Elemental: Chapter Ten, Part 3

It stopped raining. I had spent the sleepless night trying to pinpoint the exact moment in time where everything began to change from so blissfully wonderful to extraordinarily turbulent.

The air of my cabin was spoiled with hopelessness, the walls closing in on my depression. Without another thought, I ran through the forest to where the brook babbled and the gray sky clearly threatened another cloudburst. My sneakers were soggy with mud and the brook looked more like a river that had outgrown its bed. My eyes caught something brightly colored further down the overflowing brook, and my feet marched toward it, uncaring of the water sloshing into my shoes or the suctioning mud.

A bright red footbridge had been set up, rather recently from the unused look of it. I wondered who had placed it here, and in the same moment thought I knew the answer. I used the sleeve of my college sweater to clean up some of the water and sat down, removing my sneakers. Dropping the damp shoes beside me, I dangled my feet in the clear rainwater; I followed the created ripples, watching them collide and spread, wondering if I might ever affect people in such a manner—without the drama and broken hearts.

“What are you thinking about?” Nick questioned; he plopped down beside me, my shoes separating us.

“I’m thinking about if any of this was worth coming, and if everything might have turned out okay if I had just stayed instead of running away. If any of this changes anything.”

I refused to look up at him, I knew what was coming, and I realized it was time he knew. If he hated me because of it, perhaps it was better that way. If he loved me all the more, would it change anything? Would I love him more and be willing to prove it the way he wanted me to? Now I didn’t know, but in a moment it would be clear.

“I’m glad you came,” he said, putting off the inevitable. “I never would have fallen in love if you had never come.”

“Stop,” I pleaded, tired of him beating around the bush. He had no problem asking before; was he afraid of what I would say as much as I was? It was the only logic I could find in his actions.

He took a long while building up his courage to ask. In the silence I regretted never telling him before. There were millions of opportunities, the only thing stopping me being the fact I didn’t want him to look at me like a diseased girl who cared more about new purses for every occasion than world hunger.

“Why are you here?” he finally asked. “How did Drei save you?”

I took a huge breath in before saying, “On my seventeenth birthday, I came into my…gifts.”

He sat, watching me as I kept my eyes locked on the new ripples in the water. I told him everything, from Drei explaining elementals and the history and future, the bounty hunter at school, my public freak out, and how Drei gave me an out. The easy out that I was too numb to pass up. I left out my conversation with my father, but included how Drei helped me begin rebuilding, and then the children, and, lastly, him and Valetta.

“I owe Drei more than I want to admit,” I finished softly, my pride hurting as I shared this truth. “He saved me from—from everyone.”

“Even yourself?”

“Yeah,” I whispered. “I wish he hadn’t have had a need to save me; I wish bounty hunters didn’t exist, the government didn’t see us as some abomination. We were just seen as people who can make things better. What makes us so different we can’t be left alone? We always have to look over our shoulders wondering when we have to uproot next. It isn’t fair,” I asserted, holding his jade eyes, searching for answers, afraid of what I might find.

“It’s not their fault,” Nick said quietly, slipping from the footbridge and standing in the water. He didn’t look at me as he said, “Bounty hunters are in a similar boat.”

“It is their fault, Nick,” I cried, not holding anything back. He couldn’t take their side; I wouldn’t allow him to. “After that hunter left, I was terrified of who was watching. It killed me inside not being able to be who I was—who I am. I didn’t know when another might show up, or if he would be so obviously a bounty hunter. You have no idea what it’s like running all the time from someone you can’t be sure is even there. It’s terrifying and nerve-wracking and a thousand other things—constantly; it’s so consummately exhausting trying to figure out who’s a step ahead and who’s still back in square one.”

“I know!” Nick shouted, turning around and grabbing my shoulders. “You don’t know what it’s like to have the government breathing down your neck all because they think you’re one smart cookie and a possible asset.”

Nick stopped suddenly, breathing heavily, but terror obvious on his face. He let go of me and turned away again, running a hand through his hair. It took a couple of cycles to comprehend exactly what he had just said. Pain and anger flooded me. I really had ruined everything. And Nick—the person I thought was on my side—had let me believe a lie.

“Why,” I began, my voice trembling, “if you love me, did you never tell me before you were a bounty hunter?”

He whipped around and reached out to me, trying to comfort me or assure himself it wasn’t as bad as I made it sound.

“Get away from me!” I shouted, leaving him and my shoes behind, afraid I might do something I would regret while the ferocity was still fresh. And to think I had been afraid of what he might think of me.