Eternal: Chapter Six, Part 8

“I need your help,” I said gently, knowing there would never be a good time. “My movement is starting soon; our first meeting is after everyone’s finals. I want you on my team, for everything you can bring.” As I explained, I watched him carefully, not wanting to risk losing him to his own suffering right now. “School will come first. The only relative downside is we have two years.”

Jake didn’t say anything, which worried me. Everyone had reacted to the two-year limit and he wasn’t even batting an eye at it.

“Are we taking them down?” he asked after a moment.

Nodding, I said, “That’s the general plan.”

“I’m in.”

We sat there for a long while, me wondering if I should ask if he needed anything else, him wallowing in his own thoughts.

“Will I ever forgive them?” he asked softly, gazing steadily at the river. “My family?”

Sitting back on my hands again, I gave the only answer I could think of: “You’ll know in time, though I’d like to think you’ll be able to.”

Nodding, he admitted, “I have another question.”

“Shoot.”

“Can we save her?”

I almost hated the way he was looking at me, as though all of his hopes and dreams depended on the next thing I said. Yet it seemed fitting, as I had done the same thing to Caroline a year and a half ago.

“We’ll do our best,” I promised, unable to give the affirmative. There were too many variables, and how he meant saved may not be the same as just freeing her from whatever facility in which she was kept. “Did you want me to do anything for you?”

Jake shook his head, exhaling heavily. “You’ve done so much for me already.”

“It wouldn’t take much for me to remove your pain,” I offered, wanting to do more. I wasn’t sure if leaving him in this condition was healthy.

“I need it,” he said, holding my gaze. “It’ll make me better.”

“If you don’t let it consume you.”

“I’ll handle it better this time around,” he promised, offering a small smile. That hint of youth hadn’t been an illusion after all. “Besides, I’ll be seeing more of you now, and you can keep me in check.”

Smiling back, I assured him I would. He then excused himself, heading back to campus and leaving me by the river, promising he’d be better when I saw him next.

I watched him leave, not moving quite yet. It amazed me how this had gone from being a general action that needed to be done, to being personal for so many people. Ian needed it to happen so he could make his own contribution. Xenia needed it so she could be herself. Kora needed it so she could live a normal life without having to keep secrets—though I wasn’t sure she realized that yet. Mikael needed it so he’d know no one else would have to go through what he went through. Caroline needed it because it was her goal. Jake needed it so he didn’t feel like it really was his fault. And I needed it because I’d know I didn’t relinquish my dreams in vain.

Two years was starting to look like the least of my worries.

Eternal: Chapter Six, Part 7

It wasn’t difficult to track down to where Jake had disappeared; he had left in a terrible mood with a unique mix of emotions trailing behind him: disappointment, anger, hatred, self-loathing, and a touch of sorrow. The trail he left traversed campus and through the park nearby, down to the river on the edge of the field just beyond the park. He wasn’t much better off than when he’d left; if anything, he had just started bottling it all up again.

“Jake?” I asked, standing a few feet from where he was sitting on the bank. He stiffened, keeping his back to me and curling into himself. “Could you talk to me? Like a person who isn’t being purely defensive?”

When he didn’t respond, I sat next to him and waited a moment. He wasn’t running, which was a good thing, but something was definitely wrong. All of his bitterness wasn’t from normal circumstances. Something over the past few years had changed him. Never could I have imagined him so cold and hard.

“What’s wrong?” I tried, wanting him to open up to me. He’d feel better if he did, I was sure of it.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, staring fixedly at the water as if it was going to give him the answers he wanted. I would have told him it wouldn’t if I had thought it might help. “I don’t even know you, Leirba.”

Leaning back on the heels of my palms, I sighed. True, he was being a pain, but it was also true he wasn’t necessarily himself. Besides, anger wasn’t going to help me with this; it would only worsen things. “You do know me, so don’t even pretend.”

“Then why are you going by a different name, Abriel?” His eyes met mine; the brightness I had seen before was just a trick of the light. They were dull and lifeless; I wondered if the hint of childishness in his smile had also been an illusion. It was difficult to tell anymore. “It’s sketchy.”

“Drei wants me to go by Leirba for now. It’s really long and complex and I’m not really supposed to talk about it,” I said, having to look away from him. I wanted him to trust me, but I couldn’t even give him sufficient reason to. “Now what changed you?”

“Why are you here?” he asked instead. “Why now? Why not before?”

“Before what?” I inquired, hoping he’d say something to let me pry further.

No such luck. “Before now.”

It amazed me I could even be talking to the same person from all those years ago. The others, I could still see them, who they had been beneath who they had become. But every trace of who Jake had been…it was like it had all been erased.

“Before now I’d been figuring things out. I’ve been learning about myself and my movement, and some other stuff—”

“That you can’t talk about,” he finished bitterly. I winced at the daggers in his voice. “Well, while you were off doing whatever it was that was more important,” he spat, facing me, his face red and splotchy, contorted in a nasty combination of heartache and fury, “I was shipped from relative to relative until I was dumped into foster care, and then shipped from family to family.”

I was speechless for a moment, my mind absent of any response. “What happened to your mom?” I asked, remembering how he had told me she’d sent him to the camp for his protection. In his relation of it, she had promised to be there when he returned to her.

“The fucking government happened!” he screamed, tears coursing down his cheeks as his bottled emotions spewed forth. I tried to clear them away as best I could while letting him still go through the sensations. He needed to; he needed to feel again. He’d been making himself numb for too long and it was alienating him. “By the time I got back they’d picked her up.  My dad blamed me for everything; said if I’d never been born she’d never have been caught. He told me get the fuck out before he killed me. So I went to my grandparents, who sent me to one relative to another and to another until the last one didn’t want me either. I was dropped in their fucking system!” he yelled, pulling his knees to his chest and running his hands through his hair. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to hide in their fucking system?”

