Elemental: Chapter Nine, Part 3

Drei seemed to disappear again. Every time I thought I felt his presence, it vanished in the next instant. He avoided me completely; it was horrible to think it was my own fault, despite having wanted it. I just hadn’t wanted it like this.

As the cool days of October closed in, everyone spent more time at the lake, the water elementals showing off as much as possible when Nick wasn’t around. After he caught them creating fountains, I had to tell him something. I gave him the vaguest explanation I could that ended up being more circuitous than anything else. After a while, he just stopped asking about it. The kids became stealthier and almost more untrusting of him. They started setting a watch for when he had left so they knew when to act like normal kids playing in the water again.

Around that time, I also worked out a new idea to try: manipulate the air to help me stay underwater longer. Not such a good idea. The moment I breathed in, my nose was flooded with water. Nick helped me to the shore, teasing that I should know how to swim after a summer of such activity.

I laughed and coughed, playing it off as a mistake from being momentarily distracted. It took a while to reassure him I was fine. Once I had, he went back into the lake and I strolled over to where Valetta watched, disinterested, as always.

“Why can’t I use my element in water?” I questioned, leaving no room for pretense.

Valetta smiled, as if she had expected me to figure it out sooner. To be honest, I was angry with myself for not figuring it out—or at least trying it—sooner.

“Air is less responsive in water. Because it is a liquid, the air is heavier and lazier,” she said, the teasing smile not leaving her lips. “Have you ever noticed you tend to be unhappy when it rains?”

I thought about it; when it had rained last week, I had been depressed, not in the mood to try running between the drops to spend the day with Nick. That is, until Nick came over to spend the day playing a board game he had coaxed Lily into finding for him. It felt like being a little kid again: wet, gray skies, a smiling face, and something to do.

“Well, if I have someone to spend it with, I’m not so sad.”

“When the air is heavy, so are you—emotionally, of course.”

I thought a moment on this, taking it in and comparing my experiences with this new nugget of information. “That makes sense, kind of.”

“Try not to drown yourself,” Valetta teased.

“You saw that?” I scrunched my face and vainly hoped she hadn’t.

Her eyes glinted with laughter. “I see everything.”

Elemental: Chapter Nine, Part 2

Toward the end of summer, after another afternoon of swimming races, I was half-running to my cabin, freezing in my wet swimsuit; it was remarkable how much cooler it was in the shade. At the top of the stairs, I found Drei leaning against the door. A blush crossed his cheeks before he turned away. My cheeks burned and were no doubt crimson; I felt exposed wearing only a towel and bathing suit. If my mind hadn’t gone blank just then, it may have questioned why I felt nearly naked before Drei but perfectly comfortable around Nick in the same outfit.

“We need to discuss something, Abriel.” From his tone, I knew I wouldn’t like what we had to discuss. But I wanted to talk to him just so I could listen to his voice again. Until he had said anything, I hadn’t realized how much I missed the sound of his voice. There was a mature, secure nature to it that Nick just didn’t have in his.

When I had pulled my damp hair into a bun and changed into dry clothing, I invited Drei in, settling on the rocking chair. He opted to stand, despite my offer for him to sit.

“Your relationship with Nick worries me, Abriel,” Drei started, regarding me carefully.

I shook my head gently. “I already told you, Drei—”

“Let me speak, please?” His eyes closed as if it pained him to have to ask. Then remembering how everyone else listened whenever he opened his mouth, I understood. I was the only one who ever interrupted him; I didn’t know why that was either. It wasn’t like I had an excuse.

“Okay,” I said, hoping he wouldn’t take it to mean I was open to his negativity.

“We have been researching the fire his family died in,” Drei said slowly. “The culprit is whom we believed it to be, and now we are questioning why they would target Nick. Something is not right with him; you must have noticed how the others react to him as of late. In all my years, I have yet to see them distance themselves so. He is not an elemental and we do not know what his motives may be.”

“He’s not going to hurt anyone, Drei.” I breathed slowly, trying to remain rational and calm, but feeling protective. “Nick isn’t the government; he isn’t a bounty hunter. You just don’t like the fact that we’re perfectly content spending time together. You were a better person when I was lonely all the time.”

