found came from their energy. Still able to feel the caress of the ocean breeze in combination with their typical energy, I felt much better. Things were slowly returning to normal.

Vampiric: Chapter Nine, Part 7

“Ian,” Caroline called in her smooth voice, still further down the beach.

His arms still wrapped around me, he craned his neck over his shoulder to see her. I turned to face him, grateful the threat of tears was past and he had been gracious enough not to make it worse. There was almost more comfort in his embrace than in knowing he wouldn’t tell.

Rubbing my arms he asked, “Are you going to be okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” I assured him, the feeling of betrayal still tossing uncomfortably in my stomach but my emotions in check. I even tossed in a genuine smile so he’d believe me.

“No worries, love,” he said with a hint of Irish accent. He tipped my chin up with a hooked finger. “Your secret’s safe with me.” He winked at me just before Caroline was upon us.

“What are my favorite people up to?” she asked, throwing her arms around us.

“Just walking.”

“And talking,” Ian added, smiling. “And you obviously want something.”

She gasped, her features indignant. “Not me, Ian. Haven’t you learned by now? When we’re with my parents, they’re the ones who want. You know, answers, questions, updates, lies, empty promises, a touch of truth to abide by the idiot rules.”

“It’s been so long I nearly forgot,” he said, shaking his head.

“Best be off. They don’t much like waiting, if you remember,” she warned.

“Right, then. We’ll all have to talk later;” He headed back toward the house.

My eyes followed him as my mind tried to convince the rest of me telling him wasn’t a betrayal. It was healthy to have more than one close relationship.

“Aren’t your feet cold?” Caroline asked, jarring my attention away from my inner turmoil.

“I’m used to it by now. It actually feels refreshing.”

Shrugging, she slipped out of her flats and let them dangle from two fingers at her side. “Let’s walk.” Neither of us said anything for a while, though she did curse the first few times the ocean washed over her feet. I was about to suggest she warm her feet if she didn’t like the cold, but the next time a swell broke over the sand, steam rose from where she walked and there were no more complaints.

“How are you holding up?” she asked. Until then, I had been watching a couple of seagulls soar over the ocean, reminding me of what I still wanted to try.

“It’s been over three months,” I said, not wanting to go more in depth.

“That’s not an answer.”

For a while I ignored her, not wanting to open that can of worms, but knowing she’d insist until I did. I wasn’t hiding it to spite her, though I knew that’s what she believed. It was just too hard to go there still. Everything was better when I left it alone; everything except the hole in my still fragile heart that seemed to rule my dreams and nightmares. But I was fine not fully dealing with it otherwise.

“I’m holding it together,” I said at last, knowing it would come nowhere close to satiating her want.

“More can be expected, Abs.”

I wanted to argue against her claim, fighting that more couldn’t be expected when it was Drei. That someone like him took more time because he’d been around longer. He’d seen more; he’d cared. And in return I would have done anything. I did everything. But that couldn’t change what had happened.

“Not thinking about it helps more than anything else.”

“Not for long,” she said, saying what I already knew to be true.

Shaking away her words and the emotions that could crush me given the chance, I quickened my pace enough so we weren’t next to each other. I still hadn’t told her it was partially her fault. Between calling all the time and that surprising kiss, there was no way she wasn’t responsible for some part in my pain.

And yet she had been there when I needed someone. It was enough to keep her from knowing, for the time being.

“Abs, how are you doing?” she pleaded. “Talk to me.”

Blocking her words, I looked out to the clam serenity of the ocean, thinking if I could be out there, this conversation would just fade away. It wouldn’t happen, and it wouldn’t change anything.

Pulling the air into little cloud-like blocks to walk across, I made my way out over the ocean, Caroline’s cries of concern falling away in the breeze. I stopped, not wanting to go too far. Escape didn’t matter if you didn’t survive it.

Standing over the ocean, the water rolled gently below me; it was far enough away not to threaten to weaken me. Although the air was heavier, it was also sweeter. The breeze brought calm with it, wrapping me in blankets of control and peace. It almost seemed to work at healing me, making me strong again. Confident, again. Inhaling the moist wind, I could feel it swirl inside me until it was dangerously close to lulling me into a deep relaxation where I forget even the air holding me up. There, I could pull out my thoughts, one by one, sorting through what made sense without the teary mess.

When I was ready, I thanked the ocean breeze, feeling better than before, though I knew I still had a ways to go. I felt, now, at least, I could answer Caroline and work towards being better than “holding it together.”

She waited on the beach, knees pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapping her sweater tight around her in the growing darkness.

“After three months,” I started, stepping down into the wet sand before her, “I still miss him. But I can live without him. I can laugh again, smile without feeling it’s wrong. It doesn’t hurt as much. It still does hurt, though. The little reminders every day make it hard not to think about.”

“Is that all?” she asked, standing and dusting her skinny jeans clean.

“There has to be more?” I hoped she didn’t expect waterworks. It wasn’t what I wanted for myself, anyway.

“I half expected you to cry,” she said. “What happened out there?”