I pulled him into my embrace, knowing it wasn’t the foster care system he was angry at; it wasn’t even me. He felt like his father had told him the truth. It was his fault; he was the only one to blame.

“Jake,” I whispered, cradling him in my arms, rubbing his back and trying to limit how much of his pain he had to go through. There was so much and it was still so raw, as if he had avoided feeling any of it before now. “It’s okay. You’re okay. It isn’t your fault.”

He pulled away from me, his bloodshot eyes revealing how unworthy of my help he felt he was. “But it—”

“Your mother loves you,” I told him sternly. “She told you that, and she meant it. Nothing changed that,” I said, taking his hands in mine. He stared at me blankly, unsure how to respond; he wanted to believe me, but he had also spent so much time believing he was to blame. What I said seemed only like a happy pipe dream. “Nothing changes her love for you. Okay?”

He nodded slightly, wiping away his tears.

Eternal: Chapter Six, Part 6

She grumbled and sat back. Jake didn’t look at her; he had unwound some but was still visibly tense. I couldn’t help myself; before I knew it I was chilling the air around him, circulating it in a way that was pulling his frustrations and hardness from him. He let himself become relaxed, sitting back and closing his eyes a moment before opening them and scanning the room. Though I had looked away, still working the air around him, I felt his eyes burn into me, trying to figure out what was happening.

“Jake,” Professor Rakins called, pulling his attention from me, “you’ve covered society. Now what about yourself? Where do you draw the line for forgiveness?”

He glanced up at me again before beginning to answer. “I think it depends on the offense. I can forgive someone breaking my heart, or emotionally hurting me with time. But I don’t think I could forgive someone who hurts the people I know, or even those I don’t, in a way that has lasting damage. I couldn’t forgive someone who forces me and others like me to live a certain lifestyle. It’s not possible. People shouldn’t have to live the way someone else chooses for them.”

“What if that someone is a person you love?” I asked, reminded of the decisions Drei had made for me, and the ones others had made for me my entire life.

“Someone who loves you would let you make your own choice,” he responded coldly. “They wouldn’t put you through pain like that. They wouldn’t endow themselves with the power to make your choices.”

“Your parents do,” a girl next to Natalie added.

“Spouses, too,” a boy next to her added. “People you love are always making decisions concerning you.”

“And they shouldn’t be forgiven for it,” he said forcibly, very near shouting.

“Even if that means deciding to put you through a surgery that might save your life?” the boy asked. When Jake didn’t repeal his answer, the boy stood up. “You’re messed up…a real piece of work.” And he left, the other girl and Natalie sharing a look before following him.

“Don’t forget the final,” Professor Rakins called after them before scanning the remaining people. “Miss, I don’t believe I know you,” he said, pointing to me. “It doesn’t matter, but give your name and your opinion on this.”

I regretted speaking earlier, it might have saved me having to debate against him. “Leirba,” I started, avoiding the hard stare Jake was giving me. He didn’t say anything to correct me, thankfully, but this wasn’t going to make things easier. “For me, I somewhat agree with Jake. It depends on the offense. I don’t know if I could forgive someone who murdered someone I knew, or tried to. But I can forgive the people I love. I can always find a reason to forgive someone I love,” I answered, meeting Jake’s gaze. “Yes, sometimes they make decisions for me I don’t agree with, but I love them, and I do so for a reason. And that reason is enough.”

“So what about them?” he questioned bitterly. Many of his peers started muttering to each other, trying to determine who “they” were—coming to many different conclusions—and how we knew each other. “Can you forgive them for everything they’ve done? For everything they continue to do?”

Swallowing, I had to think about it. I didn’t know off the top of my head. They—the government and the people working under it—had taken my mother, had tortured and scarred me, had practically imprisoned Nick—a former boyfriend and still good though absent friend of mine—and forced so many of us to live in constant fear of being found out. Exhaling slowly, feeling everyone’s eyes on me, I replied, “I don’t know. Maybe someday, I might be able to. But it won’t be any time soon.”

That sent him over. He looked to say something as he jumped up from his seat, glared at me a second, and then grabbed his bag and stormed from the classroom.

“From the sounds of it, I should be looking forward to the essays Tuesday,” Professor Rakins chuckled, trying to break the tension in the room. It wasn’t working. There was no chattering and most people couldn’t even look at one another. I hated it; I always hated feeling uneasy, especially when it wasn’t mine. “Well then,” he tried again, receiving no response. “Class dismissed. Remember: Tuesday, 12:30.”

The rest of the students, myself included, left the room; I felt rotten for not supporting Jake on that point, but I couldn’t help how I felt, and I honestly believed that someday, depending on how things worked out, I might be able to forgive them for their seriously misguided thinking and heinous actions. I hoped I would be able to do so. I would never forget their transgressions, but I didn’t want to hate them for the rest of my days.

Eternal: Chapter Six, Part 5

The ethics class Jake was enrolled in was filling up as I arrived. The classroom wasn’t huge—to be honest I was somewhat shocked. There were three rows of chairs in a semicircle around a chalkboard and a desk. From the chattering everyone was doing and the overall relaxed feeling in the room, I knew they weren’t taking a test and was grateful. A few people gave me questioning looks, shrugging it off a moment later. They had a right to be curious. I hadn’t been in this class, and I hadn’t been on this campus the last few months either; they had every right to question. I wasn’t concerned with any of them; the only person I was interested in was Jake, and I hadn’t seen him yet.

Jake walked in a minute to the bell, taking a seat on the middle row on the other side of the half circle. He hadn’t changed much other than he was taller and leaner. His hair was a shaggy gold and his eyes were a piercing blue, as though growing up had given him a harder edge. There was still a hint of youth in his smile, but it was small, hardly a glimmer. I wondered how much of that edge could be attributed to him having to hide. I couldn’t tell how much of the change was just physical either. For all I knew, he could be completely different.

