Elemental: Chapter Eleven, Part 4

“How do you imagine your dream life?” Valetta asked one morning while the children slept. We were sitting together, close enough to see the small bundles of sleeping bags, but not close enough to hear the whimpers and sighs of sleep.

I looked at her, surprised she had asked. True, we had spent most of the last five days discussing different randomness, but we had never hunkered into anything serious. The flow of the conversation had been a comfort, stopping me from missing Nick too much. I still hadn’t asked what had happened to him, afraid Drei might be offended.

Reclining against a tree, I contemplated her question. “I always thought I wanted a huge house in the country, somewhere near a city, but not close enough for all the drama and violence to penetrate. There would be three stories, a library, a ballroom, a huge kitchen with the best staff available, but that was before,” I said softly, the familiar image popping into my mind like one of those virtual tours.

“What is it now?” She reclined against a tree across from me.

“I don’t know.”

“Close your eyes and picture your life in ten years. Talk to me as you envision it.”

My eyes shut against the dull light of the winter morning. I shoved aside the thoughts of sorrow still plaguing my dreams and the worries of if we really had escaped capture, or if there were spies following us. Summoning up the image of a blank page, I blocked the other sounds wanting to penetrate my imagination, focusing on what I wanted to see in ten years.

“It’s twilight,” I started, unsure why I chose that time of day when my favorite had always been dawn. I pried further, trying to see something other than the sky. “There’s a lake, sparkling and clear, nestled into the depths of a forest.” My heart thudded seeing the familiar setting, and my mind questioned to what this was leading. “There’s a house, too,” I continued, forcing myself to push further. “White, two story beach house, with a huge, wooden wrap-around porch. A straight stair leading down to the sandy side of the shore, a spiral staircase winding towards a wooden balcony. It’s off of the master bedroom.”

“Is anyone present?” Valetta asked, and I wondered how long I had stopped talking, waiting on the shore, looking back up at the house.

“Someone’s on the balcony,” I confided. I raced up the shore and the staircases, needing to know who it was. The arms opened to greet me, his smile bright and joyous. “I thought you would never come upstairs,” he said, the voice as kind and comforting as when we first met and his flowery fragrance seeming to pull me closer to him. “Why are you so drawn to your weakness?”

“Who is there?” She broke the dream.

I sat up straighter, ashamed. It wasn’t right to want him, and I had worked a year trying to remember that. “No one,” I said, vowing never to tell her. “What’s your dream life?” I reciprocated, dodging her ensuing inquiry.

She floundered a moment at the question, then she relaxed again. “Before my turning, I had always longed to marry a progressive man of status. I aspired to be the most lady-like, most irresistible woman of my time. There were many long days spent among books to educate myself, priests to find the perfect balance in my eternal soul, and walks to keep my health,” she explained, beaming before her expression soured miserably. “Unfortunately, even progressive men did not desire a woman so well balanced and assured of herself. They preferred trophy wives, women to be seen and unheard.”

“What is it now?” I inquired, hoping the change would cheer her again. She really was stunning when she smiled.  Why Drei liked her was much more apparent then.

“If ever I dream, I always imagine myself with that perfect man, always vampiric, for it would be a waste to love any other,” she reasoned, her dark eyes glancing up at me before darting away again. “We would not have our own home; instead, we would travel, always somewhere new. A backdrop no more permanent than that on the stage. Something new for every time we grew bored.”

“Who is he?”

Valetta turned away from me, gazing back at the dreamers. A thought popped into my mind, suggesting she was jealous of them. “I used to think I knew…I am not as certain currently.”

I crawled over to her, hugging her—because it seemed like the thing to do. “He is the one,” I said, despite the crushing pain in my chest. As much as it hurt, I knew it was what was right. She needed the confirmation, and I needed her friendship more than I needed his love.

Even if I didn’t believe it now, I could try to believe it in time.