For a moment, I thought about giving her the long version, the slow way my element worked to bring me to a good place, a place I could be in and not fall to pieces easily. But I wasn’t sure she could understand. Her element was different from mine, and I wasn’t sure she had ever experienced anything like it. “I found peace,” I said instead.

“Really?” Caroline cocked an eyebrow at me and turned her head slightly. Why did she not believe me on things like this?

“A semblance of it;” I smiled, knowing it sounded weird without the full explanation.

“If you insist,” she said, shrugging. She started to walk back to the house.

Following her, I said, “I do.”

Walking back, I felt like I could do anything. Like that may have been the last time I would come near to crying over him. Caroline told me we were staying only for a few days past Christmas and then heading back to the city to party for New Years. The thought of going dancing without him didn’t wring my stomach in knots as it would have earlier that day. In fact, I found the prospect rather exhilarating.

Vampiric: Chapter Seven, Part 2

Lily saw us off the next evening after wrapping my arms in bandages. She had cleaned them when we first arrived, she informed me, but was wrapping them so I wouldn't have to look at them. She hadn't changed at all from how I remembered her. Still smiley and bubbly with bobbed, curly blond hair.

“Thank you for everything,” I said, embracing her.

“Aw, sweetie, it really is nothing to thank me about;” she hugged me back before holding me at arm’s length. Even if it was dangerous, looking at her, she really was good for Nick. He needed her, and she needed him. Who knew for how long? But did that really matter?

“It is. Nick's lucky to have you.” Taking her hands in mine, holding them between us, I stared into her topaz eyes. “Really.”

A smile broke across her lips as she said, “Thank you for that. You really are unique, Abriel.” Shaking her head, she added, “Stop thanking me. If you can pull it off, it will all be worth it.” She squeezed my hands before letting go. Sashaying to where Drei waited a few yards away, she poked a finger at his chest. “Take care of her. Nick and I can’t always be around to help you find her.”

Drei nodded, a bemused smile curling his lips and crinkling his eyes. “I would have figured it out eventually.”

She burst out laughing. “Of course. Before she was old and wrinkled or after?”

“Thank you, Lily,” Drei said, still smiling. “You saved me a few years.”

“And saved her in time to do her part, in case you forgot.”

“I'm right here;” I was a little embarrassed they were talking so openly about me but disappointed they still managed not to reveal anything I wanted to know.

“Your ride should be here shortly,” Lily reminded Drei, turning to face me. She hugged me again, whispering, “Take care, now.” Glancing over her shoulder at Drei, she added, “Of both of you.”

He held a hand out to me, then, saying, “Yes, our ride should arrive shortly.”

Outside, the last rays of sun were still fading behind the horizon, casting long shadows across the earth.

“It's so beautiful out here,” I whispered, taking in the view. Lily's home was on a hillside, surrounded by trees and a fabulous view of the hills falling away in the distance. Everything was cast into varying degrees of gold and black; everything seemed to shimmer in the dying light.

“It is.”

“So who's our ride?” I asked, tearing my gaze away from the landscape to face him again. Since waking up, I was considerably calmer—still torn from the news of my mom, but holding together well enough.

“Caroline said she would send someone, so I presume it would be Ian or another of her drivers,” he said, trying not to seem obvious about craning his neck to see further down the road.

“There's a car on its way up, so you can relax a little.”

“You are improving,” he said distantly, slipping his hand from mine and tucking it into his coat pocket.

“What do you think I was doing the whole time? Goofing off?” I questioned playfully, hoping I was doing a decent job of hiding the sudden jab of pain in my heart.

“You?” he teased in his awkward way. “I would never assume such a position.”

“Sure you wouldn't.”

Our burgeoning banter was interrupted at the sight of the black car rolling up the drive. We walked towards it, prepared to see Ian hop out wearing some crazy cap but were treated, instead, to the sight of Caroline slipping from the driver's seat. She was dressed down in a pair of blue skinny jeans, a black band tee, and black flats with hardware accents.

“What, didn't know I could drive?” Caroline questioned, a huge smile lighting up her face.

Vampiric: Chapter Two, Part 2

Drei must have sensed my unease after leaving the meeting with Caroline because he made a point of spending more time with me. During the days he was teaching me the tango, his aggravation at my inability to close my feet on the fifth step kept at bay until I finally managed to remember. After successfully completing the step for nearly half an hour, Drei added music to the formula, swiftly taking off into a more complex tango, my feet following obediently, only occasionally stumbling. At those times, he smiled, telling me I was doing wonderfully, and slowed down until I was comfortable again.

After dancing for what felt like an hour, he smiled approvingly, spinning me out and back in, kissing me as I stopped in his embrace. Neither of us pulled away, too content in being close. If things continued as such, I thought I might be able to overlook Caroline’s negativity altogether. If nothing else, it was bringing us closer, even if there was still a nagging voice in the back of my head telling me I had to be cautious.

Ballroom dancing was a way we could be close without necessarily drawing attention to our relationship. The tradeoff was, of course, when we went out at night, I taught Drei how to dance to regular music, and sometimes he added his own twist of classical dance. Though he did try his best, his attempts were humorous as he tried to add familiarity to the new. He often teased this “new dancing” was a cruel joke to make a fool of him.