The professor walked in, but the class didn’t quiet until he had settled onto the desk at the front of the room.

“Final on Tuesday next week. Twelve thirty. Be on time, or you won’t be allowed to retake it,” he began, immediately capturing everyone’s attention. “Today we’ll have another ethical debate. Two of the test questions will be essays asking you to argue a side on a major ethical debate applicable to today. They will also ask you to raise some points of an opposing perspective.” The instructor stood and divided a stack of papers into three, handing a stack to each person on the end of the row on my side. When the stack reached me, I passed it on, glimpsing over the sheet. I didn’t envy them this test.

Once the professor settled again, he said, “There are 15 possible issues up for debate. The only way to do well is to be prepared. Don’t expect to fly by the seat of your pants on this one. It won’t work.” The relaxed atmosphere of the room dissipated into tension as his students whispered to the people next to them, worriedly exchanging hopeful looks. “Today we’ll debate the issue of forgiveness. Where do we draw the line? As individuals? As a society?” he posed, leaning forward to grab a sheet from his desk. Reading, he continued, “How do we determine who to forgive and under what circumstances is it possible?” Tossing the paper back to the desk, he waited a moment as they started mulling it over. “Jake,” he called, scanning over the class, “begin.”

I watched him struggle to find the words to start his argument. There was almost too much to take into consideration with this one.

“Forgiveness is a commodity most often shown to those of petty offenses,” he began, slowly pulling together his thoughts into a clearer form. “Usually children or first time offenders of lesser laws. As a society, we aren’t so quick to forgive released convicted felons, murderers, or sexual offenders. But we’ll let rapists off for lack of evidence. We won’t convict a murderer on circumstantial evidence. Yet we’ll put a person caught peeing in public on an unforgiving list of sex offenders. We insist prisoners are ‘reformed’ but won’t give them a decent job; we can’t make people forgive them their wrongs and therefore are unable to allow them to live a decent life as a ‘reformed’ individual.

“So as a society, we don’t have a clear line of where forgiveness is. We’re more likely to forget than to forgive. Just as we won’t send the person who murdered in claimed self-defense to jail, and we’ll forget it happened eventually, but we won’t do the same for a person who murdered, admitted it, and shows remorse for the deed.”

“But if it’s in self-defense, it was kill or be killed,” a girl toward the center of his row argued. “A person is entitled to live.”

“And how do we know that it really was self-defense? It’s still murder,” he replied calmly. “No one can prove it really was self-defense, just like no one can really prove how sane a person is. But we forgive the claimed ‘insane’ as well, opting to pay for their institutional fees. And as soon as they’re deemed ‘sane,’ they either lose that forgiveness and are given a sentence, or they’re released once again on the world.”

“You’re attacking the institutions in place to protect us,” the girl continued. “They have to deal with hundreds of cases and maniacs and other people who would never dream of hurting another person. What do you want them to do?”

“I’m not attacking our institutions,” Jake insisted, remaining eerily calm and collected. “I’m pointing out that our institutions have a very inconsistent view of forgiveness, as does society in general.”

“But what else do you want them to do?” she fought, restraining herself. “They can’t look into every case and they certainly can’t solve everything. Unless you’re suggesting a Big Brother option where everyone is under constant surveillance;” she cocked her head to the side. “That would certainly solve the issue of who’s telling the truth or not.”

“Professor Rakins,” Jake asked, turning to the professor, “are we debating the issue as it is or how it should be?” His jaw was set tight and, though one of his hands was palm down on the table before him, he was shaking. I could see where he might have gained that hard edge. When you see things the way they are because you have to, it’s aggravating when others only think about how it could be worse.

The professor considered the girl and then Jake. “Natalie, he has a point. We are debating the issue as it is, not as it could be.”

Eternal: Chapter Six, Part 4

I was anxious to see Jake again. He had always been different from the others with this air of wisdom and patience; not just that, but he had this way of seeing more in a situation than most people might ever see. It was one of the reasons I wanted him on my team.

That he was in college now seemed appropriate enough, though it also seemed strange. Not strange in a bad way, but strange all the same. The last time I saw him was when he was 15 and leaving to return home; now he was 20, if I had kept track of my years properly.

Valetta had left an extra note in the folder saying she hadn’t spoken to him, but she had managed to find a copy of his schedule. I wouldn’t ask, despite my curiosity; I had accepted long ago that they had their ways of obtaining what they needed. If I didn’t ask, I didn’t have to know, and right now, I didn’t think I wanted to.

The campus clock tower struck noon; scanning the schedule, I headed toward the business and computer science building—with the help of a friendly student who was kind enough to ask if I was lost. I vainly wished I could have assured her I wasn’t, but what would have been the use? Other than to seem smarter and end up stranded anyway?

Walking through the campus, it started misting, and as hoods and umbrellas opened to keep the students dry, I was filled with envy. College had been something I’d been working towards. It had been my dream, my one salvation from the life I hated so much. It was going to free me, in more ways than it did for most people. For me, it was my chance to start over, to be who I wanted to be, do what I wanted to do—for the most part—and not ever have to look back. I had been doing so well; I had already applied and was well on my way…and then I had been screwed over by whatever plan of the universe was at work. When I had visited Kora, it didn’t feel like such a big deal. Probably because I was still so antsy about recruiting people I hadn’t seen in several years. Now I was nervous about this last one, and distractions were more than welcome. This environment, just being in it, was reminding me of everything I had planned for myself, and how every single one of those plans had been destroyed. Shattered. Picked up and tossed into a black hole.

I promised myself when this was over, I was going to work towards a degree; granted I wouldn’t be able to actually go to a university or anything, I could take online classes. It was a close second. Besides, even though I wasn’t happy about not having what I had wanted for myself, what I ended up with wasn’t so bad. There was Drei, all of my friends, and parts of myself I had figured out after all. It honestly could have been worse.

