Elemental: Chapter Twelve, Part 4

We sat on the couch, the fire dancing until it died down, diminishing into a pale spiral of smoke. Drei held me, my arms wrapped around his waist, and we didn’t need to say anything. Words would have ruined the understanding existing between us.

As the sky outside lightened—a misty gray with hints of indigo—Drei sat a small box on my knee.

“It was intended for Christmas,” he explained softly. “I was uncertain how Nick would have reacted.”

“Thank you,” I said, remembering how I had been grateful when no second mystery gift appeared while Nick still questioned everything.

“I believe it is more fitting as a birthday gift. It is Valentine’s Day.”

It hadn’t occurred to me my birthday was here. The last weeks had been such a whirlwind of information, travel, and emotions, I had lost track of the days except in reference to each other. But if he said it was Valentine’s Day, I was probably the worst person to contradict him.

Opening the box, I found a golden centipede bracelet with chalcedony insets, a match to the angel necklace he had gifted me before.

“Drei,” I gasped, facing him and his contented smile. “It’s gorgeous.”

“It is no match for you,” Drei said softly. He kissed my forehead. “You have grown beautifully this past year.”

“You aren’t just saying that because I finally realized I had what I wanted in front of me all along?” I asked, slightly concerned my words weren’t as specific as I had intended.

He laughed. “The end is not something to judge growth on,” he reasoned. “It is the journey you examine to find the character revealed. Your character is bright and heartwarming.”

“Now you’re just flattering me,” I said. He meant every word though I couldn’t fathom how considering the messes I’d made.

Drei stood, gently pulling me to my feet, smoothing my hair back. His slightly warm hand rested a breath longer on my neck than necessary—not that I was complaining. “You need sleep,” he said before removing his hand. “Valetta and Mitchell have planned a special party for you; do not tell them I spoiled the surprise.”

“Drei,” I joked, lightly hitting him.

The space between us was so awkward in the silence that followed, it was hard to believe we had ever been apart. Being close to him felt natural. From the happiness and longing radiating about him, I knew he felt the same.

“I’d better get some sleep,” I said, moving to leave, only to be stopped as he enveloped me in his arms again.

I didn’t want him to let go; I didn’t want myself to let go. But the door opened behind us and we sprang apart, worried at being caught so soon in our revelation.

It was only Mitchell. If he could have blushed, I imagined he would have; he quickly turned his back to us as though knowing he had interrupted something important. Drei sneaked a kiss to my cheek, then whispered to have sweet dreams. I didn’t need to admit they would be sweet without the worry of destroying an existing relationship. They would be sweet because I wouldn’t wake up feeling guilty.

As I shrugged into my coat, Mitchell smiled approvingly, saying, “It took you long enough.”

“But I got there,” I replied, pleased when he nodded, smirking.

“You are learning…and on your own.”

I felt like I was walking on air—which may not have been an exaggeration. It had all fallen into place after all. I still had questions, but there was time. And with Drei’s love in my heart, I felt like there was nothing—not even the unknown challenges ahead—I couldn’t face.

End Book One

Elemental: Chapter Twelve, Part 3

My gaze swung to meet his; the sadness was still present, but it had changed; there was something else there now as well. “Why have you been waiting?” I asked, needing to hear the words outright, not just locked inside riddles to be interpreted however. It had to be definite. My heart didn’t want to be fooled into thinking one thing when it was something completely different.

“Come inside;” Drei released me from his embrace, taking my hand and leading me out of the cold air.

Inside what I assumed would be his lodgings, he took our coats and hung them on a couple of hooks just inside the door.

“Sit, please.” He motioned toward a soft, worn leather couch. He piled logs in the fireplace, lighting them. “I have been here before,” he said unnecessarily—it seemed weird he was pointing that out when usually he would have known someone had told me. Drei settled next to me, cautiously, his eyes enraptured by the growing, dancing flames.

“I have known Gloria for a long time,” he began thoughtfully. “The second time I ever spoke with her, she told me not to fret about love. She insisted it was rather trivial in my healing process, and when I was ready, it would return to me.” He laughed at himself, shaking his head, and I wanted to kiss him, to always remember how at peace he looked when he laughed. It seemed like forever since I had seen him laugh—maybe longer—and I wished he would more often. “Gloria is funny in that she never reveals too much, but enough to drive you mad.”

“Sounds like someone I know,” I teased, coaxed into smiling. When he furrowed his brow, puzzled, I leveled my eyes at him. “Don’t even pretend.”

“I apologize for mystifying you.”

“No you aren’t,” I was shocked to find myself saying, knowing instantly it was true. “You almost enjoy it. You and Nick both did, and Mitchell—” Thinking about his involvement in the confusion made my muscles spasm for a millisecond. “Don’t even get me started on Mitchell. He really enjoys it.”

Drei laughed, erasing my irritation. “It will make sense in due time.”

“That’s what everyone keeps saying;” I sighed. “I just don’t know if 'in due time' or 'eventually' are going to come soon enough.”

“They will,” Drei said, serious again, that unfamiliar emotion in his eyes as his hand tucked my hair behind my ear. “Everything is clear with time.”

“What are we?” I inquired again, the question more insistent this time.

I expected him to look away, but he didn’t. He took a moment to find the words, sighing before he said anything. “I do not know what the potential of us is, or could be,” Drei admitted, his gaze still serious. In the seconds before his next words, I realized the emotion in his eyes was love—a completely different kind from what Nick and I had. “All I know is that I love you.”

Any hesitation I had formerly possessed vanished with his words, with that sweet confirmation of a feeling requited. My lips found his, and I felt the shock of the gesture settle and dissipate as he was swept away with me. The sleeping world felt left behind; it felt like we were soaring somewhere on clouds, alone together. His strong arms wrapped around me as we parted, his flowery scent enveloping me in my ecstasy. I was glowing, my cheeks hot to the touch; I was pleased to see Drei equally affected.