The day before we were supposed to meet Caroline for her project, Drei and I went walking. He judged it was safe for him since the sun was hidden behind the heavy white-gray clouds. I still wasn’t sure about his tolerance to light. He had once told me sunlight didn’t matter; now it seemed to matter and, though I was curious, he would probably shrug it off as being unimportant.

When we were halfway through the park, it began to snow. I ran out to the center of the open field where snow from earlier in the week still lay peacefully. There, I spun in circles, holding my arms out.

Snow was the one form of precipitation that didn’t make me feel like I was suffocating. Rain made the air heavier and, since air was as much a part of me as my skin and hair and thoughts, it always depressed me. But snow was different. It was solid enough to affect me much like falling leaves—which wasn’t at all.

Drei stood on the cleared path, watching. I stopped, the corners of my lips curling upwards.

“Come on,” I shouted across the distance, waving my arm in a huge arc. “Dance with me.”

“No thank you,” he replied, smiling, his hands buried in his coat pockets.

“Fine,” I said, bending down to scoop up a handful of snow.

“Do not—” Drei’s sentence fell flat as the snowball smashed against his shoulder. At first, he just stared at the clumps of white embedded in the crevices of his coat, bright against the dark material. In one swift motion, he scooped up a handful of snow and tossed it in my direction.

A yelp escaped my lips as I dodged it, laughing giddily.

“It is unfair,” Drei said, the beginnings of a smile on his lips. He was already throwing another snowball in my direction.

“Fair?” I questioned, changing the course of the snowball. “Bombarding me is what’s unfair.”

A couple more snowballs hit Drei as I blocked whatever he threw my way. Even when he attempted dodging my missiles, I just manipulated the air to make sure they hit their target—his punishment for being so resistant to dancing with me.

“What is unfair,” he said—snow dusted over his slightly shaggy light brown hair—“is the fact you have an advantage.”

“I have no clue what you mean,” I teased, running to a new location that hadn’t been scavenged clean.

His amethyst eyes sparkled as he loudly replied, “And that is why you have yet to be hit at all—”

“I’m just that good.” When I noticed him running towards me, a fistful of snow in his possession, I screeched joyfully, running away from him. Drei caught me fairly quickly, holding me in his free arm and rocking us back and forth.

“I will not use this snow against you,” he said, his features serious, but a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

“That’s why you’re still holding it.” I glanced at the clump of snow he still clutched.

“I am still holding it because it told me you deserved this.” I flinched in his grasp as he crushed the snowball on top of my head. He laughed as I shook large chunks out of my hair, my cheeks bright red and cold, both of us wearing veils of snow in our hair. “You cannot avoid me forever.”

“I never said I wanted to.” Our eyes locked on each other.

Everything around us was silent, almost as though it was afraid to interrupt us. All of the laughter and teasing that had echoed in the clearing had faded away. What was left was the soft snowfall and us, together, seemingly suspended in time.

And then he kissed me.

There, in the open, for anyone to see—not that there were many people out for leisurely strolls—in one of the most peaceful settings of which I had ever been a part.

It was a moment free of worry, false pretenses, fear…everything but love.

On the way home, Drei asked, “Are you ready for tomorrow?”

I gazed up at him, unsure how to answer. No matter what, every time I thought about Caroline, or Ian, or the whole faction, I couldn’t shake the feeling something was going to happen. Something was going to ruin what I had with Drei, whether directly or not.

“I don’t know,” I said after a while.

“I will be there with you, every step of the way.” He took my hand in his, stopping to kiss my fingers. His eyes were serious and a darker amethyst than usual. He was right; he would be there. Drei would be at my side so long as I needed him; tomorrow I needed him, more than I had in a long time.

“So long as you’re with me, I’ll be fine.”

Another thought occurred to me as we reached the apartment, though: what if what was going to happen would transpire not because of someone else, but because of Drei?

Elemental: Chapter Twelve, Part 4

We sat on the couch, the fire dancing until it died down, diminishing into a pale spiral of smoke. Drei held me, my arms wrapped around his waist, and we didn’t need to say anything. Words would have ruined the understanding existing between us.

As the sky outside lightened—a misty gray with hints of indigo—Drei sat a small box on my knee.

“It was intended for Christmas,” he explained softly. “I was uncertain how Nick would have reacted.”

“Thank you,” I said, remembering how I had been grateful when no second mystery gift appeared while Nick still questioned everything.

“I believe it is more fitting as a birthday gift. It is Valentine’s Day.”

It hadn’t occurred to me my birthday was here. The last weeks had been such a whirlwind of information, travel, and emotions, I had lost track of the days except in reference to each other. But if he said it was Valentine’s Day, I was probably the worst person to contradict him.

Opening the box, I found a golden centipede bracelet with chalcedony insets, a match to the angel necklace he had gifted me before.

“Drei,” I gasped, facing him and his contented smile. “It’s gorgeous.”

“It is no match for you,” Drei said softly. He kissed my forehead. “You have grown beautifully this past year.”