Eternal: Chapter Six, Part 3

“Why did you dye your hair?”

Shrugging, she replied, “I just wanted a change. You see so many people with blonde and brunette and others who try to pull off the red-head and—I just wanted to physically appear different. Since I am anyway…even if they can’t know that.”

“Understandable.”

“When you were in high school, did you ever just want to stand out?”

“I wanted to; I wanted to be on the outside who I felt I was on the inside, even before I knew who I really was,” I said, trying not to think too much on what things had been like, or how quickly they had changed for the worse. “But things were safer where I was…or so I thought.”

“Do you ever wish you could have changed? That you had risked a little and been who you wanted to be?” she pressed, her blue eyes widening.

“Some days I wish I had—that I hadn’t been so scared of…what it would have meant to be my own person. Because having to be my own person on someone else’s terms was not easy. Not that it would have been easy on my terms, but it would have been my choice then.” My gaze settled on my clasped hands in my lap; her questions were bringing to the surface many emotional memories I had been avoiding. Although I could blow off her questions, I didn’t want to. If I could give her my truth, perhaps it would help her find her own. “Other days, I’m somewhat grateful for my cowardice, because I honestly could not imagine if things would have been better the other way. I can only see them ending up worse in my situation.”

Again, silence seemed to fill the space between us and I hated sounding like such a damper. My situation was different from hers. I thought it was great for her to express she was different in a way that would draw attention but not from the wrong people. I personally couldn’t guarantee that if I had made the same decision to be different, my actions wouldn’t have drawn the wrong attention. She had the advantage overall; she could handle herself, and she had already learned to deal with and accept having an elemental power. At her age, I was just discovering mine.

“I think what you’re doing is great,” I finally said, unable to stand the silence. “It’s good to be able to express yourself in ways that don’t endanger you. Drei and the rest would be really proud of you.” I smiled at her.

“You, too?” she asked, glancing at me before diverting her eyes sheepishly.

I couldn’t help but smile; I would never have kids but it felt like they had been mine, especially that first year. I was their temporary mom, their older sister, their liaison to the occasionally unfriendly and intimidating vampires. That was me. “Of course. I’m proud of you. I’m proud of all of you.”

Xenia hugged me, and I hugged her back. She had grown up well over the past couple years and I really was proud of her. Instead of taking out whatever angst she may or may not have had by doing something stupid, she was being smart about it, even if it never felt like enough. It was refreshing for me because it proved to me why I was doing this.

“It was really good to see you again,” she said, pulling back.

“We’ll be in touch. But I shouldn’t keep you any longer from your friends.”

“Talk to you soon, Leirba.” At my pleased but shocked look, she added, “Yeah, Valetta told me about that, too. It’s different. Pretty…but different.” Then she was off to the boutique.

I sat for a while longer, just wondering how many other elementals felt as trapped as I had and she did, and how many were capable of breaking out in some small way like Xenia had. It hadn’t occurred to me until then how many there might be. I mean, I had felt trapped, but I was more worried with fitting in than standing out and fulfilling my own need to be myself. But hearing her put it that way, seeing the way she was settling to handle it, gave me even more motivation—if that was even possible—to succeed. If I could, no elemental would ever have to settle for being less than who they were again.

Eternal: Chapter Six, Part 2

Xenia was next on my list, not because I couldn’t find Jake first but because I wanted to save Jake for last. I knew there was probably going to be more for us to talk about; I would like to think I wasn’t avoiding the inevitable, but giving myself more time to prepare for it. I knew the likelihood of that being true was slim to none.

Valetta had found Xenia’s home, school, and even managed to find out her plans for the weekend—which involved some shopping, a movie, and dinner with friends. It was easier for Valetta because she hadn’t changed at all from when they had last seen her, but it was no use being bitter. I would have to figure out how I would talk to her alone and avoid keeping her from her plans for too long.

I sat in the middle of the mall, watching people pass for a while, wondering why I wasn’t seeing her anywhere. Then a group of giggling girls walked past and Xenia’s name was mentioned. There wasn’t a single blonde in the group, though. All of them had either dyed their hair blue or green, except for one girl who had chosen purple.

“I seriously did it;” the purple haired girl laughed, and I knew it was Xenia. Her looks may have changed, but her voice hadn’t—not much anyway. “I was not going out with him. He thinks we dyed our hair to make a statement about society and stickin’ it to the man.”

“But that’s not it at all;” one of her blue haired companions giggled.

“Exactly.”

Xenia whipped her head around for a moment in my direction before turning to her friends. “I’ll meet up with you at the boutique. There’s someone I have to see real quick.”

Her friends agreed and continued on as if this wasn’t unusual for her to be running off for a moment; she watched them for a short while. When they had all done their peeking over their shoulders and were back to laughing and gossiping, she turned around and took a seat next to me.

“She wasn’t kidding when she said you’d look different;” she crossed her legs at the knees, resting her chin on her hand.

“So she told you I was coming?” I asked, turning to face her.

“Of course she did. How else do you think she knew what I was doing today?”

“Makes sense;” I nodded slightly. “Did she tell you what I was coming to talk about?”

She shook her head, the purple locks escaping over her shoulder; she pushed them back behind her ear. “Valetta said she’d leave that for you.”

I debated whether to jump straight to business or not. I didn’t care to, but at the same time, she had already segued into it. But I wanted so much to ask about her hair. It had been a beautiful gold color and now, though still beautiful, it was purple. I was curious as to what prompted the change, especially since it wasn’t just her that had changed.

Then I remembered she was here with friends and my goal wasn’t to monopolize her time. If I had time at the end I’d ask, but she had already cut to the chase.

“I’m beginning my movement soon,” I started, deciding to just put it all on the table and see what she’d make of it. “Right now I’m recruiting everyone, yourself included. Don’t feel like you have to say yes; you don’t. It shouldn’t interfere with school, but you’d mostly be there for opinions and other kinds of input. The only downside is we have two years.”