“I have loved you since I saw you,” he whispered, his voice sweeter and lighter than I ever remembered it. “I have not had the courage to tell you.” Our foreheads were barely touching, and I couldn’t believe it had taken us so long to let go of the fear and hurt. Not when this was the alternative.

“I love you,” I said, my heart amazingly light now that it was stated aloud.

Though I wanted to kiss him again, I settled next to him, my head resting on his chest, his arm draped over me. The fire before us still danced, almost more joyous than before.

“We must be wary, Abriel,” Drei murmured. I knew what he was going to say already: if we didn’t watch our step, if we became too close or too open, he would be barred from me. Then all of this would have been meaningless.

No, not meaningless. It had a meaning; it all had a purpose. If I lost him, this wouldn’t have been worthless; it had affirmed our connection, our love. No one would ever be able to keep us apart.

“I’m not afraid,” I whispered, truly meaning it.

Elemental: Chapter Twelve, Part 2

“Now you boys sleep tight,” I said before leaving the room.

Our new camp was larger than the previous one, the cabins older but roomier. Instead of two rooms, these had four. The lake itself was also larger, extending past the horizon. Mitchell informed me that Drei had planned this location for his new camp, and had been checking on it for the last several years, ensuring it really was abandoned.

While Mitchell and the other vampires were settling into the new environment or returning the rental vans, Drei and I were left to tuck everyone in. It hadn’t yet occurred to me there might have been an intended purpose for that. Initially, I just thought it was accidental.

“What if we aren’t tired?” Mikael asked from his room, quickly followed in agreement by Danny, Derek, and Josh—a newer addition to the group who had fit in immediately.

“If you don’t sleep then I’ll have to send some cold air this way until you’re all too freezing to get out of bed,” I said with light humor.

They giggled at the mental image of them blue with icicles dangling from their noses, but stayed put and made no other complaints. Though I was joking, subconsciously, they didn’t want to risk it.

“Good night,” I whispered, leaving the cabin. They were my last group and, though it was chilly outside, I realized Drei and I were the only ones around. I wasn’t sure if the timing was ideal, but I knew I probably wouldn’t have another chance like it.

I caught sight of his silhouette disappearing toward the cabins we hadn’t yet filled—some of them probably reserved for the vampires.

“Drei,” I whispered, sending the word to his ear.

He whirled around, startled at first, but then beginning toward me when our eyes met. I met him halfway, feeling the cold settle into my bones through my coat.

“Yes?” he questioned softly, glancing around to guarantee no one else had stirred. “Is everything well?”

The words vanished from my mind and I wondered if I had misjudged the moment. It didn’t seem like forgetting the words would happen in the ideal moment, but I had to say something. He was expecting it now.

“How did your sisters die? Ashlyn and Avery?”

Drei looked away from me, the set of his jaw revealing his refusal to reply, whether because of pain or just my not needing to know. After a hard moment of silence—in which I doubted Valetta had told me the truth—Drei said, “What do you really want to ask?”

And just like that, the words came. “What are we?”

“How do you mean?” He gazed at me again. His amethyst eyes were intense, as if he knew what he wanted me to be asking, but wasn’t sure I was.

“Together;” the anticipation welled in my chest. I couldn’t bear to meet his searching gaze; whatever information they held, I didn’t want to read. I wanted him to tell me, to say it aloud.

In his logical voice, he began, “Vampire law forbids any relationship between mortals and vampires, and lately they have been less lenient in their rulings. Lily is the youngest of us, turned in the 1920s, before the Council decided we needed more order to survive.” He cast his gaze off to the half-moon wavering above; I couldn’t tell if it was for strength or for locating those elusive words. “We are especially barred from elementals, the risk of distraction too great to truly understand until the damage is done.”

“That isn’t what I asked,” I whispered, feeling the tears well in my eyes. I didn’t want to know we couldn’t be together without him getting into trouble with this council, whoever they were. All I wanted to know was if he loved me; if I had tortured myself trying to forget him for nothing.

“You are shivering,” he said gently, pulling me into his arms, wrapping his jacket around us both. I was hesitant to wrap my arms around him, despite my longing to do just that. It wouldn’t feel right or acceptable until I knew, and he was more than reluctant to let me know.

“Why are you avoiding the question?” I asked, looking up at him, struggling not to let his comforting arms or familiar scent distract me. I wasn’t sure if either was on purpose, but, if they were, I didn’t want them to succeed; all of us, it seemed, had suffered too long from this omission. “What are you afraid of?”

Drei’s pale fingers brushed a wisp of hair out of my eyes. He looked down at me with such a sadness in his amethyst gems, I was certain he wouldn’t answer me, just as he hadn’t answered about his sisters. He had a way of locking away anything painful, as though it would make life easier for others to be ignorant of injury.

“Secrets hurt, Drei,” I said, resting my head against his chest. “My whole life was a huge mystery I never knew about. Please, don’t add to the pain my parents caused me.” My throat constricted, stopping me from opening my heart further. Stopping me from giving away everything before I knew if he would replace it.

He held me tighter, a hand tangled in my hair. Before, he had always been so cold when we touched; now he seemed to radiate warmth. In this wondrous whirlwind, that was the one thing I couldn’t make fit in with something else I had allowed to make sense.

“I believe you are the one I have been waiting for,” Drei whispered into my hair.

Elemental: Chapter Twelve, Part 1

Chapter Twelve: Waiting a Lifetime

The final stretch of the trip, we split into minivans and relaxed. At first, the five kids in the back of our van jumped up and down and talked excitedly, thankful for the day of rest. To keep them from distracting Mitchell too much, I gave them ideas of what to talk about and ensured they stayed belted. It wasn’t long before they had all fallen asleep, their usual energy reserve consumed.

