How could everyone be happy? Like we
used to be? Drei would be overwhelmed if Nick left this minute. He’d behave as though
Nick had never been here; but then Nick and I would be depressed. There was something
about Nick I needed, and was it so wrong to feel needed in return? If I left
with him, would Drei still be happy? Would I be at peace? Or would missing Drei
overshadow any hope at serenity?
The scenarios played through my mind,
each ending with someone hurt. It didn’t seem there was a way to keep everyone
happy. Though I needed to decide something, I didn’t know how to make it up to
Drei or Nick, or even make myself feel better.
Late in the afternoon, while Nick was
playing kickball with the children, I watched Drei call him aside. Curious, I
brought their conversation to me, my heart breaking even more.
“Where is Abriel?” Drei demanded, his
voice low and violent.
“She’s taking some time off,” Nick responded
carefully, not giving in to his fear of Drei, but not fighting…yet. “She needs
time to think or something.”
“What did you do?” I watched him grab
Nick’s shirt with one hand and shake him threateningly.
“What did I do? What about you?”
“Do not speak to me that way!” Drei
growled, lifting Nick off the ground. Nick grabbed Drei’s wrist to support
himself. “This is your fault; if you had never come she would have been
perfectly fine.”
“Since I came she’s had someone who’s
there for her, unlike the way you were treating her.”
Just as Drei wound up a fist to
pummel Nick, I forced them apart, a blanket of air catching Nick before he hit
the ground and Drei before he lost his balance. Both of them looked around as
if expecting to see me; when they didn’t, they went off on each other again,
this time keeping their distance.
Their argument made me resolve to
figure out something, anything. Continuing on like this would ruin the entire
camp, and over something as little as with whom I wanted to spend time. I
couldn’t let that happen and be my fault; I didn’t want to destroy everything.
But I couldn’t stop anything if I was
unable to decide on a course of action.
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