Xenia nodded slowly, sitting back and crossing her arms, her eyes downcast as she contemplated my words. “Two years, is it?”

“It’s all I can guarantee.”

“And I’m guessing you’re going to say what this movement is about when everyone is together?”

“Of course. As soon as the school year is done for everyone.” I studied her carefully. If she didn’t say yes, I didn’t know who else I would choose. I had my mind set on her helping, but I’d ultimately have to respect her decision.

“I like the sound of a challenge,” Xenia said after a moment. “I don’t get enough of one as is, and it’ll be kind of fun to see some of the others again.”

“You don’t have any concerns?” I didn’t want to leave her with questions if I could help it—other than the main one, that is.

“Nope. It’s straightforward enough. I’m kind of looking forward to it,” she said, nodding her head, sitting forward on her hands.

Silence enveloped us despite the hustle and bustle of the crowds. It wasn’t long before I couldn’t help but ask—I knew if I didn’t soon she would excuse herself.

Eternal: Chapter Six, Part 1

Chapter Six: Turbulent Seas

As I had hoped, Valetta had returned before me.  She gave me all of her information the moment I walked into the apartment.  Mitchell then explained he, Caroline, and Ian had developed a workable timetable but needed direction on how to proceed.

“I’ll get to that in a moment,” I said, glancing over the papers Valetta had handed me before taking the papers Mitchell was offering and skimming over those.  “This should work fine,” I said, nodding.  “Where’s Drei?”  He wasn’t in the room with everyone else.

Valetta, Mitchell, Caroline, and Ian all exchanged looks. “You…he left again,” Valetta replied slowly, almost as if she wished it wasn’t the truth.  “He said he will have returned by the time you finish recruiting.”

It wasn’t what I wanted to hear; I breathed deeply, closing my eyes for a moment. I could deal with the disappointment later. Right now, I had somewhere to be, something to do.

Walking into the living room, I sat the papers down on the coffee table; the others joined me, silently awaiting my instruction.  I couldn’t help smiling; I understood why Caroline loved being in charge so much.  It might be stressful and time consuming, but it was very empowering knowing everyone was hanging on your every word.

“I’m not going to do hack broadcasts,” I said.  “I might work with those later on, but to start, I want a few commercials and a website.”

“What kind of commercials?” Caroline asked, grinning mischievously.

“Not what you’re thinking,” I told her, smiling.  “I want them to be artistic and to introduce the idea of elementals.  The website will go into more detail about our cause.”

“Any ideas for a slogan?” Ian inquired, grabbing a drawing pad out of his bag and flipping it open.

Thinking for a moment, I remembered what Drei had once told me about the only reason the government would be after us.  “Miracles still exist.”

Ian gazed at me a moment before writing it down and starting to sketch.  “I like it.”

“I’m glad.  Caroline, could you buy the server space and domain name for the website?”

“Sure, but I’m not so tech savvy as to know how to set up a webpage.”

“Don’t worry about that,” I said, sitting up.  “You can all work together on that, or anything else.”

“There does not seem to be much to work on, Abriel,” Mitchell said, his hands in his pocket as he regarded me carefully.  “You have not given us enough information for there to be sufficient work.”

“You have enough information to work on concepts.  The execution will be taken care of…”  My eyes scanned over the timetable before me.  “…starting in two weeks.  School will even be out then.”  I studied the timetable a little longer, nodding my head.  “Yeah, that’ll work.  Now, I have to be going.”

If there were further questions, they went unasked. Though that could have been due to a brisk exit on my part. Drei wasn’t there, so I didn’t want to spend time distracted by his absence when I had work to do.

Vampiric: Chapter Six, Part 7

More time passed, and more wounds crisscrossed my arms. At first, I had tried to block his slicing, but it was taking far more energy than I had thought possible. I couldn't sleep at all; who knew what else they might try. Despite knowing I couldn't last much longer, I still tried to avoid the knife; each time, though, it was easier for him to slice through any attempt I made against it.

“That was the longest spike we've had,” the feminine voice said.

“Good. Then we'll go a—”

Screams erupted from the darkness, cutting the man off. He stared off in the direction they came from as though trying to find the source of disturbance. The air seemed to fill with a floral scent. Then a black figure stepped partially into the light, its long coat brushing the toes of its polished shoes.

“Step away from her,” its low voice growled, dangerous and threatening. My heart fluttered in my chest—weary, excited, relieved, and so many other things simultaneously.

The man ran toward Drei, the knife out ahead so as to stab him. I knew he didn't stand a chance; I'd seen Drei take out two armed thugs before. The man went flying, crashing painfully into what sounded like a good deal of metal; his knife fell at Drei's feet, harmless.

“Drei,” I whispered as he appeared at my side, undoing the straps holding me and pulling away the sensors.

His hands touched my face, ensuring I wasn’t some illusion before his forehead met mine. I reached my hands up to cover his, afraid to believe he was real. I would have squeezed his hands if my arms hadn't felt so weak.

“Thank God.” He kissed my forehead and inspected the rest of me, his eyes catching on the wounds and various states of dried and wet blood running across my arms.

“What did they do to you?” he queried softly, a hand lightly brushing over my wounds before pulling me into him.

All of the tears I had held at bay while that madman cut me burst forth. I knew we had to be going, but I couldn't move. He had come. He was here, holding me tight. I didn't want him to ever let go again.

Without asking, Drei lifted me into his arms, cradling me so gently. Silent tears continued to stream down my cheeks, my arms wrapped around his neck in assurance he really was here. We weren't safe yet, but I fell asleep anyway. Just knowing he had come, he had kept his promise, was enough for me.

Vampiric: Chapter Six, Part 6

“She's still resisting,” a man with a clipboard said, his face shrouded in shadows.