The scenery flying past on the small two-lane highway was beautiful, even in late winter while everything was still bare. A light snow blanketed the landscape; I shivered, turning the heat up and focusing a few more vents on myself.

Mitchell smiled as I did this, as if it was some secret society joke I wasn’t in on.

“What?” I asked, wrapping the blanket I had found in the trunk tighter around my shoulders, shifting in my seat to face him.

“Nothing,” he said, the slightly mocking smile still playing across his lips.

I didn’t press him, too exhausted from everything else. Not to mention, I still didn’t know when I should approach Drei. No time ever seemed fitting enough. Part of me was scared there would never be a good time; that Drei was wrong, Valetta was suffering for naught, and I had again ruined everything.

“When should I talk to Drei?” I inquired aloud, half hoping Mitchell would suffer a stroke of genius and give me an answer I could actually use.

Mitchell shook his head, a soft chuckle escaping his lips. “When do you think you should?” I wanted to hit him for being cruel but knew it wouldn’t do any good. He was doing what Valetta was: hoping I’d be smart enough to figure it out. Too bad school couldn’t teach you useful things like this instead of abstract ideas that would rarely apply to anything.

“I’m not sure.”

“The time is right when you are certain it is.”

Quiet swallowed us and I found there was nothing I wanted to think about. It seemed impossible I was finally out of thoughts after months of nothing but that. Then an old, unanswered question came to mind.

“Did Drei give me the necklace? From two Christmases ago?”

His lips upturned in the familiar, riddling smile I seemed to get from everyone lately. Why couldn’t everyone just be straightforward? It would certainly make things a lot less complicated. But it was almost like they were more willing to put up with my disasters than avoiding them in the first place.

“Do you still possess it?” he questioned skeptically, as though I might have pawned it.

My initial reaction to that was to ask where he expected me to pawn it. “Of course,” I said instead. “It’s safe.”

His voice was soft when he answered, almost as though he was afraid he might be overheard revealing a long kept secret; “Then you always knew the answer.”

Elemental: Chapter Eleven, Part 7

Drei woke me before we left, leading me back through the trees to where the rest were just beginning to stir. I felt guilty; I hadn’t meant to sleep up there. Then again, it hadn’t really been my choice, either.

Valetta and I spoke again that night. She didn’t ask what Drei and I had discussed; she knew already—or at least, that was impression I received from her. I was glad our relationship hadn’t been ruined, and chided myself for not asking about the moon and promises—specifically, Drei’s promise.

A few days later, as the camp tumbled into dreamland, Valetta asked, “Why do you deny yourself?”

I was more than slightly confused, unsure what I had been denying myself. From my standpoint, I had been rather greedy, considering for what I was responsible. “What do you mean?”

“Drei,” she said simply; the word was heavy and her voice was laced with anguish. I hated it was evident enough even she knew. It shouldn’t have been; I should have been able to hide it better.

“He has you,” I said, shrugging, vainly hoping she’d let the topic go.

Valetta laughed, a surprisingly flighty sound. “He has not wanted me for a long time.”

My mouth fell open at this news and I was utterly lost for understanding. “But you know each other so well, and do everything together. You’re his right hand, always catching what he misses. You two—”

“—have never been together,” she insisted quietly; though her voice revealed how hurtful this truth was, I couldn’t believe it. Not after having convinced myself so thoroughly they were perfect for each other; they deserved each other.

“That’s not—not—” I floundered, unsure how to finish, or even really begin.

“He wanted me with him when he began this project, but we have never been together—not for lack of trying on my part, either. I love Drei,” she confessed solemnly, her dark eyes boring into mine. “Drei has never loved me; he has been holding out for someone else. Someone more akin to him, or possibly less. He has never told me.”

“What about our friendship?” I asked, worried. Her companionship meant so much to me. Just because she deemed it okay didn’t mean she’d still talk to me afterwards. I’d seen enough friendships ruined over relationships in high school to last me.

“Abriel,” she said sternly. “He loves you, and it seems you are the sole person yet to notice it.” Tears welled in her dark eyes; she closed them, inhaling to collect herself. “Our friendship will persevere. But you are an air elemental…who knows how long you will have with him.”

“But—”

“If I have to say it once more, and end up in a mess of tears, you will see our friendship jeopardized.”

“How do I approach him?”

She shook her head, a tear falling onto her pale hand. “You will know,” she softly said. “It is part of who you are to know when the time is right…and everything should be natural. If it does not come naturally to you…maybe he was wrong about you after all.”

Elemental: Chapter Eleven, Part 6

I chose to forego my sleep—not that I had been sleeping much anyway—and seek Drei. It was quite a hike to where Valetta guaranteed I would find him. The pine trees relented to my passage, almost in assurance I would get there.

The sun fell daintily though the branches and pine leaves, scattering light across a rocky ledge. Drei sat in the dappled light, gazing across the hilly landscape where black birds took flight in search for unfortunate mice and insects, or new nesting grounds.

“I’m sorry,” I said, standing a few yards away, “for scaring you.”

His gaze swiveled around as if searching for the source of the sound. When his amethyst eyes met mine, he shook his head gently, sighing. “I should apologize;” he seemed to search for the words to say, unable to hold my gaze for long. “You saw Nick as a person with a heart instead of a disagreeable occupation.”

“What happened to him?” I was timorous at the possible answers running through my mind. Depending on whose idea it had been, the options seemed to range from bad to worse, not finding any happy medium.

“I offered him a place with us, under our protection,” Drei said. “He turned me down, and I will not pretend I was not somewhat joyous. It would be too suspicious following us afterwards, he reasoned. Then he proposed his plan.”

“His plan?” If it had come from Nick, I was almost too afraid to ask. It was worse than if it had been Drei’s plan. In my imaginings, at least.