“You do not understand, Abriel; that is not the matter—”

“Are you okay with the fact that Nick and I like each other?” I interrupted, unable to just listen anymore. Though he insisted it wasn’t the issue, I couldn’t help feeling it was a large part of it. Even more so for his objections.

Drei bit his tongue, his face stoic but his thoughts a chaotic mess surrounding him. “No,” he admitted, barely a whisper. “I detest the thought of you enjoying the wretch’s company.”

“Well I do, Drei. And I’m sorry you can’t be okay with it.” I looked down at my feet. There was nothing I wanted more than for him to be happy for us; it was only fair. I was happy for him and Valetta, as much as I wished I didn’t have to be some days.

“I wish you would consider the possibility that his intentions are not consummately noble,” Drei practically begged. I had never heard him like that before and it was weird. He had always been the one in control. The one who was calm and knew exactly what to do. It had never seemed possible he might beg for anything.

“I never ignore you, Drei,” I replied softly, still unable to face him. “I always think about what you say, even if I don’t agree with it.” My gaze focused out the window on the sparkling lake, how it seemed to mock me again.

“I realize this,” he said. Another thing I didn’t quite understand was how we could both know so much about each other and, simultaneously, so very little.

The air filled with sorrow and, when Drei left, I realized a great deal of it was my own.

Elemental: Chapter Nine, Part 1

Chapter Nine: Free Falling

I woke up hearing Mikael moving around in the next room, forgetting for a moment I had fallen asleep in Nick’s arms, and he in mine. Nothing had happened; it had surprised me—to be quite honest—he was so respectful of my wishes, considering how Richie had been.

Nick sighed in his sleep, his heart beating against my cheek.

In that moment, I knew I had chosen correctly. There was nothing I would trade for that morning. His heart pulsed steadily, an arm draped protectively about me. I didn’t regret my decision and it felt like, for the first time, I had done something right.

***

Summer passed in a flurry of new love and hopes. The children indulged in swimming and forgot their games of colder weather. Most days, they were required to do lessons—Valetta’s idea to do “summer sprint sessions” as she put it. The reasoning being they were all talented learners, and deserved more freedom during the day. During the summer, they would give up three hours after lunch to study various subjects. Two hours after dinner were reserved for studying and homework. It really was ingenious the way they had set it up, and all busywork was practically eliminated. The only reason I could grasp why they studied in the summer was to ensure the children were inside during the worst of the heat; otherwise, that part didn’t quite make sense to me.

Nick and I weren’t required to attend since we were both high school free. We spent those hours exploring or sunbathing—more I was sunbathing and he was splashing around nearby before pulling me in with him. I had never known summer to be so full of happiness. There was not one moment I was distressed or felt as though I had betrayed Drei. It was shocking, considering how I had expected to feel.

As far as I could tell, Drei didn’t care. He wasn’t around much anyway, which I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. But I guessed he could listen once in a while.

Elemental: Chapter Eight, Part 7

Nick opened the door and I kissed him.

After Valetta had left, I waited until the lights went out in all of the windows except Nick’s. He never went to sleep with everyone else, and thus was the reason he often slept until the end of breakfast. His timing was impeccable in that sense; he always managed to arrive just before they cleared away all the food.

“What’s this?” he asked when I stepped back from him. I could feel the heat in my cheeks and my heart pounding; my brain, for once, was not thinking about tomorrow.

“I don’t need any more time.”

The smile on his face was invitation enough. He wrapped strong arms around me as I closed the gap between us.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” I said, kissing him to stop any further conversation.

As we kissed under the new moon, I could have sworn someone was watching us. Someone depressed and disappointed, but I blocked it out, feeling confident I was doing what was best.

Elemental: Chapter Eight, Part 6

Valetta visited again the last day. I had suspected she might and was glad she hadn’t disappointed.

“How goes the solitude?” she questioned, sitting at the foot of my bed.

I sat up, legs crossed Indian style, resting the book I had been reading in my lap. “It’s not long enough,” I replied, wishing she could just tell me the right answer.

“You know Drei is concerned about you.”

“I’m aware of that; received a whole night of arguing about it, actually,” I said, sounding a touch more exasperated than I had meant.

“He is worried your mentality and emotionality are too fragile to make proper decisions concerning yourself or others. His heart is in the right place, even if his mind is slightly outdated,” she conceded gently.