“She will cooperate,” an angry voice growled from the shadows. A tall, wrinkled man following the words into the light. “Won't you.” A too long nose and tiny, wide-set eyes leveled with me.

When the lights had come back on, two men in black combat gear collected me from the cell—rather roughly considering I wasn't going to fight them; I could have, but it wasn’t worth the effort or the energy. They dragged me into another black room with one bright light, like where I had been before but different. Here, I could hear the whirring of machines. I was shoved into a chair that looked like it would better serve a death sentence than “research.” Straps were tightened across my wrists, shoulders, and ankles, as if anticipating some thrashing; they had also placed sensors on my temples and either side of my collar bone.

I didn't know how long I had been there, but so far the specialists had thrown objects at me, trying to scare me into submission. Each time, I diverted the object. What they hadn’t realized was I had no intention of fighting them directly, but they were not going to make me lose control.

“What will you do?” the other man asked, a scratching sound coming from his clipboard.

A sneer spread across the cracked lips of the one in front of me before he backed away. He reached for something on the tray—where the knives they had thrown earlier had come from. His face was hidden again in the darkness, but the object in his hand glinted in the light, a biting edge of metal smiling maliciously at me.

The man gaited slowly towards me again, my eyes locked on the long blade in his hand.

“I think we'll have to try something different, James,” he said in a low voice, a perkiness to it that didn't fit the mood. At least, not from where I was sitting. “You see, the other two elements have no choice. They don't have water or earth to come to their rescue. But with her,” he sneered again under the light, “we can't deprive her of that use. She's no good to us dead.”

“So what's the plan?” James inquired amidst more scratching sounds.

“A direct attack,” he replied, as if it had always been so simple. “We take the object we've been trying to scare her with, and make it so she has to acknowledge its existence.” He sliced the knife across my forearm.

I flinched, gasping, jerking my injured arm in an attempt to pull it out of danger and cover the wound. It hurt, more so because I hadn’t expected it.

“There was a spike in her brain activity,” a feminine voice called from the darkness.

The man turned toward the voice; “The kind we want?”

“Affirmative.”

She talked on about something dealing with my mom and the other experiments in progress, but my mind had raced to other things. If that had sparked the start of a reaction they wanted, I was in trouble.  Not just a little bit, either. They were closer to getting what they wanted, and I was fairly certain I was helpless to stop them.

Vampiric: Chapter Six, Part 5

It dawned on me I could have read him instead of waiting for an answer. That had to be what Mom had done. But I also realized that I wanted more to hear than to take it from him. “What do you need to tell me?”

His face burrowed into his hands momentarily, before he raked his hair with his fingers.

“You're being tested this week. But they're rumored to be trying a different approach. They started last week, and the people they tested then aren't moving around yet. They're just…lying there…staring at the wall, but they don't say anything. One of the three looked at me today when I came in; it was creepy how empty his eyes were.”

“What are they doing to them?” I asked, hoping he wouldn’t hear the tremor in my voice.

“From what the guys are talking about, they're trying to tap into the element itself.”

“That doesn't make sense. We are the element, it's us. We can use it—”

“So why can't it use you?” he interrupted calmly.

That shut me up. Not so much the idea of it, but the memory it triggered: losing control in high school. Before I had run away with Drei and left my Dad and everything else behind. In my indecisiveness, something inside me took over and fought for me; it wasn’t me, but it was a part of me. I'd been afraid of losing control ever since.

“But why? They could end up destroying someone.”

“They don't care about the person; they only care about how to harness and use the element against any who resist the government and the country.”

Remembering what Mom had told me about the air, I said, “The elements have the will to support life or let life die, but they don't tolerate people who think they should be able to choose which it is.”

“Abriel,” Nick asserted, gripping my forearm and holding my eyes. “They don't care.”

My gaze bore into his hand, touching me, but not really seeing it. A thousand thoughts swarmed my mind as to why they should care; a million combated as to why they didn't. Despite all the words filling my mind, none seemed to fit my lips well enough to escape. So I abandoned thinking about it, unable to quell the mixture of emotions beginning to overwhelm me.

“What—what else did you need to tell me?” I asked, struggling to stay calm.

His hand slipped down into mine, and I could tell he wasn't watching me anymore. “I can't. Everything else is from Gloria, and I promised not to.”

I would have nodded—used to hearing that I couldn't be told what Gloria, a clairvoyant vampire, had predicted in my future—but I couldn't even manage that. After having spent years avoiding losing control again, I was about to be dragged off amongst people who would try to induce it. It petrified me, to say the least, but it also angered, sickened, worried, and upset me.

Nick pulled me into his arms, running his fingers through my hair and whispering words that didn't make sense. Not among the hordes of emotion and thought concerning what was coming. No matter how I tried not to think about it, it came back—twice as forcefully and unnerving as before—until I couldn't help but cry into his shoulder, hoping my fears were for naught.

Vampiric: Chapter Six, Part 4

Nick stopped in what felt like that night. Mom was waiting for him by the door the first time he came. He greeted her in much the same fashion as the last time; the only difference was on her part. She was less flirty and a little more motherly. Before leaving, he gave her a hug, thanking her for trying her hardest the past week.

The second time he came, the lights were dark and Mom was spinning circles in the center of the room. I watched from where I sat against the wall, reminded of that last day with Drei when I was spinning in the snow. I missed him; I wasn't even sure I remembered what he looked like. All I could really remember were his amethyst eyes, his comforting embrace, and his gentle smile. But the rest of him was missing. I had lost it somewhere in that dark void. And I wanted what I couldn’t remember back almost as much as I wanted Mom to be well again.

“I wish I could see him again,” I said softly as Nick sat beside me.

“Drei?” Squeezing my hand, he answered the question I was frightened to ask. “Lily left a week ago to find him. She has contacts all over, so she should have found him by now, but who knows. When she does, she'll direct him here.”