“He had us beat him, a real thrashing. Valetta ensured we avoided beating him senseless—it was a wondrous feeling,” he admitted, his features lighting up. I shook my head; I couldn’t help it. They were my guys and I should have known there would be violence somewhere in the plot. Okay, I did know, but I was hoping there wouldn’t be. “Then we hogtied him and left him afloat on the lake in a boat he found behind one of the cabins.”

“That sounds like Nick,” I admitted, a slight smile playing across my lips. “He always liked the big twist of surprise and huge impressions.”

Drei seemed like he was about to say something—he would turn to me, or part his lips slightly—but he didn’t for a while.

“What?” I asked, sitting next to him.

“We know why the government killed his family.”

“I know,” I replied, quietly. When he gazed at me with wide eyes and raised eyebrows, I continued, “He told me—I don’t think he meant to—when he told me he was—you know.”

“Are you still upset with him?” Drei looked away again.

A sigh escaped me; I had known this was inevitable, just as he had known this conversation was coming sooner or later. “I won’t lie. I miss him—a lot more than I thought I would.”

“Do not fret;” Drei smiled at me. “Nick is bound to show up somewhere down the road.”

“Did he say anything…before we left?” I asked, unable to help myself. I knew he had talked to me, but what would he have said to Drei or anyone else? And did he tell them something he didn’t tell me? Like I really wasn’t going to see him again? I knew Drei said I would, and Nick, too, but that didn’t mean they weren’t conspiring together; I could see Drei agreeing to go along with it.

“How about you watch?” Drei suggested, as he settled back. I sat across from him and watched as he closed his eyes, summoning the memory; I viewed it as it played above his head.

“You may join us,” Drei offered, hands buried in his pockets.

Nick chuckled. “It’s polite of you to ask, but you know I can’t.”

“It would be for her. Not for me.” Drei paused, struggling with the words. “She needs you.”

Nick shook his head, a slight curve to his lips. “We both know she only needed me as a substitute. A temp, if you will. And we both know,” he added, “that the unknown risks of me following outweigh any good I may or may not do.”

“I thought I would offer;” Drei shrugged.

“That’s a good thing, man;” Nick smiled. “It means you’re noticing her as a person, not just as another elemental needing to be saved from the oppressor’s inexplicable wrath.”

“I will take that as a compliment…?” Drei said, furrowing his brow.

“That’s what it is. Look, just don’t leave her lonely again, or I may just have to pop back in.”

“You can be sure she will be well accommodated on that front.” Drei stood taller—if that was even possible—as if to emphasize his point.

“Good.” Nick turned to leave but whirled around again, an index finger raised skyward, a devilish grin on his lips. “One more thing. We have to make this look believable….”

Drei sat up again, his eyes open, cutting me off from whatever came next.

“He has a good heart,” he said good-humoredly, sincerely.

“Yeah,” I agreed, beginning to feel sleepy.

“You have yet to achieve a good day’s rest.”

How did he always know? Then I remembered what Valetta had said. The two of them, they see everything. I should have expected as much.

Scooting over so I was next to him, I leaned against Drei—too tired to even fathom the walk back—and he smoothed my hair back from my face, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. His embrace really was comforting. And there was that luscious scent again. Smelling it now made me realize I had begun to miss it.

“Sleep is important,” he whispered, pulling me under whatever spell he had over me. I didn’t fight it; it was pointless to try. Besides, sleep sounded amazingly wonderful. And Drei made the comfiest pillow.

Elemental: Chapter Eleven, Part 5

Valetta and I discussed many things over the weeks of travel. Not just dream lives and randomness. We discussed her previous life, and mine, exploring our differences until it seemed we had known each other forever.

She had been born to a nouveau riche family—they previously hadn’t been extremely poor, but even with their newfound wealth, they weren’t in the same class as the lords and ladies. Her parents had expected her to jettison them to the next level, and provided whatever they felt was needed. They desired a progressive man in hopes he would be more open to marrying a nouveau riche maiden than the more conservative families. When she was old enough to court, suitors came and left. It wasn’t her fault; they weren’t prepared for someone like her, so well rounded and confident. But she didn’t know that then. She felt she had failed her family and—when the suitors stopped appearing—Valetta cried herself to sleep. Her parents’ relationship spoiled and her mother ended up murdering her father, insisting the devil possessed him. Her mother was imprisoned and Valetta was left in the care of family, her fortune then her uncle’s. Shortly after that, the house was attacked by vampires. They killed everyone in the house—all of her cousins, uncle, aunt, and her uncle’s mistress—except for her.

“I sat waiting in my room, the raucous they had stirred downstairs woke me. It may sound strange, but I was not afraid of them. For me, it was an opportunity to be embraced, not turned away,” she explained, and I knew what she meant, having felt the same not long ago. “When he came in, his eyes red and luminescent, I could not help but stare. As he approached, I opened my arms to him, and asked him to take me, to end my pain.” Valetta’s eyes filled with tears at the memory. She swallowed them back, pushing on; “He circled, and I questioned why he hesitated. It was a moment before his eyes dulled to a pale orange; he inquired why I would not scream or cry. For emphasis, he lurched forward, fangs bared, eyes flaring red, hissing at me. When I did not flinch, he questioned if I wanted to be born again. I did not realize he meant become one of them. All I knew was the life I had worked for failed, and I was out of options. I would not receive my family’s fortune. I would not marry any man who would change me. I was trapped by expectations dooming me for misery.”

“What made you decide?” I questioned.

Her dark eyes swept toward me, longing for understanding. “Hope.”

In her eyes I could see the scene playing out, in all of its magnanimous tragedy.

Her dark hair flowed around her, billowing gently in the breeze admitted from the opened window; she wore a white nightgown, surrounded by dark sheets and pillows. Her stalker stood, entangled in the white curtains, clad consummately in black. As she stared at him—waiting for him to give her rebirth—he stood, ensuring she meant what she said.