“You aren’t just saying that because I finally realized I had what I wanted in front of me all along?” I asked, slightly concerned my words weren’t as specific as I had intended.

He laughed. “The end is not something to judge growth on,” he reasoned. “It is the journey you examine to find the character revealed. Your character is bright and heartwarming.”

“Now you’re just flattering me,” I said. He meant every word though I couldn’t fathom how considering the messes I’d made.

Drei stood, gently pulling me to my feet, smoothing my hair back. His slightly warm hand rested a breath longer on my neck than necessary—not that I was complaining. “You need sleep,” he said before removing his hand. “Valetta and Mitchell have planned a special party for you; do not tell them I spoiled the surprise.”

“Drei,” I joked, lightly hitting him.

The space between us was so awkward in the silence that followed, it was hard to believe we had ever been apart. Being close to him felt natural. From the happiness and longing radiating about him, I knew he felt the same.

“I’d better get some sleep,” I said, moving to leave, only to be stopped as he enveloped me in his arms again.

I didn’t want him to let go; I didn’t want myself to let go. But the door opened behind us and we sprang apart, worried at being caught so soon in our revelation.

It was only Mitchell. If he could have blushed, I imagined he would have; he quickly turned his back to us as though knowing he had interrupted something important. Drei sneaked a kiss to my cheek, then whispered to have sweet dreams. I didn’t need to admit they would be sweet without the worry of destroying an existing relationship. They would be sweet because I wouldn’t wake up feeling guilty.

As I shrugged into my coat, Mitchell smiled approvingly, saying, “It took you long enough.”

“But I got there,” I replied, pleased when he nodded, smirking.

“You are learning…and on your own.”

I felt like I was walking on air—which may not have been an exaggeration. It had all fallen into place after all. I still had questions, but there was time. And with Drei’s love in my heart, I felt like there was nothing—not even the unknown challenges ahead—I couldn’t face.

End Book One

Elemental: Chapter Eleven, Part 5

Valetta and I discussed many things over the weeks of travel. Not just dream lives and randomness. We discussed her previous life, and mine, exploring our differences until it seemed we had known each other forever.

She had been born to a nouveau riche family—they previously hadn’t been extremely poor, but even with their newfound wealth, they weren’t in the same class as the lords and ladies. Her parents had expected her to jettison them to the next level, and provided whatever they felt was needed. They desired a progressive man in hopes he would be more open to marrying a nouveau riche maiden than the more conservative families. When she was old enough to court, suitors came and left. It wasn’t her fault; they weren’t prepared for someone like her, so well rounded and confident. But she didn’t know that then. She felt she had failed her family and—when the suitors stopped appearing—Valetta cried herself to sleep. Her parents’ relationship spoiled and her mother ended up murdering her father, insisting the devil possessed him. Her mother was imprisoned and Valetta was left in the care of family, her fortune then her uncle’s. Shortly after that, the house was attacked by vampires. They killed everyone in the house—all of her cousins, uncle, aunt, and her uncle’s mistress—except for her.

“I sat waiting in my room, the raucous they had stirred downstairs woke me. It may sound strange, but I was not afraid of them. For me, it was an opportunity to be embraced, not turned away,” she explained, and I knew what she meant, having felt the same not long ago. “When he came in, his eyes red and luminescent, I could not help but stare. As he approached, I opened my arms to him, and asked him to take me, to end my pain.” Valetta’s eyes filled with tears at the memory. She swallowed them back, pushing on; “He circled, and I questioned why he hesitated. It was a moment before his eyes dulled to a pale orange; he inquired why I would not scream or cry. For emphasis, he lurched forward, fangs bared, eyes flaring red, hissing at me. When I did not flinch, he questioned if I wanted to be born again. I did not realize he meant become one of them. All I knew was the life I had worked for failed, and I was out of options. I would not receive my family’s fortune. I would not marry any man who would change me. I was trapped by expectations dooming me for misery.”

“What made you decide?” I questioned.

Her dark eyes swept toward me, longing for understanding. “Hope.”

In her eyes I could see the scene playing out, in all of its magnanimous tragedy.

Her dark hair flowed around her, billowing gently in the breeze admitted from the opened window; she wore a white nightgown, surrounded by dark sheets and pillows. Her stalker stood, entangled in the white curtains, clad consummately in black. As she stared at him—waiting for him to give her rebirth—he stood, ensuring she meant what she said.

He lunged forward, a hand jerking her head to the side, the other wrapping her arm in a death grip. Her eyes expanded as his teeth sank in, but then she closed them, relaxing in his arms, trusting him to deliver her to something better. Shortly after she went limp, he pulled away and swept her into his arms, leaving.

“Is it what you hoped for?” I asked, softly, unsure if I should be happy for her or sad.

Valetta took a moment to recover her senses. “It is not what I thought he offered, but it has allowed me to meet many incredible people, and to see none of my life was my fault. I played my role dutifully—always the obedient daughter. Their deaths, her imprisonment, my lack of a steady suitor—I was helpless to control it. If he had never given me this choice, I never would have come to realize this. I never would have met Drei, or made your acquaintance.” A soft smile lit her features as she added, “I felt betrayed the first hundred years, but now I see what a gift this can be. You just have to be willing to embrace the positive and allow the negative to fall by the wayside.”