“I know, Valetta,” I insisted, sighing and running a hand through my hair. “I’m not trying to hurt him, but I need someone who isn’t just going to lecture me.”

“And Nick’s heart is in the right place, as well,” she continued, ignoring my outcry. “He wants to support you, not just be around you. Very noble of him.”

“Valetta, stop!” I threw my hands down on either side of me. “It’s not helping. I don’t want to hurt Nick either, but I don’t know what to do. Tell me,” I pleaded. “Tell me what I’m supposed to do.”

“You already know what to do, Abriel. The air element is known for finding the best route to peace.”

“But I don’t even know how to figure that out; it’s not like there’s someone to tell me.”

“I have told you; you already know the answer,” she persisted, folding her hands in her lap. “Sometimes the best route is not the easiest or most convenient…and someone still ends up hurt.”

“That’s not helping,” I said softly, feeling more confused than ever. While she might have thought it was useful, it didn’t simplify the problem any and I was nearly out of time. I needed a solution, not a riddle.

Valetta sighed, shaking her head. “Stop thinking about Drei and how he might react, or Nick and how he might feel afterwards. Drei has always been a bit of a bully when it comes to his opinions, but he has a good heart. He will still respect you if you believe in your decision. As for Nick, he will care for you no matter the outcome. All that matters is what you think needs to happen for your sake.”

Suddenly, it was as though someone had removed a blindfold. Juggling the emotions of three people was impossible. Now I knew what I needed to do. It was simpler than I’d made it out to be—even if it did take her forever to just say it.

I wrapped my arms around her shoulders, a bittersweet happiness filling me. Someone was going to be hurt, but there was no way to avoid some pain. All I could hope to do was minimize it. (And maybe feel rather dumb for taking a week to accept that had been the answer all along.)

Elemental: Chapter Eight, Part 5

Nick and Drei argued daily now, sometimes twice. Most days Nick started it, especially when I wouldn’t answer the door and pretended not to hear his knock on my window in the morning. Then Drei pounded on the door a couple of times. I hid in my room, talking myself out of seeing either of them.

I avoided witnessing their arguments, and spent most of the week experimenting, hoping some clarity would be found in the ancient pastime.

Valetta stopped by after the first day, reassuring me she would keep the two from killing each other while I worked out for myself what was needed. She also left some old CDs and a disc player. Old as in music I’d listened to in middle school and had pretended I didn’t like by the time I reached high school.

Her gift became my first experiment. I knew the songs and, never having had the lungs to sing, maybe there was a way to fix that.

The first attempts were a mess of coughs and either not enough air or too much. As I found the right balance of input to match my output, the problem I had was concentrating. Often, just as I was reaching the climax, I would forget to pull more air into my lungs and my voice fizzled out, leaving a drowned moose sound hanging in the air. If anyone had been around to hear, I would have been humiliated and embarrassed.

By the third day of my break, I had mastered it. It surprised me I actually had a decent voice, but it wasn’t like I would be selling records the next week.

After the satisfaction had worn away, I was bored with singing. There was still a challenge in concentrating, but I found my peace to be temporary in that. The moment the song ended, every thought came rushing back. I was to the point that images would flash through my mind as I sang. It was no longer helping. If anything, it made me feel worse for procrastinating.

Abandoning singing, I recalled meditating when I was younger. My mother had insisted it was to aid me in balancing my life as it became busier. More than likely, she just wanted company when she was experimenting with new relaxation methods—like the time she thought it would be entertaining to try a contortionism class. That, by the way, landed her in a chiropractor’s office for two months.

Settling at the foot of my bed—legs crossed, muscles loose, eyes closed—I focused on a blank sheet of paper in my mind’s eye, just as I had been instructed to do years before. My breathing slowed, setting the backbeat for the sounds filling me.

How was I to know my element wouldn’t allow me to meditate?

The blank page was splashed with color and brief sketches of birds, squirrels, and children laughing. Everything flooded into my open mind. It didn’t bother me; it was rather refreshing. There is nothing like being filled with something other than yourself. It didn’t give me an answer, but it revived my will to find one. Unfortunately, Mother would never realize how much those meditation classes really worked.