He lunged forward, a hand jerking her head to the side, the other wrapping her arm in a death grip. Her eyes expanded as his teeth sank in, but then she closed them, relaxing in his arms, trusting him to deliver her to something better. Shortly after she went limp, he pulled away and swept her into his arms, leaving.

“Is it what you hoped for?” I asked, softly, unsure if I should be happy for her or sad.

Valetta took a moment to recover her senses. “It is not what I thought he offered, but it has allowed me to meet many incredible people, and to see none of my life was my fault. I played my role dutifully—always the obedient daughter. Their deaths, her imprisonment, my lack of a steady suitor—I was helpless to control it. If he had never given me this choice, I never would have come to realize this. I never would have met Drei, or made your acquaintance.” A soft smile lit her features as she added, “I felt betrayed the first hundred years, but now I see what a gift this can be. You just have to be willing to embrace the positive and allow the negative to fall by the wayside.”

Silence followed afterwards, and, as I let her memory replay in my mind; I felt tears start to roll down my cheeks. Her pain alone was enough to make me forget any of my own.

“Do not cry for me,” Valetta said, watching as I wiped away some of the tears, “because I do not cry for myself.”

“But you do cry,” I said, certain I hadn’t imagined the tears that had filled her eyes.

“Not for myself,” she insisted. “I cry for the people helpless to change their situations, and unaware it may not be their fault. After all, I am the lucky one.”

For her to have gone through so much seemed incredible, and I wondered how she managed to survive it all. How had she held out? But I couldn’t ask. It would seem too much like asking what my future was, or what someone had wished. She had figured it out on her own. Now it was my turn. Even if I wasn’t sure where to begin.

“Drei helped me,” Valetta said softly. “If you speak with him, he could help you as well. It would make a good start.”

“How do you do that?” I asked, hating how both of them always seemed know what I was thinking.

“When you wish to know something deeply enough,” she said, smiling, “you send it out without realizing it. Drei and I learned long ago—from Gloria, mostly—how to read those signals.”

I nodded; it made enough sense for me, considering two years ago I believed vampires belonged in the fiction aisle. Mostly, I figured any further explanation would wind up more confusing.

“It is time.” She was right. There was only so long I could avoid speaking with Drei, and there would probably never be a good time.

Elemental: Chapter Eleven, Part 4

“How do you imagine your dream life?” Valetta asked one morning while the children slept. We were sitting together, close enough to see the small bundles of sleeping bags, but not close enough to hear the whimpers and sighs of sleep.

I looked at her, surprised she had asked. True, we had spent most of the last five days discussing different randomness, but we had never hunkered into anything serious. The flow of the conversation had been a comfort, stopping me from missing Nick too much. I still hadn’t asked what had happened to him, afraid Drei might be offended.

Reclining against a tree, I contemplated her question. “I always thought I wanted a huge house in the country, somewhere near a city, but not close enough for all the drama and violence to penetrate. There would be three stories, a library, a ballroom, a huge kitchen with the best staff available, but that was before,” I said softly, the familiar image popping into my mind like one of those virtual tours.

“What is it now?” She reclined against a tree across from me.

“I don’t know.”

“Close your eyes and picture your life in ten years. Talk to me as you envision it.”

My eyes shut against the dull light of the winter morning. I shoved aside the thoughts of sorrow still plaguing my dreams and the worries of if we really had escaped capture, or if there were spies following us. Summoning up the image of a blank page, I blocked the other sounds wanting to penetrate my imagination, focusing on what I wanted to see in ten years.

“It’s twilight,” I started, unsure why I chose that time of day when my favorite had always been dawn. I pried further, trying to see something other than the sky. “There’s a lake, sparkling and clear, nestled into the depths of a forest.” My heart thudded seeing the familiar setting, and my mind questioned to what this was leading. “There’s a house, too,” I continued, forcing myself to push further. “White, two story beach house, with a huge, wooden wrap-around porch. A straight stair leading down to the sandy side of the shore, a spiral staircase winding towards a wooden balcony. It’s off of the master bedroom.”

“Is anyone present?” Valetta asked, and I wondered how long I had stopped talking, waiting on the shore, looking back up at the house.

“Someone’s on the balcony,” I confided. I raced up the shore and the staircases, needing to know who it was. The arms opened to greet me, his smile bright and joyous. “I thought you would never come upstairs,” he said, the voice as kind and comforting as when we first met and his flowery fragrance seeming to pull me closer to him. “Why are you so drawn to your weakness?”

“Who is there?” She broke the dream.

I sat up straighter, ashamed. It wasn’t right to want him, and I had worked a year trying to remember that. “No one,” I said, vowing never to tell her. “What’s your dream life?” I reciprocated, dodging her ensuing inquiry.

She floundered a moment at the question, then she relaxed again. “Before my turning, I had always longed to marry a progressive man of status. I aspired to be the most lady-like, most irresistible woman of my time. There were many long days spent among books to educate myself, priests to find the perfect balance in my eternal soul, and walks to keep my health,” she explained, beaming before her expression soured miserably. “Unfortunately, even progressive men did not desire a woman so well balanced and assured of herself. They preferred trophy wives, women to be seen and unheard.”

“What is it now?” I inquired, hoping the change would cheer her again. She really was stunning when she smiled.  Why Drei liked her was much more apparent then.

“If ever I dream, I always imagine myself with that perfect man, always vampiric, for it would be a waste to love any other,” she reasoned, her dark eyes glancing up at me before darting away again. “We would not have our own home; instead, we would travel, always somewhere new. A backdrop no more permanent than that on the stage. Something new for every time we grew bored.”

“Who is he?”

Valetta turned away from me, gazing back at the dreamers. A thought popped into my mind, suggesting she was jealous of them. “I used to think I knew…I am not as certain currently.”