Silence followed afterwards, and, as I let her memory replay in my mind; I felt tears start to roll down my cheeks. Her pain alone was enough to make me forget any of my own.

“Do not cry for me,” Valetta said, watching as I wiped away some of the tears, “because I do not cry for myself.”

“But you do cry,” I said, certain I hadn’t imagined the tears that had filled her eyes.

“Not for myself,” she insisted. “I cry for the people helpless to change their situations, and unaware it may not be their fault. After all, I am the lucky one.”

For her to have gone through so much seemed incredible, and I wondered how she managed to survive it all. How had she held out? But I couldn’t ask. It would seem too much like asking what my future was, or what someone had wished. She had figured it out on her own. Now it was my turn. Even if I wasn’t sure where to begin.

“Drei helped me,” Valetta said softly. “If you speak with him, he could help you as well. It would make a good start.”

“How do you do that?” I asked, hating how both of them always seemed know what I was thinking.

“When you wish to know something deeply enough,” she said, smiling, “you send it out without realizing it. Drei and I learned long ago—from Gloria, mostly—how to read those signals.”

I nodded; it made enough sense for me, considering two years ago I believed vampires belonged in the fiction aisle. Mostly, I figured any further explanation would wind up more confusing.

“It is time.” She was right. There was only so long I could avoid speaking with Drei, and there would probably never be a good time.

Elemental: Chapter Ten, Part 6

I woke up in my bed, buried beneath several comforters, alone again. Nothing in me felt like moving, eating, or anything. Everything still came to me, despite the light tapping on my window. I couldn’t even question why that was; I started to, and then the words flew away.

Nick stopped by, an apology planned. I didn’t roll over to face him; I knew he had already reported the camp; it was either that or be imprisoned with the rest of us since they had likely avoided interfering as long as we were oblivious. He relented sputtering when I didn’t move or say anything.

Drei’s voice drifted to me from wherever he was, disconnected and nonchalant. He never mentioned my name, and avoided any questions concerning me. He was always in a meeting, too, discussing how to save the others, and what to do about Nick. His ignorance of my existence may have deeply scarred me if I could care; but nothing mattered anymore. It was better for everyone if I just stayed away and kept out of things.

It might have been hours or days I laid there; time didn't seem to move in its conventional way, or perhaps I had merely lost my ability to pin it down. I was unable to ignore anyone, listening to everything around me, whether it meant something or not. Nick came in at some point, though, and freaked. I didn’t look to see what he was freaking about, but I knew he went straight to Drei. I tried to direct my listening to other conversations, not wanting their argument to take precedence.

The next moment, it seemed, Drei was at my side, kneeling.

“Abriel,” he whispered, fraught.

I sat up, turning to face him. “Yes?” I questioned, my voice devoid of emotion. That was another thing I didn’t seem capable of holding onto for long.

Drei reached for my hand, taking it in his and kissing it. “You…the air is consuming you,” he managed, his voice unsure.

“I’m fine…Drei?” I was just beginning to realize the worry. He couldn’t see me. I sat half inside my body; its visage was pale, the blue-gray eyes cold and unseeing. My chest barely moved with breath. “What’s happening?” I was not yet panicking, but slightly interested in this translucent state.

“Abriel,” Drei whispered, ensuring Nick—standing in the doorway—couldn’t hear. “Your body will die, though, essentially, you will not; your soul will become a part of the air.” As he spoke—the words difficult for him to muster—I couldn’t help but consider how peaceful that sounded. The air gives life to everything, sees everywhere, and, though sometimes destructive, essential for so many aspects of livelihood. Few people blamed the air for wrongdoing; it was opposite me in nearly every way it seemed. “If you do not wish for that to happen,” Drei continued, “then you have to use what control you yet possess and pull yourself back into your body, but—but you must do it quickly.”

I listened to the instructions, because I always listened to him. But I didn’t want to go back. What did I even have to go back to? He wasn’t upset with me only because I was in this situation, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t still hate me. It made more sense for me to let this run its course. Maybe I would finally have my wish granted and find some long-lived happiness; maybe they would both find some peace.

Nick wasn’t crying, but he wasn’t the kind to let his emotions overcome him—not these kinds of emotions anyway. When I turned to gaze down at Drei, I felt my heart beat again. Tears streamed down his ashen cheeks, his eyes an amethyst so pale, they were nearly white. He didn’t make any sound, but he clutched my hand as if it were his only lifeline.

Those tears were the deciding factor. I had never known Drei to cry, and something about what Valetta had said earlier echoed in my mind: I had fought for Nick because I wanted him to stay. Now it was time to do something that wasn’t for me, even if it meant forfeiting something that sounded so ideal.

It took a few minutes, but with enough convincing and a touch of stitching, I settled back into my body, warmth flooding me, blood pulsing at a steady rate, and the sounds outside my room dissipating into nothingness. Drei’s hand still held mine tight, but flew away the moment I began to sit up.

My mind raced between my possible reactions, finally deciding to still be wary of his temper.

