After three months touring and speaking with Nick, I was relieved to be
home. Though most days went much like the first, some were more difficult in
different ways. I had been felt up at least four times by guys who were chosen
to check for wires, but I couldn’t say anything to them until after I was
done—and I always did so with a smile. Nick wasn’t always so nice, though.
Usually after they left the immediate area, he stopped them and
slapped them around a little. I couldn’t agree with his methods, but I wasn’t
going to stop him. If I hadn’t been personally against performing actual acts
of violence, I would have done it myself.
Because I was revealing who I was and what I could do, it made it harder
to be safe. People knew, the government knew, and bounty hunters were out in
force. They couldn’t do anything when we were in the middle of the oration, and
they typically refrained from trying afterwards given Nick was at my side—the bounty hunters didn't seem to recognize him as formerly one of their own. The
point was to make me ‘disappear’ and that didn’t work if there were witnesses.
So we manipulated our advantage the best we could and otherwise took every
precaution of which we could think.
But after everything, it was great to be able to relax at home and see
Drei again. Nick had even chilled out about the Drei-biting-me-because-I-almost-died
thing by the time we returned. I think it was mostly because we were both exhausted.
Now we could sleep a little better until it was time for the next
tour—this one also three months, though we had three months to prepare. The
three months before we began planning the march would be spent on guest
visits to anywhere that requested us via e-mail or a form on the site. I was
glad to see, when I went online, Mikael and Xenia had successfully added a
forum and much of the discussion concerned our speaking engagements. Some of
the users also posted videos they had taken for those unable to attend an event.
Caroline had been successful with her tour, as well, though it sounded as
though people better connected with me—it was the little things.
A few weeks after Nick and I had returned, I was finally done visiting
with everyone and catching up with what had happened in my absence. Returning to the apartment after my update with the Council, I sat on the
couch, opening the laptop Caroline had bought for me so I could keep up with the website. I navigated to the site and started reading through
the comments on the speaking engagements, looking to make improvements, if
needed.
The door to the bedroom opened, but I didn’t pay any mind. Nick was out
clubbing with Lily—a vampire whom he had been with for a while now; she was visiting for
a week. Lily was also from the camp; she had left before Drei and I, but it hadn’t been until a few years ago that I'd learned where she had gone.
I figured Drei was waking up from a nap or something; it was quite late—I'd had to wait hours to see the Council because they were backed up with
vampires who had used the holidays as a reason to “splurge,” as Tudor had so delicately explained. It wasn’t until I heard a heavy thump on the floor by the door I
looked up. Drei stood there, slowly slipping into his shoes, kneeling to tie
them. At his feet was a single bag. A bag I had only seen once before: when we had
moved in.
“Where are you going?” I asked worriedly, setting the laptop on the couch
next to me.
Without looking my way, he straightened again, taking a moment before he
reached for his jacket. “I do not know,” he replied, shrugging into his coat,
staring at the wall when he finished.
I was standing before him in a moment, feeling small compared to him, and
shrinking. “Then why are you leaving?” One of my hands found his cheek,
brushing his shaggy hair to the side.
“Because I am useless here,” he said softly, still refusing to even
glance at me. “I need something to do. I cannot sit idly by while
everyone has something to contribute.”
“But you’re wrong,” I insisted, needing him to look at me. “You aren’t
useless.”
“Not even you need me,” Drei whispered, gently grabbing my hand and
lowering it from his face. “Your campaign will be a wonderful success.”
I couldn’t believe what he was saying. He was the one who hadn’t wanted to
come with me. If Nick hadn’t been there, I would have failed miserably. I
wouldn’t have been able to stumble through the script Caroline and I had written.
But if I had had my way, it would have been him there, not Nick.
“I still need—”
“I know when I am needed.” He almost never interrupted me; the only times
I remembered him doing so were when things were awful, and I mean so
horrendous he didn’t see another option.
Mentally I was kicking myself. I should have seen this coming. He had been distant for a while, strict for the short period after my breakdown but otherwise quiet and somber. I felt colder than I had in some time, responsible for what was happening. If I had talked to him about why he wasn’t an ambassador or in charge of something else, this wouldn’t be happening. But it was because I had forgotten, distracted by other people and things and myself. I couldn’t help thinking that if he left, despite my pleas, it would be my own fault and I would deserve it.
Mentally I was kicking myself. I should have seen this coming. He had been distant for a while, strict for the short period after my breakdown but otherwise quiet and somber. I felt colder than I had in some time, responsible for what was happening. If I had talked to him about why he wasn’t an ambassador or in charge of something else, this wouldn’t be happening. But it was because I had forgotten, distracted by other people and things and myself. I couldn’t help thinking that if he left, despite my pleas, it would be my own fault and I would deserve it.