“He's coming?” I questioned, almost afraid to be too hopeful, holding Nick's eyes. Even in the darkness, they were still clearly jade.

“As soon as we can find him. I'll do my best to make sure he can get in on his own.”

“So that means—”

“You'll see him again.”

I threw my arms around him, kissing his cheek. “Thank you,” I whispered, unable to find any other words to express my gratitude. “I promise I'll pay back the favor.”

“No need to,” he admitted, sounding taken aback—it was probably the kiss. I hadn’t intended to kiss his cheek, but I was so ecstatic. “I told you I love you. That means I'll do anything to see you safe and happy; even if it means admitting both of those are with Drei.”

“But this is…amazing,” I said, feeling bubbly and energetic. “You're amazing. I should do something—”

And then I felt it. Well, realized I felt it. Not all was right. Despite my incomparable happiness at hearing Drei should be on his way, there was something Nick wasn't telling me. I knew him well enough to know he wouldn't just tell me, so I read him, confused and certain I didn’t like what he was hiding.

“Is something wrong?” he asked worriedly as I pulled away. His eyes searched my features in the dark.

“What's testing?” I hated the way the word felt vile and slimy in my mouth. Mom stopped spinning and I could feel her gaze burning into us.

Nick stared at me, unsure how I knew, but seeming to struggle more with how to answer. “That's not important.”

“You wouldn't be concerned with it if it wasn't important.” I couldn’t demand the information from him; he’d only continue to insist it was unimportant. “What is it?”

“Testing is bad,” Mom started, bounding over to us and sitting on her heels. Her eyes wider than usual, she shivered as if cold, but the temperature in the room hadn’t changed. “They drag you away, bind you, and force you to use your gifts. They cover you with these cup thingies, too, that read everything in you. Especially in your mind.”

“Who are they coming for?” I demanded, turning to Nick. “Mom?”

“No,” Nick replied, shaking his head. “They don't particularly like taking people who have been too often. I don't know what they do, but it tends to mentally break and physically exhaust people. The specialists, I would guess, are afraid any more treatment and your mom will become useless to them;” he stared at his feet.

“So it's me,” I stated, wanting him to say it outright. Nick didn't say anything, though; he just looked away and Mom watched him as if trying to figure out what was going on inside his head. “Just tell me.” I knew that's what he meant, but why he wasn't saying it was what confused me. What was scaring the life out of me.

“Nick,” my mom said softly, “I'm going to let you two talk, but you need to tell her. You need to tell her everything.”

He snatched her hand as she stood to leave us alone, saying, “I can't. Not all of it.”

Mom gazed down at him in an almost pitying manner. “Then as much as possible.”

Vampiric: Chapter Six, Part 3

“You want to learn a new trick?” my mom asked as she twirled in the middle of the room. It was the first coherent sound she'd made for what seemed like hours. She had just been spinning and giggling to herself, occasionally muttering something under her breath in a high pitched voice so it came out like series of squeaks.

That she had said anything sensible took so long for me to register after the string of nonsense I had been ignoring, she stopped her spinning to watch where I had spread out under the window in what was surely fake sunlight—it didn’t even feel warm.

“What trick?” I replied, sitting up on my elbows.

As was characteristically her, she raced, light-footed, to plop down beside me, her eyes wide and excited. She leaned close and whispered in my ear, “Reading.”

“What?” My first thought being she was kidding. I mean, reading? I must have misheard.

“Reading,” she repeated softly, the energy inside her causing her to start bouncing on her haunches. “It's really fun, but you can't tell anyone about it because it's top secret.”

Top secret? If she hadn't sounded as lucid as she did, I would have thought she was pulling my leg. The way she made it sound, it seemed more like something for a spy. Not for air elementals.

“Why is it so secret?” I asked, for lack of any other question or comment.

“Because you're reading thoughts,” she said vaguely as I sat up. “They're immediate thoughts, other thoughts are trickier to find and I haven't heard of anyone who figured out how to get that deep. But it's still really useful. You can find out if what someone is saying is really what they mean. It also tells you what kind of mood they're in.”

“What about seeing memories?”

“That's viewing, silly. Don't you know that one?” She waved it off. “That's as simple as pulling. If you can't do those, you definitely can't do reading.”

“I can; I learned viewing by accident;” I left out it was while I was hoping I could be more like her. “And pulling I learned by necessity.” If eavesdropping could be considered necessity. And I believed one could make a strong argument that satisfying curiosity was a necessity.

“Good,” she said, nodding, “you'll need the combination of the two to learn reading.”

“How so?”

“Well, if you stop rushing me, I'll explain it to you,” she sassed, crossing her arms and puffing her lips out.

“I'll shush,” I promised, zipping closed my lips.

“Okay.” She sat there, still. I watched her, waiting for her to say something more. All she did was look around, occasionally making a face at me for no apparent reason.

“Well?” I inquired, jarring her to attention.

“Sorry,” she squeaked, her eyes growing large and a hand flying to her lips. “I forgot, so sorry. How can I make it up to you, Sweetie?”

“By teaching me reading,” I said slowly, wondering if she was serious. She had just told me to shush so she could explain it. I told myself I wouldn’t be upset with her; I didn’t know how serious her mental damage might be and I was lucky she was lucid enough at times to teach me anything.

“I am serious,” she stated suddenly. “And I thank you for not being upset with me.”

“I never said you weren't serious. Nor did I ever say anything about being upset with you.”

“You didn't say it, but you thought it,” she said smugly. “That's reading.”

Reminding myself not to think anything negative, I questioned, “Are you going to explain how?”

“Like I said, it's a mix of viewing and pulling;” she shrugged, as if it were the simplest concept in the world. “You grab what they aren't saying, but instead of watching it, you just pull it to you. Even when they aren't offering it to you,” Mom explained, nodding in a very matter-of-fact way. “So I'm going to think something about you—something I haven't told you. You tell me what I'm thinking.”