“It won’t happen again,” I promised.

I lay back down, drowsy, ignoring Nick and Drei. They had gotten on well enough without me the last few days. I didn’t want to be in anyone’s way.

Besides, it left me time to ponder what else was coming. Jake had been right; loving Nick had almost cost me my life. Not because of anyone else, but because of myself. What was yet to come, I couldn’t fathom. It all seemed dark and helpless from there. I had very possibly passed up my one chance to do something useful.

Elemental: Chapter Nine, Part 4

Halloween sprang upon us like a black cat possessed. The kids were ecstatic with the annual party the vampires threw for them: costumes, candy, apples, and haunted house included. I reveled in watching Nick jump at a murderer popping from behind a wall or Freddie laughing eerily through a cardboard boiler room. He complained it wasn’t fair I knew what was coming and didn’t share. I thought it was plenty fair, telling him so before he’d kiss me to stop the words. I wonder if he realized that was just more incentive.

After the children slipped into whatever dreams awaited them, Nick and I slipped away into the forest, determined to explore new, unoccupied haunts.

“Nick?” I called out, losing sight of him among the trees. He had been there one moment and not the next.

When he didn’t reappear, smiling to assure me he wasn’t far off, I continued on in the direction in which I last saw him go. The branches bounced harmlessly away from me, almost as though they were leading me. To what, I wasn’t sure.

Opening up my senses—easy now as I had been practicing—I could hear someone just ahead. I froze when voices drifted through the greenery.

“—have tried, Valetta,” Drei’s voice sang out, distressed. “Every day and there is no chance.”

“Stop trying so hard, Drei,” Valetta scolded, and I wondered what exactly was so taxing.

“It is not as easy as you make it out to be. There are times and places for these things,” Drei asserted, and I realized he was losing this disagreement. Already his voice had a defensive edge to it.

“Do yourself a favor, Drei, and stop thinking through every little thing,” she whispered harshly. I couldn’t remember a time she had ever been so angry, especially with Drei. “Just say it already.”

“I—”

“If he asked her to leave tonight, she would be gone forever and you would be more miserable than you are now. Is that what you want?”

“Leave, Valetta,” Drei sneered. “You have no right to bother me here.”

“Oh, right; it is your garden. Your secret place that was supposed to help you remove the hate and fear in your—”

“Go!” Drei barked, his voice cracking.

I ran, terrified and curious and ashamed. Valetta had said no one stood up to Drei, but there she was doing just that. And what was wrong with Drei? On top of that, why hadn’t I thought about whose garden it was? I mean, it should have been obvious as it smelled just like him. No wonder he was so livid that night. We had disturbed him where he was supposed to have peace, or semblance of it.

“Hey,” Nick said as I plowed into him, both of us tumbling to the ground. “Where are you going so fast?”

“Trying to find you,” I lied, but feeling somewhat better now that he was by me. “Don’t lose me again.” I hit his chest lightly with the back of my fingers.

“Not a chance.” He helped me up but didn’t let go of my hand. “Come on. I’ve found a place even better than the garden.”

A few minutes later he turned to me. “It’s right past those pine trees.”

“You want me to go first?”

“Not afraid are you?” His eyes gleamed in the dark.

“It’s not some steep cliff you want me to step off of, is it?”

“You aren’t that lucky.”

“I guess I’ll just have to trust you,” I said, starting away cautiously. Just beyond I could hear running water and the excited buzz of lightening bugs.

“Go on,” he encouraged, a pace behind me. “If a cliff has managed to appear, I’ll catch you.”

Pushing aside the tree limbs, I saw what he had meant. Though I wasn’t so tickled about the babbling brook—now that I knew what water meant for me—it fit gorgeously in with the open field. I imagined deer running through with their fawns during summer and perhaps cubs frolicking in springtime. I doubted there were any bears or deer around though. I hadn’t seen any in the year I had been there, but you never know.

“Knew it,” Nick said, standing beside me again. “You watch too many chick flicks and now you can’t help but love scenery like this.”

“What’s wrong with that? You are the one who keeps bringing me to these places.”

“If I had known…” He shook his head, wearing that crooked smile of his.

“But see, you did,” I teased, smiling and tapping a finger against the center of his chest.

“There’s an amazing view tonight,” Nick said, changing the subject as he pulled me closer to the brook. “The moon is beautiful;” he stopped and wrapped his arms around me.

“It is;” my arms wound their way around Nick, my head resting on his shoulder. I wondered if Drei was also watching the moon. “A shooting star,” I whispered, following the streak through the sky.

“Make a wish.”

Closing my eyes, I made my wish, praying it would come true.

“What did you wish for?” I questioned without thinking.

“Even I know not to ask that,” Nick said, laughing. His jade eyes glowed as he looked down at me. “You’re beautiful.”

“You always tell me that;” I rested my head on his shoulder again, not wanting to kiss him. I couldn’t explain why, but I didn’t feel like we needed to.

“Abriel,” he gasped, my name barely even a breath.

“Yes?”

“I thought I saw a witch fly by the moon,” he said slowly, as if he was unsure of what he had seen and second guessed himself as he spoke.

