Vampiric: Chapter Five, Part 3

I guessed Nick had turned down the lights since it was back to that barely visible glimmer. Mom was curled in the corner, safe in the arms of sleep. It had taken a while to talk her down from her mutterings but she was quiet now. Sitting opposite her, she looked peaceful, almost normal. Her breathing was regular; her face was fittingly mature while still managing to be angelically beautiful.

The door swung open in the corner of my eye. I pretended not to notice; I still wasn't sure if I was ready to face him yet. After presuming him dead, I had stopped contemplating what I would say when I saw him again.

“Never thought I'd see you here,” he whispered, slipping down along the wall beside me.

“I could say the same of you.”

“You said as much. But you—”

“I was supposed to come here,” I interrupted, still unsure if I could look him in the eyes. “To see her and…I guess, to see you.”

“That's screwed up;” he shook his head.

“Welcome to my life.”

Neither of us said anything. The silence embraced us and stole any thoughts to start another strand of conversation.

“I missed you like crazy,” Nick said, breaking the silence. He turned his jade eyes on me.

Words refused to come or, more accurately, my mind refused to let my mouth say anything. It was too dangerous and I didn't know what would happen. My heart was still with Drei, but Drei wasn’t there. I couldn’t be sure I was a strong enough person to resist changing my dependency. Part of me wanted to, though. It would be easy to succumb to my fate and take comfort where I could.

“You'd probably be happy to know I've accepted the fact I’ll never be number one in your heart. I'm with Lily now. But no one can know. You should understand better than anyone.”

“I do.” I nodded, turning my head in his direction. “So that's what happened to her? She just left and Drei never told anyone.”

“Really? I figured everyone knew; then again, it's probably better they don't. I kind of like living,” he said jokingly, though we both knew it was probably more true than we wanted to admit. “How's Drei doing?”

“As he always is. The last time I saw him anyway.” Before horrible thoughts and images could flood my mind, I turned my attention to other things—like Mom and what she looked like sleeping. I couldn’t think about how Drei was doing. Not without risking my emotions and sanity.

“That would be two and a half months ago, in case you were wondering.”

“I was, actually.” I met his gaze for the first time. It wasn’t how I had feared it would be; his eyes were still bright jade and kind, but we both knew our time was past. “How long have I been here?”

“About two weeks according to the system.”

“Why don't I remember any of that time?” Burying my head in my hands, I tried to recall noticing some difference. It didn't feel like two weeks had passed. But if not two weeks, I didn’t know how long. Time didn’t seem to exist there; not for me.

“That's just what made her lose it,” he said, a large hand resting comfortingly on my shoulder. “You don't notice a difference. It just feels like the same stretch of day lasting forever. They put something in the food so you feel full longer and don’t notice the time between meals as much. We're also only allowed to turn down these lights every week or so to throw you off even more. Most people still sleep regularly through the light, though.”

“I never was one for sleeping,” I said, pulling my face from my hands. I could do this; I could deal with being here—especially with both of them. I just had to take it in stride, to remind myself I could handle it.

“And once they hit where your mom is, they don't sleep much either.”

“Why is this the first time we've noticed each other?”

“Well,” he said, stretching his legs in front of him, “probably because the last time I came in here you were sleeping or, probably more likely, pretending to be asleep. I don't blame you; if I were you I would’ve pretended too. But that and then I only work by myself on the nights we turn off the lights. All the other nights someone else is here to do rounds.”

“More people sleep with the lights off so—that makes sense.”

He nodded. After another stretch of silence, he asked, “Why are you avoiding any mention of us?”

My head shook, a shiver running down my spine suddenly. I hadn’t thought much about us other than to keep Mom busy. It wasn’t like I had worked out scenarios for our reunion or the absolute perfect thing to say to make everything better. “I don't have anything to say.”

“That's obviously a lie since you were telling your mom stories.” I could hear the smile in his voice—that crooked smile with a hint of mischief.

“You want me to say something about us?” I asked, tersely without completely meaning to be. “I missed you. I clung to everything as long as I could until I had nothing left to cling to except Drei, and even him I couldn't hold onto. I left the camp, tried to live normally, but that was ruined. I didn't trust myself after you;” the threat of tears made my chest feel tight. “Nightmares of another unexpected bounty hunter plagued any sleep I managed to snatch. Holding a job was work for me. I had to fight every instinct to quit and give up altogether. If it hadn't been for Drei, I never would have gone out; I never would have left that stupid apartment for anything more than working.

“But he insisted I go out with him,” I continued, the sadness receding slightly. “And though I never got over my fear, I managed to hold it together long enough to enjoy something. To let my hair down and dance. To forget for a time that Drei and I couldn't be together.” I forced myself to breathe slowly and deeply, to keep the tears and the hysteria building in my chest at bay. “You changed the way I saw the world, Nick. I know with you, I was lucky. If it had been any other bounty hunter, we all would have been too deep to save ourselves; and that's what scares me. You were my one chance to learn. The next time, I won't be as lucky.”

“Obviously not, since you ended up here,” he said, trying to lighten my mood. It didn't help.

“I'm not here because of bounty hunters.” I glanced at him just long enough to see his slight attempt at joking change into confusion. “I'm here because I took one for the team.”

“What team?”

“Not tonight, or whatever time of day it is. I can't now.”

“Then when?”

I held his gaze for the longest time, trying to figure out what would be a safe time to promise, but there wasn’t any plausibly good time I could think of. “After it's over.”

“And if you aren't around?”

I cringed at the painful reminder. “Ask Drei.”