I crawled over to her, hugging her—because it seemed like the thing to do. “He is the one,” I said, despite the crushing pain in my chest. As much as it hurt, I knew it was what was right. She needed the confirmation, and I needed her friendship more than I needed his love.

Even if I didn’t believe it now, I could try to believe it in time.

Elemental: Chapter Eleven, Part 3

Inside my cabin, I felt overwhelmed with sorrow. The next step promised to be better—more difficult, perhaps, but better—but I would always remember this place. The memories trapped in these walls replayed before me, from the first moment I saw the desolate building and the wondrous rocking chair to Nick’s arrival, all the arguments, all the tears, everything. I soaked it up, never wanting to forget any of this, despite the drama and heartache. It seemed like my first real lesson in life: people get hurt, and all you can do most times is hope it doesn’t hurt too much.

“We can bring the chair if you would like,” Valetta suggested gently from behind me.

I turned, swiping at the tears that had appeared on my cheeks. “That’s okay.”

“Drei already approved it; all you have to do is say yes.”

“No, really. I don’t need it,” I reassured her, gazing over its carvings again, knowing I would probably never remember the full intricacy of the designs.

“You know he found that chair specifically for you. He personally refurbished it,” she said, coming closer.

“Why?”

“The carvings on the chair are for calming, relaxing, and clear thought. It was your mother’s before she was taken,” Valetta responded very matter-of-factly, sounding like a documentary. “It is an heirloom passed down in your family as nearly as we can tell. He found it at an auction, and thought you would like it when he found you.”

I shook my head, knowing something Valetta didn’t. “I needed the chair when I came, but I don’t need it anymore.”

“Very well;” only her raised eyebrows betrayed her surprise. “We need to go. Sorry to cut short your reminiscing.”

Gazing around me again—the never entered second room, the front room, my room, the chair—flashes of my life popped up before me, vivid again. “I was just finishing,” I said, watching the image of Nick and I hugging earlier that afternoon fade away. Even if it was only a temporary goodbye—as he had insisted—I was still going to miss him. But that’s life for you. It was time for someone other than myself to bow out. I had done enough of that to last me a lifetime.

“What’s happening to Nick?” I asked, suddenly needing to know. He was staying behind, but that didn’t mean nothing was happening. Something had to happen.

“Now, or after his colleagues arrive?” Valetta followed me out.

“Both.”

“We are not certain what the government will do to him. There has never before been a bounty hunter to help us,” she replied, a slight note of concern to her voice. “As for now, you should ask Drei. Just know I stopped them from hurting him too much.”

A nervous laugh escaped my lips. “What does that mean?”

“Ask Drei.”

“Everyone keeps telling me that.” I wasn’t quite ready to face him.

“Then maybe it is time you listened,” Valetta said easily as we fell into the disappearing procession of children and vampires.

Elemental: Chapter Eleven, Part 2

Shortly after I had finished packing, Valetta returned to take me to see Gloria. She had requested my audience. We would be going separate ways tonight and she did not foresee our paths crossing again soon.

I followed Valetta to the far side of the lake—the side none of us ever visited. It was shrouded in thick forest; the paths were overgrown with moss, grass, and weeds. Gloria’s cabin was the furthest in, the windows covered but allowing the sweet scent of marigolds and roses to escape their hidden cavern.

Valetta stopped at the foot of the path leading to the door. “Gloria is waiting for you,” she said. “This is where I leave you.”

Though I wanted her with me, I started down the path, head high and trying to convince myself this was not some fairy tale gone awry—because that’s what it felt like.

“Come in,” a deep voice said from inside, a puff of the thick flowery scent hitting me through the open door.

Gloria sat surrounded by violet, white, and indigo candles, flickering gently across her creamy complexion. Her eyes were gray on the edges, white in the center. Just as Nick had a way of looking through me, her eyes seemed to see everything in their once over.

“I would suggest you sit,” she said gently, her eyes following me as I sat cross-legged. “I would have aired out the fumes if I had been given more time. Under the circumstances, I just hope you can bear them long enough.”

I nodded, unsure what kind of answer she wanted, but hoping she would continue; I was already beginning to feel lightheaded. If she had wanted, I could have aired it out pretty fast, but I didn’t want to seem rude. She was the one who saw everything, after all.

“This was the easy part, the beginning,” Gloria said. Although she spoke softly, her deep voice seemed to fill the room.

“And I thought this was finally ending,” I whispered, lifting a hand to my head, trying to focus.

“No, Abriel. You still have a long journey ahead, with many choices and many more ordeals, increasingly difficult to overcome.” The words were not threatening, or even of warning, but still managed to be disheartening. “Do not fret; you will have a companion always with you.”

“Drei,” I said suddenly. My hands covered my mouth, my eyes wide at my own audacity.

Gloria’s full red lips upturned, crinkles appearing in the corners of her eyes. “You already know; that is more than I thought you knew. You must also remember your friends and charges, you will need them. They will need you.”

“Gloria,” I started, needing to know, “is my mom still alive?”

She nodded slowly, her short brown curls shifting around her clear visage. “You will meet her one day and may ask for yourself.”

I nodded, unsure in what state I would find my mom now. The thought also crossed my mind if I was the only one who would leave her presence feeling even less sure about the future or if she did this to everyone. So far, nothing she said made me feel confident about what came next.

“One thing, before you leave. If you remember nothing else, Abriel, remember life is about perspective. You can see endings or you can see beginnings.” She reached out to me and I took her hand. It was soft and surprisingly warm. “Choosing to focus on the endings will bring sadness and depression. It will paralyze you.”

“And beginnings?” I hated asking since it seemed a simple enough task, but the fumes were starting to cloud my thoughts.

“Choosing beginnings brings hope.” Gloria squeezed my hand and smiled kindly at me. “Be strong, child. Remember, you do not walk your path alone. There may be times you feel abandoned, but know the opposite is true.”

