I had left after the other lights
flickered out in the cabins, not wanting to explain what I was doing or why. That’s
spontaneity for you, never a rhyme or reason, but it always feels so right in
the moment. It was the moment after the action you had to watch out for.
Nick called out when he arrived in
the chaotically tranquil garden. I sat up from the patch of grass where I had been
stargazing, supposing he had waited for Mikael to fall asleep before chancing
to leave.
“What are you doing?” he questioned,
lying beside me.
“Aren’t the stars beautiful?” The
black and white of the sky was bordered by curious leaves; they were either
questioning what was going to happen, or what the heavens looked like close up.
I doubted it would look more lovely than it did now.
“My dad used to teach me to read
constellations, but I never really took an interest.” He shrugged beside me,
his arm brushing against mine, surprisingly warm. Or perhaps I just hadn’t
realized how chilly it was.
“My dad and I never did anything over
our last several years together; he was busy working and staying away from my
mother.”
“What are you thinking about?” Nick
inquired, shifting to his side, rushing past my sorry statement. He didn’t
change the subject in a way that suggested he was disinterested, but in a way
so as to lighten the mood. The jade eyes burned into me and I again felt he
could see past the skin and bones to something more. It frightened me. Mostly
because I couldn’t be sure what he saw.
“Everything,” I said instead of
talking about how much this smell reminded me of Drei and all the circumstances
in which I’d inhaled it. “Anything.” I avoided admitting I missed Drei, even if
I was the one pushing him away. “And nothing.” I shoved away the confession
that, as much as I liked him, I wished he was Drei.
“That’s quite a boat load,” he replied.
I didn’t say anything, just rolled onto
my side to face him, going over again how he was different from Drei, and what
it was about Nick I liked. What it was that made him mysterious and easygoing.
“You’re beautiful,” Nick said, his
shaggy hair pushed up by his palm.
Before I could think of a response,
his lips were on mine and I felt alive. Not like breathing alive. I was fully
aware of everything around us: the whistling breeze, the flowers sighing in
sleep, the stars twinkling in an undecipherable code…everything.
My heart raced and my brain tried to
find something to ground me. I pushed him away, just so our noses barely touched.
“This isn’t going anywhere,” I
warned, praying he’d understand what my lack of words seemed to say in my own
mind.
“I wouldn’t dream of taking it
anywhere,” he whispered before his lips found mine, and the breathless feeling
of life—real life—filled me again.
In that moment, I forgot about my
feelings for Drei. All thoughts ceased to pass through my mind except for one:
now I knew what the leaves had been waiting for.
No comments:
Post a Comment