The second to last night of my isolation, a small troupe of the children visited bearing gifts.

“We’re sorry, Abriel,” Danny, and Derek said when I opened the door.

“We brought you a gift,” Bethanie added as Michelle held forth an ice sculpture of a young woman cradling forget-me-nots. The roots of the flowers laced through her chest, curling into a heart-shape.

“Come in,” I said, surprised at the chill outside.

After settling on the wooden floor of the front room, the sculpture resting on a windowsill, I asked, “What are you sorry for?”

“Aren’t you mad at us?” Mikael responded.

“What would give you that crazy idea?”

“Well you aren’t around anymore,” Xenia added, glancing briefly up at me.

“I’m not mad at you guys,” I insisted.

“Is it Nick?” Bethanie questioned eagerly.

“Or Drei?” Kora added, eyes wide in curiosity.

I was silent a moment. It wasn’t really their fault; it was mine. “No,” I replied. “I just needed some time off.” When Jake looked to ask another question, I added, “Have I missed anything interesting?”

Kora rolled her eyes. “Only Michelle making gaga eyes at Mitchell.”

“Am not!”

“Is that why you’re always showing off super hard when he comes by?” Mikael questioned. Michelle’s cheeks flamed.

“Anthony and Amy almost got caught playing a prank on Nick yesterday,” Derek offered quickly.

Danny added, “Yeah, they were going to make him slip from the lunch station down the hill into a mud puddle and he almost saw them setting it up.”

“Yeah,” Xenia said, “Valetta practically bore holes in them. I’m not sure Nick would have noticed though.”

“He has been really distracted lately,” Bethanie said and all of their smiles began to fade. “He’s not as much fun anymore. And he’s being a stupid jerk whenever Drei comes around.”

“Ugh, you’re telling me,” Michelle huffed. “I used to think he was kind of cute until he became little Mr. Fireball all the time.”

Derek said, “He has been rather stupid about the whole thing.”

“Both of them have been,” Danny amended.

Mikael said, “To be fair, I think taking on a vampire when you’re just a normal person is the more foolhardy.”

“Well I’ll be back in a couple of days,” I said, hoping to lighten the mood again. I hadn’t intended for them to suffer for my imprudence. “Then you can show me a new game.”

Jake, who had been quiet after I’d preempted his question, gave me a skeptical look but didn’t say anything; the others jumped excitedly, promising they’d have a really great game by then. As they walked away from my cabin, Jake turned back. It was strange how subdued he was compared to the others. For a moment, I feared he would return to my door with some other question to which I didn’t have an answer. Then he caught back up with the others, smiling and nodding as they discussed what new game they might create.

Elemental: Chapter Eight, Part 4

How could everyone be happy? Like we used to be? Drei would be overwhelmed if Nick left this minute. He’d behave as though Nick had never been here; but then Nick and I would be depressed. There was something about Nick I needed, and was it so wrong to feel needed in return? If I left with him, would Drei still be happy? Would I be at peace? Or would missing Drei overshadow any hope at serenity?

The scenarios played through my mind, each ending with someone hurt. It didn’t seem there was a way to keep everyone happy. Though I needed to decide something, I didn’t know how to make it up to Drei or Nick, or even make myself feel better.

Late in the afternoon, while Nick was playing kickball with the children, I watched Drei call him aside. Curious, I brought their conversation to me, my heart breaking even more.

“Where is Abriel?” Drei demanded, his voice low and violent.

“She’s taking some time off,” Nick responded carefully, not giving in to his fear of Drei, but not fighting…yet. “She needs time to think or something.”

“What did you do?” I watched him grab Nick’s shirt with one hand and shake him threateningly.

“What did I do? What about you?”

“Do not speak to me that way!” Drei growled, lifting Nick off the ground. Nick grabbed Drei’s wrist to support himself. “This is your fault; if you had never come she would have been perfectly fine.”

“Since I came she’s had someone who’s there for her, unlike the way you were treating her.”

Just as Drei wound up a fist to pummel Nick, I forced them apart, a blanket of air catching Nick before he hit the ground and Drei before he lost his balance. Both of them looked around as if expecting to see me; when they didn’t, they went off on each other again, this time keeping their distance.