“Do you really believe in those tales?”

He smiled down at me, a secret in his eyes. I knew he did, and I half-heartedly believed it as well. It was hard not to believe in a bit of all of that after so much had happened. But lesson one with Nick: never pass up an opportunity to tease. It always kept things interesting and humorous.

“Maybe one day you’ll fly across the moon and blow a kiss down to me,” he suggested, breezing past my remark. “Or you could take me with you.”

“I’ll never fly,” I told him, shaking my head. If only he knew…but I couldn’t just tell him. I didn’t know if he would tell someone else, or even how he would react. “You have to have a light heart to fly,” I reasoned, ignoring his questions as to what I meant. That answer was just too complex.

Elemental: Chapter Eight, Part 4

How could everyone be happy? Like we used to be? Drei would be overwhelmed if Nick left this minute. He’d behave as though Nick had never been here; but then Nick and I would be depressed. There was something about Nick I needed, and was it so wrong to feel needed in return? If I left with him, would Drei still be happy? Would I be at peace? Or would missing Drei overshadow any hope at serenity?

The scenarios played through my mind, each ending with someone hurt. It didn’t seem there was a way to keep everyone happy. Though I needed to decide something, I didn’t know how to make it up to Drei or Nick, or even make myself feel better.

Late in the afternoon, while Nick was playing kickball with the children, I watched Drei call him aside. Curious, I brought their conversation to me, my heart breaking even more.

“Where is Abriel?” Drei demanded, his voice low and violent.

“She’s taking some time off,” Nick responded carefully, not giving in to his fear of Drei, but not fighting…yet. “She needs time to think or something.”

“What did you do?” I watched him grab Nick’s shirt with one hand and shake him threateningly.

“What did I do? What about you?”

“Do not speak to me that way!” Drei growled, lifting Nick off the ground. Nick grabbed Drei’s wrist to support himself. “This is your fault; if you had never come she would have been perfectly fine.”

“Since I came she’s had someone who’s there for her, unlike the way you were treating her.”

Just as Drei wound up a fist to pummel Nick, I forced them apart, a blanket of air catching Nick before he hit the ground and Drei before he lost his balance. Both of them looked around as if expecting to see me; when they didn’t, they went off on each other again, this time keeping their distance.

Their argument made me resolve to figure out something, anything. Continuing on like this would ruin the entire camp, and over something as little as with whom I wanted to spend time. I couldn’t let that happen and be my fault; I didn’t want to destroy everything.

But I couldn’t stop anything if I was unable to decide on a course of action.

Elemental: Chapter Seven, Part 5

I had left after the other lights flickered out in the cabins, not wanting to explain what I was doing or why. That’s spontaneity for you, never a rhyme or reason, but it always feels so right in the moment. It was the moment after the action you had to watch out for.

Nick called out when he arrived in the chaotically tranquil garden. I sat up from the patch of grass where I had been stargazing, supposing he had waited for Mikael to fall asleep before chancing to leave.

“What are you doing?” he questioned, lying beside me.

“Aren’t the stars beautiful?” The black and white of the sky was bordered by curious leaves; they were either questioning what was going to happen, or what the heavens looked like close up. I doubted it would look more lovely than it did now.

“My dad used to teach me to read constellations, but I never really took an interest.” He shrugged beside me, his arm brushing against mine, surprisingly warm. Or perhaps I just hadn’t realized how chilly it was.

“My dad and I never did anything over our last several years together; he was busy working and staying away from my mother.”

“What are you thinking about?” Nick inquired, shifting to his side, rushing past my sorry statement. He didn’t change the subject in a way that suggested he was disinterested, but in a way so as to lighten the mood. The jade eyes burned into me and I again felt he could see past the skin and bones to something more. It frightened me. Mostly because I couldn’t be sure what he saw.

“Everything,” I said instead of talking about how much this smell reminded me of Drei and all the circumstances in which I’d inhaled it. “Anything.” I avoided admitting I missed Drei, even if I was the one pushing him away. “And nothing.” I shoved away the confession that, as much as I liked him, I wished he was Drei.

“That’s quite a boat load,” he replied.

I didn’t say anything, just rolled onto my side to face him, going over again how he was different from Drei, and what it was about Nick I liked. What it was that made him mysterious and easygoing.

“You’re beautiful,” Nick said, his shaggy hair pushed up by his palm.

Before I could think of a response, his lips were on mine and I felt alive. Not like breathing alive. I was fully aware of everything around us: the whistling breeze, the flowers sighing in sleep, the stars twinkling in an undecipherable code…everything.

My heart raced and my brain tried to find something to ground me. I pushed him away, just so our noses barely touched.

“This isn’t going anywhere,” I warned, praying he’d understand what my lack of words seemed to say in my own mind.

“I wouldn’t dream of taking it anywhere,” he whispered before his lips found mine, and the breathless feeling of life—real life—filled me again.

In that moment, I forgot about my feelings for Drei. All thoughts ceased to pass through my mind except for one: now I knew what the leaves had been waiting for.