I watched her face, concentrating on seeing what she was thinking. Something shimmered over her head. Before it changed or dispersed, I pulled it toward me, hearing her voice inside my head. It scared me at first how clear it was. I took a moment to wonder if my own voice sounded as loudly in her mind as her voice sounded in mine. Tuning back in, I realized her thought was ending and I had missed a huge chunk of it. Replaying it, I didn't know if I would be able to contain myself. It touched me. More so than I thought was possible.

“You mean it?” I asked her.

“What did I think?” she insisted, calm though there was a nervous edge to her voice.

Wiping away a tear that had escaped my eye, I answered, “That leaving Dad and I was the hardest thing you ever had to do, and you're sorry you can't be better all of the time now. That you always wanted to see me, but you never wanted me to see you like—” The words were stuck in my throat before I could finish.

Her thin arms wound around me, pulling me closer to her. She rubbed my back and I knew she meant it, every word. Though the last words were stuck in my throat, her thoughts kept replaying in my mind:

Leaving you and your father was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I'm sorry I can't be well all the time, but I try. I have always wanted to see you grown up, but I never wanted you to see me like this. I must say, though, that I'm proud of you. You've learned a lot, and you've taken care of me. You have exceeded my every hope for you, and I know you'll make a lasting impression on the world, just as you are meant to.

Had anyone else told me that, I doubt it would have moved me so. But, coming from her, my mom, it meant the world.

Vampiric: Chapter Six, Part 2

“Why is it all bluish?” I questioned before realizing I had a different question I wanted an answer to more. “How can I even see it?”

“Well, we’re both connected directly to the air. To you, air appears bluish. I always saw it purplish, though lately it’s been more pinkish, but yeah,” she stopped herself from rambling on. “When you open your mind to it, the air will show you everything that pushes it aside. Of course, whatever color you see the air as is what everything else looks like, so don’t take any bets on what colors the person in the next room is wearing. Unless you get really good. When I was younger, I heard rumors of elementals who could eliminate the bias in their minds and have the air show them whatever color was disrupting them. But that’s just rumor. Never met anyone who could. I tried, though. I think if I keep trying I’ll be able to do it one of these days. Wouldn’t that just be great? To tell what the colors around the world are?”

I laughed. “Around the world is a little ambitious, don’t you think?”

“Nothing is ambitious. Once, when I was really bored, I mapped a cocktail party where they spoke a funny language; they all wore beautiful clothing, even though they were all purplish and everything; and they sounded like chipmunks kind of. It was really entertaining to watch. The better you get the more you can learn, like sounds. Sounds don’t come for a long time, though. When they do, you can hear everything said wherever you’re mapping.”

“What about sending? How does that work?” I pressed, genuinely interested.

“Oh, that’s tricky,” she said, her eyes wide but a note of seriousness still visible. “Both people have to be open, one to send it and the other to receive it. Once they’re both open, the person sending has to convince the air to share in the first place. It takes more time to learn. There’s a lot of sweet talking and even some promises not to abuse it for a while—air is very picky and needs lots of flattering. One day it wouldn't let me at all because the person I was sending to had hurt it really badly recently, so yeah. Okay, I'll get back to it,” she said slightly exasperated. “Anyway, so after you convince the air to allow that kind of transfer of information, all you have to do is will the information or image or whatever it is over to the other person. Of course if you're showing them something at the same time then you have to know how to split your focus so you can do what you want and still send, but that goes without saying.”

“Are you going to teach me that too?”

“Well,” she mused, looking off to the side. “It isn't so easy to teach. For everyone it's different, and it heavily depends on your relationship with the air. I would think the air really likes you; it didn't give me much fuss at all. But you know how now; you'll have to figure the rest out on your own.”

There were more questions, but I could tell her concentration was wearing thin the more she forced herself to stay focused. My questions could wait until later, when she wasn't as worn.

“How many people are in the cell next to ours?” she inquired, her eyes lighting up as though it was a game to her, making it more apparent how quickly I was losing her.

“Which direction?” I asked; I nodded as she pointed to the wall adjacent to the cushioned corner.

Doing as she had shown me, I draped a thin layer of air over the room and then tucked it around the bluish bumps to give them more shape. The room was as bare as ours. A cushioned corner, a barred window, a toilet like thing, and a door. There were three people in the room, one smaller than the others and curled on the cushions in the corner. From all that I could tell, it was a girl and she was asleep, but it might have also been a guy. I didn't want to tuck too close. The other two were adults, a skinny person and the other was heavyset, both may have been either man or woman from my tucking.

“Three people,” I replied.

“Confident enough to figure out their sexes?”

Opening my eyes, I told her honestly, “No. I don't want to be intrusive.”

She enveloped me in her arms. “At least you know how if you need to.”

“If I tucked the air closer, would they be able to tell?” I queried, curious.

“Yes, Sweetie. While mapping itself isn't harmful, it leads to one way you can kill people from a distance. You tuck too close around the head and they choke on the air; there's too much going in and not enough coming out—don't use it to kill, Abriel. Promise me.”

“I promise,” I said, thinking I would never need to. I had no interest in hurting other people, especially not to that extreme. But it didn't matter this advice may never apply to me. It only mattered that for the first time, she was sane enough to give advice. She was okay. Sort of.

“Air gives life and takes it away—like people kind of—but once you abuse your gift to choose for yourself which it is, air never works the same for you again. It holds it against you until you either die or you completely forsake your gifts; don't let it come to that, Abriel, sweetie.”

“I won't, Mom. I promise,” I assured her.

She pulled away from me then, jumping to her feet and skipping around the room, her goofy smile and wide cerulean eyes back. A song dripped from her lips, joyous and childish.

The sudden change left me feeling numb. We had been closer than ever before—reminiscent of a real mother and daughter—and now she was back to how she had been. If anything, I was more upset with myself for forgetting it would end.