Their argument made me resolve to figure out something, anything. Continuing on like this would ruin the entire camp, and over something as little as with whom I wanted to spend time. I couldn’t let that happen and be my fault; I didn’t want to destroy everything.

But I couldn’t stop anything if I was unable to decide on a course of action.

Elemental: Chapter Eight, Part 3

Nick knocked on my cabin door the next morning. I didn’t blame him; I had stayed cocooned in my blankets, avoiding breakfast and everyone else. Though I looked a mess in my old sweatpants and university tee, I found I didn’t care. Last night was wrong on so many levels. Drei shouldn’t have found out that way, Nick shouldn’t have had to face him alone, and I should have seen it coming.

“You missed breakfast,” Nick said gingerly, smiling as he offered me an apple.

“I wasn’t hungry,” I replied softly, leaning against the door jam, turning the apple over in my fingers.

“Are you okay?” His brow furrowed a little and his green eyes scanned mine, searching for clues.

Sighing, I said what I knew I had to say: “I need time to myself.”

His gaze downcast, he asked, “Is this about last night?”

“This is about me.” I realized how selfish I sounded and winced internally. “I’m taking the week to myself.” Before he protested, I pushed off from the door frame and turned away, adding, “You promised if I went with you, you’d babysit a week without me.”

“But—”

“I need to do this, Nick,” I asserted, struggling not to fall into his arms, kiss, or even face him. I knew the minute I faced those jade gems I would be lost in the moment again, and I couldn’t be careless anymore. People always seemed to be hurt when I didn’t think through my choices. “If you care about me at all, you’ll let me.”

After he left in his cloud of doubt and confusion, I went to my room and settled into the rocking chair, a knee pulled to my chest. Tears rolled down my cheeks and my throat constricted. Why did it always seem to require pain and destruction before I considered the impact of my actions?

Elemental: Chapter Eight, Part 2

I jumped away from Nick, instantly recognizing the voice. I could have sworn my heart stopped two beats too long. Moving was probably my greatest mistake; Drei went straight for Nick.

“You have no right to be here,” Drei said, his voice deep and sending tremors through my skin.

Nick was shaking, but his jaw was set in defiance. “I have just as much right to be here as you do;” he held Drei’s harsh gaze steadily.

“Not with her;” Drei’s hand jerked in my direction.

“She likes to be here with me.” Nick stood, falling just short of Drei’s height. I felt horrible he was in such a position, but even worse they were fighting. My two favorite people in the world—so similar, and so different—were fighting because of me. “Which makes sense since I don’t go around bullying everyone and scaring the kids shitless,” Nick continued, his green eyes seeming to darken.

“I at least know better than to take advantage of a girl,” Drei growled. “You have no idea what she has been through. You are both poor judges of what is right for her.”

My sense of injustice had stirred and overcome my fear of Drei’s anger; Nick wasn’t some mindless hooligan. But Nick jumped in before I could.

“From the sound of it, you don’t know her at all.”

“I know her better than you,” Drei countered; something in the way he held himself changed, as though he became taller and more hunched; he emitted a threatening hiss, advancing on Nick. I didn’t know what to do, let alone how to help; I couldn’t even comprehend what was happening.

Nick backed away from Drei, his eyes wide in horror. When they had circled around, Nick took off running just as Drei lunged for him. The leaves and flowers jostled noisily in their sleep, protesting at being disturbed in such a manner.

Seeing Nick chased off like a lout awoke such a vivid passion I couldn’t see for a moment. Whatever was happening, it wasn't right.

“What was that?” I demanded, standing and rising to my full five feet six inches.

“It is for your own protection,” he whispered, turning quickly away from me.

“Don’t you dare;” I spun him around, adrenaline pumping through my veins so quickly I feared if I stopped I’d fall down. “Why don’t you want me to be happy?”

“You do not know what will make you happy. As I said, you are not capable of judging such things currently.”

“You don’t know that!” The night replayed in my mind from the peaceful chatter to the abrupt interruption and ensuing madness.

“What would make you happy, Abriel?” he asked, quickly adding, “Besides Nick.”

For a moment I wanted to say Drei, but immediately felt guilty. Valetta had been kind to me the last month or so; she was really making an effort to be friendly. She knew about Nick, though I never admitted anything; and I knew about Drei, though she kept equally quiet.