Elemental: Chapter Seven, Part 4

Nick disappeared for a couple of days. He hadn’t left the camp because he was always there for breakfast and supper; he just wasn’t around the rest of the day. When I asked one night where he was running off to, he replied it was a secret. And, of course, I was too stubborn to admit I missed his company or to provide any decent answer as to why he should cease running off. I wanted to tell him to stop going away and just talk with me, like we had been doing, or join in the game du jour. But my lips refused to emit words.

The fourth day into his disappearing act, Nick scared me half to death, sneaking up behind me and shouting, “Boo,” in my ear. He fell over laughing, his hair mussed and a grass stain on the knee of his jeans.

“Don’t do that again,” I commanded, a hand still covering my poor heart, my pulse slowly returning to normal.

Nick sat up, laughter still playing behind his eyes; “Sorry, I just couldn’t resist.”

A few of the children were watching us, expecting some kind of trouble that distracted them from the game.

“You’re back early today,” I stated, trying not to be angry with him still.

He waved a hand dismissively at Mikael, Kora, Derek, and Xenia, who had begun the climb towards us. Nick smiled as extra assurance that everything was well, and they ran to join back in the chaos of a game I didn’t know the rules for.

“I want you to come with me,” he said in response to my earlier statement. “You’ll love what I’ve found.”

“Not today,” I replied, indicating with a tilt of my head the reason before us. “I don’t abandon responsibility for just anything.”

“It isn’t just anything;” he smirked secretively. From behind his ear he pulled a small blossom of lilac. “I don’t have the fancy tricks of flying flowers or anything,” he admitted, taking one of my hands and setting the bloom in my palm, “but there’s more where that came from if you come with me.”

“Not today.” I was intrigued by the lilac, though. Part of me wanted to go, but I was still holding out against him.

Our conversation repeated in a similar fashion over the next week. Different blooms were pushed into my palm with a plea to join him, that the children were fine without me. But I declined, later to add the bloom to a bowl of water in my room, the petals floating elegantly as they slowly wilted.

The eighth day he asked, I agreed.

“I’ll go if you watch over them for a week; I might need a break.” Being in charge of watching over them wasn’t eventful, but it was like watching a TV show or something. Interesting and mind numbing in the same instant. It didn’t require much work except for the occasional accident or conflict, and even those were few and far between because the older children were handling most of it lately.

 Nick pulled me to my feet, a puppy that finally receives his walk.

He never let go of my hand, half-pulling me along a path and through trees where the way wasn’t marked. It didn’t slow him, as though he saw landmarks I failed to see. When the trees thickened he treaded more carefully, pulling branches and tall grasses out of the way for me.

“You’ll love it,” he said, and I knew then exactly what we were coming up to. The flowers had been a hint, but the scent that hit me was undeniably familiar: the same blend of essences that seemed to follow Drei everywhere.

Though I was expecting something spectacular, I was nowhere near prepared for what I saw as we cleared the trees. The colors, the disorganization, the heavenly scent and sheer mass of flowers caused me to lose my breath. It was stunning, and, strange as it was, seemed to give me a sense of peace.

“I knew you’d love it,” Nick replied to my poorly hidden gaping jaw and wide eyes.

“It’s gorgeous,” I managed in a choked whisper.

He took my hand again, leading me carefully through the flowers so I could see which I recognized—mostly the common ones: lilacs, violets, bluebells—and touch those I didn’t. There were paths laced through the field, little more than the width of my foot. In the center was a grassy area, soft and lush, where Nick and I sat for a moment.

“How?”

“I was exploring those days I wasn’t around. And I just happened across here and knew you’d love it.”

“Is the path marked?”

“To here? Of course. Subtly, though. I haven’t figured out all of the symbols, but if you pretty much go in where we did and go straight, you’ll smell the flowers when you’re close.”

“So who marked it?”

Nick shrugged. “Does it matter?”

I shook my head, feeling warm in the sunlit area. It felt like summer here with the trees trapping heat and the flowers in full bloom, staring at us, wondering what would happen.

“We have to get back for dinner,” I said suddenly, not meeting Nick’s eyes, afraid I wouldn’t have the courage to leave them.

I stood up, dusting off my pants, and Nick led me back through the woods, a satisfied smile on his lips the entire way. It wasn’t until I noticed how much I looked at him, or how easily we made each other smile, or any number of other things we shared, I knew what I wanted to do next.

“Meet me there tonight?” I inquired, knowing how it must sound to him, hoping he didn’t take it the wrong way.

He stopped mid-step and faced me. “Really?” The time I hadn’t kissed him ran through his mind, a caution I might be stringing him along again.

“We can spend time together there, and don’t have to worry about anything else.”

“Or anyone else,” he added, expressing his own thoughts. I knew he meant Drei.

Though Drei hadn’t been around much, he disliked Nick and disapproved of my spending time with him—Valetta’s words, not mine. While his fears were rational, I wasn’t too worried and I hoped he would stop worrying as much as I knew he was.

“So?” I pressed, needing a definite answer. No way was I sitting around all night for someone who wasn’t coming. Then again, I would have deserved it. At least the first time, anyway.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he replied, grinning crookedly.