With that she released my hand and ushered me from her cabin. Fresh air had never been more welcome, though I was grateful for the opportunity to finally meet the clairvoyant. As I made my way back along the lake’s shore, my mind pondered the many beginnings I had come across in the past couple years.

When Drei had first ended his nightly visits, I had begun to grow and discovered my unknown strength. Ending things with Ritchie was the start of defining my individuality—from social expectations and my mother’s expectations. Each ending was also the start of something that promised to be better. The move may be the end of this location for the camp and my time with Nick, but it was the also beginning of whatever adventure waited around the corner. For all of us. Nick impacted all of us, whether positively or negatively—or both—and perhaps this journey was the beginning of a long needed change…I hoped.

Elemental: Chapter Eleven, Part 1

Chapter Eleven: Beginnings Bring Hope

“You need to pack, honey,” someone said, shaking me gently. In the moment before I opened my eyes, I wished I would see Mom sitting beside me, exactly the way Dad always saw her in his memories. It would have been perfect timing if it were her. I felt like I could use the extra support.

Valetta had pulled her hair back and was wearing a tank top and gouchos, both in black. Outside, the sky was still gloomy, but it wasn’t as depressing as rain.

I was disappointed it hadn’t been Mom, despite knowing it had been a long shot.

“Whatever you think you need, pack it,” she instructed. “Do not leave anything too revealing about yourself if you can help it.”

“We’re leaving tonight.” She didn’t have to tell me she was frightened tonight might be too late, or the journey might be too long for the younger kids. I could tell.

She nodded and left, passing Nick outside my window as she traveled to break the news to others. I watched other vampires traversing between cabins—their mission difficult but necessary—as I waited for Nick.

He didn’t step into my room, but waited just outside. I turned away from the window, digging out my duffel and piling clothes inside.

“I don’t know what to do,” Nick started, slow and painfully. There was a tremor to his voice. “How do I make it up to you? For everything I’ve done?”

Gazing up at him, I smiled. Despite everything that had transpired, I loved him in my own way. “Don’t worry about it.” I wanted to add we had all screwed up, but the moment wasn’t long enough.

“If you insist,” he replied, staring at his feet and coming inside to sit on my bed.

“Is there something else?” I inquired, joining him, aware something had changed in him. There was this air about him. I vaguely hoped he would relent what Drei had guarded so dearly.

“Yeah. I spoke with Gloria; she requested I see her, oddly enough,” Nick said slowly.

“And?”

“Well…I better know my part in this play.”

“All the world’s a stage,” I recited distractedly.

“And all the men and women merely players. Shakespeare knew what he was talking about.”

“What do you mean?” I asked. “What play are we in?”

He looked shocked and I hated that expression, more than I had before. If people—namely Drei, Mitchell, and, now, Nick—would just tell me instead of being riddle masters, I wouldn’t have to ask the obvious questions. It wasn’t such a difficult concept to grasp. Or was I alone in thinking that?

“The play of your life. Every event, every person, it’s all leading up to your shining moment.”

“And what is my shining moment, pray tell?”

“That’s like asking what I wished,” he replied, smiling that slightly crooked smile with which I first fell in love. “You’re never supposed to tell.”

“Punk,” I teased, disappointed, but knowing everything would have to make sense at some point in time. Who knew if that time would ever come, but it seemed worthless to resist waiting for it.

I expected him to leave then as I couldn’t imagine there was anymore reason for him to stay; I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to leave, though, despite what I now knew about him.

“Can I ask something?”

“Why not?” I responded, shrugging.

He looked extremely serious and almost grave. “May I have one more kiss?”

I nearly fell off the bed laughing. His manner and the question were such a stark contrast to each other, I couldn’t help it. Nick caught my flailing arm before I tumbled sideways.

Instead of saying anything, I kissed him. His breath was warm and his lips soft, just as they had always been. But this kiss was different. This kiss felt more like saying “See ya, sugar” than “Hello, gorgeous.”

“Two things,” he whispered when our lips parted. “This isn’t goodbye, no matter what it feels like. I’m just bowing out for the act.” A gentle smile played along his lips, his jade eyes glinting with a hint of sorrow. “Secondly, now I can tell Gloria she was wrong about something.”

“Wrong about what?”

He wrapped me in his arms again, and it felt more like a goodbye by the second. Tears pressed at my eyes, my heart aching. I had expected this moment to come—I didn’t think Drei would let him come with us. We couldn’t risk anything more. It was a miracle enough I was going, though I don’t know how much of that was thanks to Valetta.

“She said you wouldn’t kiss me.” As he held me tighter, tears soaked his shoulder and our laughter rippled around us. Part of me wished he could say goodbye without joking; another part of me wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Elemental: Chapter Ten, Part 6

I woke up in my bed, buried beneath several comforters, alone again. Nothing in me felt like moving, eating, or anything. Everything still came to me, despite the light tapping on my window. I couldn’t even question why that was; I started to, and then the words flew away.

Nick stopped by, an apology planned. I didn’t roll over to face him; I knew he had already reported the camp; it was either that or be imprisoned with the rest of us since they had likely avoided interfering as long as we were oblivious. He relented sputtering when I didn’t move or say anything.

Drei’s voice drifted to me from wherever he was, disconnected and nonchalant. He never mentioned my name, and avoided any questions concerning me. He was always in a meeting, too, discussing how to save the others, and what to do about Nick. His ignorance of my existence may have deeply scarred me if I could care; but nothing mattered anymore. It was better for everyone if I just stayed away and kept out of things.

It might have been hours or days I laid there; time didn't seem to move in its conventional way, or perhaps I had merely lost my ability to pin it down. I was unable to ignore anyone, listening to everything around me, whether it meant something or not. Nick came in at some point, though, and freaked. I didn’t look to see what he was freaking about, but I knew he went straight to Drei. I tried to direct my listening to other conversations, not wanting their argument to take precedence.