Being forced to think allowed the anger to blow over. I felt exhausted and weak in the knees, but he wouldn’t have the satisfaction of my needing him now.

“You should just be happy for me,” I said softly, feeling tears close at hand. “Nothing I do will ever be enough to repay you for what you've done for me, but that doesn't give you the right to make my decisions. I will not give him up just because you don’t like him.”

Drei stiffened and in the next instant his face contorted, amplifying every crease in his frowning visage as he loomed over me, his fangs glinting in the moonlight. “You will not see him,” he seethed, but I wasn’t afraid after the initial shock of the change; I had almost forgotten he was a vampire, but now the truth was before me and I couldn’t imagine ever choosing him over Nick; Nick wouldn’t try scaring me into submission, let alone threaten me.

“If you want me to be happy,” I stated calmly, turning away from him, “leave me alone.”

I felt the air thicken in his disappointment, whether it was directed at himself or me, I couldn’t be sure, but I wasn’t sticking around to find out.

Elemental: Chapter Eight, Part 1

Chapter Eight: Waiting for Peace

The garden was our date locale most nights. During the day, we’d sit together talking about random things or join in the games. The children accepted Nick because I did, but they were wary of him, as if his skin or breath were poisonous. I had asked why, one day, and they all pretended to know nothing about it.

Some nights we sat and shared the past, his arms curled around me to protect from the cool weather. Other nights, our chatter was dispersed between kisses and laughter over funny faces and even more amusing jokes. I didn’t know what you could call what we had. For me, I wasn’t sure if I would call it love; but it was such an extreme affection, I knew he wasn’t just a friend I regularly kissed. Nick never said what it was for him; the look in his eyes before he kissed me, the crooked curve of his lips when we were together during the day, or the way he’d hold my hand said it all.

I warred with myself whether it was fair to Nick that I didn’t know how I felt about him. When I was with him, none of it seemed to matter. Perhaps it was my power or some other force I wasn’t aware of that caused me to feel as though he was part of me, and I was part of him. That every time our lips touched or his hand slipped into mine, we were melding together.

The month passed as such—a not-so-secret relationship and a series of private meetings. When Drei happened to be around while we were playing games, I couldn’t help but notice he always glared at Nick. I had a sinking feeling that the thought of us together was more dangerous than bounty hunters. At least in the case of Drei. Perhaps that had some impact on my uncertainty.

One night, I sat in Nick’s embrace, my arms crossed loosely and resting lightly on his. My head lay on his shoulder, my eyes closed as he spoke to me. Not because I was tired, but just because his voice had a different quality that way.

“One day, Kit was running around with Kate’s doll, her favorite one,” he started, his voice excited as he launched into the tale. “Kit insisted it was hers and she should be able to play with it and the white jeep Mom had bought her for Christmas. Of course, Kate was crying when she came to me; our parents were at some company party my dad had to attend. When I yelled for Kit to bring the doll with her, she showed up sniveling and saying she was sorry. They were in preschool and I guess they hadn’t learned about sharing yet. She kept muttering apologies; Kate only plugged her ears and started yelling that she’d never forgive her again.”

“Oh dear. What did you do?” I had a feeling I knew what he would say already. It was really similar to another story I’d heard before.

“We sat down together, Kit still crying a little because she had been found out, Kate still stubbornly pouting, the picturesque victim. I asked Kate why she wouldn’t accept the apology, and she insisted that it wasn’t sincere. So Kit started crying full out again until I stopped her and told her Kate didn’t mean it. Kate complained I was lying, but I asked if she loved Kit, and she stopped. Then she apologized for being stubborn and mean. Kit hugged Kate, telling her she was sorry.

“That night when my parents returned, they found I’d been cornered into playing dolls with them to keep the peace—which unfortunately also involved playing dress up,” he finished, a blush in his voice as I laughed. “It never happened again. Dressing up, that is.”

“It’s still funny,” I insisted, turning to look at him, less mystified by his ending.

He smiled down at me, that special curve to his lips; “Have I told you you’re beautiful?”

“Never.” I smiled and waited for what came next.

“Well you are,” he replied, leaning in to kiss me.

“What are you doing here?” a vicious voice snarled from a few feet away.