The next moment, it seemed, Drei was at my side, kneeling.

“Abriel,” he whispered, fraught.

I sat up, turning to face him. “Yes?” I questioned, my voice devoid of emotion. That was another thing I didn’t seem capable of holding onto for long.

Drei reached for my hand, taking it in his and kissing it. “You…the air is consuming you,” he managed, his voice unsure.

“I’m fine…Drei?” I was just beginning to realize the worry. He couldn’t see me. I sat half inside my body; its visage was pale, the blue-gray eyes cold and unseeing. My chest barely moved with breath. “What’s happening?” I was not yet panicking, but slightly interested in this translucent state.

“Abriel,” Drei whispered, ensuring Nick—standing in the doorway—couldn’t hear. “Your body will die, though, essentially, you will not; your soul will become a part of the air.” As he spoke—the words difficult for him to muster—I couldn’t help but consider how peaceful that sounded. The air gives life to everything, sees everywhere, and, though sometimes destructive, essential for so many aspects of livelihood. Few people blamed the air for wrongdoing; it was opposite me in nearly every way it seemed. “If you do not wish for that to happen,” Drei continued, “then you have to use what control you yet possess and pull yourself back into your body, but—but you must do it quickly.”

I listened to the instructions, because I always listened to him. But I didn’t want to go back. What did I even have to go back to? He wasn’t upset with me only because I was in this situation, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t still hate me. It made more sense for me to let this run its course. Maybe I would finally have my wish granted and find some long-lived happiness; maybe they would both find some peace.

Nick wasn’t crying, but he wasn’t the kind to let his emotions overcome him—not these kinds of emotions anyway. When I turned to gaze down at Drei, I felt my heart beat again. Tears streamed down his ashen cheeks, his eyes an amethyst so pale, they were nearly white. He didn’t make any sound, but he clutched my hand as if it were his only lifeline.

Those tears were the deciding factor. I had never known Drei to cry, and something about what Valetta had said earlier echoed in my mind: I had fought for Nick because I wanted him to stay. Now it was time to do something that wasn’t for me, even if it meant forfeiting something that sounded so ideal.

It took a few minutes, but with enough convincing and a touch of stitching, I settled back into my body, warmth flooding me, blood pulsing at a steady rate, and the sounds outside my room dissipating into nothingness. Drei’s hand still held mine tight, but flew away the moment I began to sit up.

My mind raced between my possible reactions, finally deciding to still be wary of his temper.

“It won’t happen again,” I promised.

I lay back down, drowsy, ignoring Nick and Drei. They had gotten on well enough without me the last few days. I didn’t want to be in anyone’s way.

Besides, it left me time to ponder what else was coming. Jake had been right; loving Nick had almost cost me my life. Not because of anyone else, but because of myself. What was yet to come, I couldn’t fathom. It all seemed dark and helpless from there. I had very possibly passed up my one chance to do something useful.

Elemental: Chapter Ten, Part 5

I gazed out the misty window, tears fogging my vision. Everything was a twisted muddle of emotions and beliefs. None of it was supposed to happen; not this way. And yet there I was, facing a doomed camp filled with children who didn’t yet know they were a few days from government imprisonment.

Before tears could overtake me completely, I sauntered slowly into the fresh downpour. Though rain suffocated my powers, I hoped it would suffocate my emotions and drown my heart, killing it before the pain could.

Standing on the edge of the pier, I felt the air around me freeze, unable to attend to me, even if I had called it. The rain bled through my clothes and seemed to penetrate through to my very core. I threw back my head, openly crying now, my arms outstretched and my hair clinging desperately to my skin, as though pleading for me to go in. I heard the plants sigh, grateful for the rain after the unusually warm winter, but hoping it would soon end. The trees breathed peacefully in their bare skin, sleeping through the traumatic events crushing my imperfectly rebuilt world.

Everything seemed to speak to me, bringing its peaceful nature to my ears, until my entire body was flooded with the sensation of every living plant and creature within the surrounding area. Not even voices within the cabins were safe from my prying.

“Drei,” I heard Valetta saying as if she was next to me. “She is outside—”

“Leave me alone, Valetta.” If I hadn’t already been numbed from the noise and rain, a dagger would have pierced my heart at his words. I had expected as much, but it didn’t stop it from threatening to hurt.

I heard him walk away and Valetta plead, “She needs you. You are the one who said she was more important than anyone else.” There were tears in her voice.

A long pause ensued. At the end of it, Drei replied, “I was wrong.”

The conversation faded out and someone else’s voice found purchase in my thoughts.

“Why is Abriel so sad, Nick?” a small voice questioned. “You did something, and now she’s sad. What happened?”

“People hurt other people, Mikael,” Nick replied softly, a rough edge to his voice, as though he were hurting as much as anyone. As though he deserved to be in as much pain. He didn’t, though. Nick wasn’t losing as much as some of us; he was one of theirs. He was safe.

“Abriel doesn’t hurt anyone. She takes care of us all; she makes us all friends,” Mikael insisted, flustered.

“No,” Nick said angrily. “Everyone hurts someone, and we hurt each other, and—”

“You don’t love her like we do—else you’d know, Nick. Abriel doesn’t like to hurt people,” Mikael argued back.

“You don’t get it!” Nick yelled, storming to another part of the cabin, leaving Mikael to wonder.

Their voices faded in a cacophony of sound erupting in my body. They all said the same thing. But I wouldn’t believe them. Everything had failed, again. I would never be able to lead any kind of content life; I was broken, and ruined life for anyone I came in contact with. The amazement that filled my senses until I overloaded and passed out wasn’t real. They were imagining someone else in my place.

Broken people always fell.

Free, normal, harmonious people were the only ones who could ever dream of flying.