Vampiric: Chapter Eight, Part 5

Despite Ian sleeping in the living room, and my promise to Caroline to stay healthy, I still couldn’t sleep. I honestly did try. The first couple of days after our conversation, I would lie down and close my eyes, wanting sleep to come. But it didn’t. At least not without Drei. And though I didn’t mind seeing him in my thoughts—not dreams since I wasn’t sleeping—I couldn’t stand to see him the way he appeared: furious and uninterested. I always opened my eyes before he started shouting at me about lying.

Instead, I used Ian’s presence as an excuse to experiment more. The first was a staircase of air down to the rooftop garden. I had used air to move objects, and even force people away, so solidity wasn’t a problem. What I wanted to see is if I was capable of concentrating while moving. The only problem I really had was that the staircase had to wrap around the enclosure to be tall enough to reach from my window to the garden three stories down. Though this did take a lot more concentration to hold it together, I worked with it for a few nights until I almost completely lost focus and fell a story.

In an attempt to make the trip shorter, I tried an elevator like form. Walking onto a platform of air, I would move it downward until I could step off. I used that mostly, though there was something else I was curious to try. Part of me was certain it wouldn’t work, though that didn’t stop me from wanting to try sometime. It just wouldn’t be soon.

Once in the garden, I would sit there, noticing how it didn’t quite smell like him. There weren’t enough kinds of flowers, nor were they in the right proportions. Nothing could compare to that scent. It was strange how he hadn’t been near his garden in years, but the odor was stained into his skin; it defined him. I wondered if I was the only one who smelled it or not, and if that was just memory or if he really did still radiate that luscious scent.

When I worked up the courage, I would also go down to the park and walk around, occasionally finding a grove or some enclosure to lie down in. Often times I would close my eyes and imagine he was beside me. That he wasn’t angry and he still loved me. It was those times I fell asleep and finally dreamed that something was right in my life. I would dream when I woke up, I was really just falling asleep to a nightmare.

The nights when I did sleep, I would wake sometime after sunrise and return to the apartment. Both Caroline and Ian were gone by then, so I would change and take a cab to work.

“What were you doing?” Caroline asked the first time it had happened.

“Sleeping.”

“Seriously?” She leveled her gaze at me, a slight threat behind her bronze eyes.

“Really.” She left it at that and didn’t ask again, content I was at least trying to comply with her request.

It wasn’t long until I finished re-filing everything in her office. I quickly became accustomed to her calling me in to explain where something was. We were all three extremely busy over those two weeks prepping for the next broadcast. Usually we had a month or so in between, but to set one up in half the time ended up being a lot more work than expected. Caroline even hired more help for between the broadcasts—granted it was only two more people who only knew their job.

She had me helping her research more information for her next speech. It was a pleasant distraction from the nightmare. We would sit up in her office sharing strange and bizarre bits of information that wound its way into our research. Occasionally, we even shared a laugh and would then pull Ian upstairs to join us.

It was weird to laugh again. There was still a hole where my heart had been, and I was still hurting, but by some miracle, I could laugh. Maybe it was a sign that I was reaching that point where it would stop hurting as much. I could hope, right?

Vampiric: Chapter Eight, Part 4

“You’re up,” Caroline said, pulling open the curtains to let a flood of sunlight in.

Shielding my eyes, I realized I was in her apartment. But that didn’t make sense. The day after the broadcast, I went to work as usual, and the last thing I remembered was trying to locate the pile of applications. “What happened?” I asked, sitting up.

“You tell me;” she sat at the foot of the bed, crossing her legs and interlacing her fingers; the tips of her fingers turned white. Her hair was thrown up into a sloppy bun and she didn’t appear to be wearing makeup.

Why did my head hurt? It had hurt since before I sat up, but I couldn’t figure out why. I wasn’t particularly susceptible to headaches. “I don’t know…the last thing I remember was working.”

“That’s the last thing you were doing—before you passed out.” She pressed her lips into a thin line.

“What?” How was that possible? I hadn’t even been tired…not that I remembered anyway. Though, if I had hit my head, that would explain the headache.

“When was the last time you slept, Abs?” Caroline asked.

Looking away, mentally preparing for whatever yell-fest my answer brought, I muttered, “I don’t remember.”

“Don’t mutter now,” she said sternly, her voice laced with the anger she was keeping at bay. “You’ve never had a problem speaking to me before, don’t you dare start now, Abs.”

“I don’t remember. Probably before—” His name stuck in my throat and I couldn’t force it out. It felt like if I did, I would start falling apart again. “Before I came here.”

“Jesus, Abs,” Caroline whispered, her visage falling. She reached a hand to her face, a finger resting across the bridge of her nose and her thumb on her left temple. “Why didn’t you tell me you couldn’t sleep? I have sleeping pills and stuff; I used to have bouts of insomnia;” her body was tense with the effort required to restrain her anger. Caroline stood, beginning to pace along the foot of the bed. “What were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t, okay?” I said, wishing she would just leave it alone. I had screwed up, great. We both knew it. Could we move onto item two of her agenda?

“What were you doing instead of sleeping?” She stopped her pacing to stare at me, hands on her hips. Some of her hair had fallen out of her messy bun and she batted it over her shoulder.

“I went to the park mostly, to walk around,” I said, avoiding her gaze, hoping she would get a clue and leave. Seriously, it wasn’t like I had starved myself. I avoided thinking how I wouldn’t have been able to make even that claim if she hadn’t ensured I ate on a semi-regular basis.

“Why?”

“I don’t know;” I shrugged. “When I got there, it felt like I was trying to find something.”

“Something or someone?”

I ignored the question; I didn’t know the answer anyway. When I didn’t say anything, she prompted, “What did you find, then?”

“The moon;” I met her bronze eyes for the first time that morning.

“The moon?” Her tone revealed her skepticism even as she struggled to keep her face neutral. I didn’t expect her to understand, and I wasn’t up to explaining. It was too complicated and involved too much that she wouldn’t—didn’t understand. Nothing I said could change that, just like nothing I said could make him listen.

Sitting at the foot of the bed again, she took my hands in each of hers. When I met her gaze again, the copper disks seemed to burn into me, trying to understand me while attempting to make me see reason.

“Abs, you need to sleep at night,” she said slowly as if speaking to a child about monsters in the closet. “You’re my secretary, and my friend, and I need you to be healthy. I can’t have you passing out for days on end—you’ve been out about two days if you were curious.” I hated how everyone thought I was curious about how long I passed out at one time. “So to stop you from sneaking out, I’m going to ask Ian to stay over the next couple of weeks. He’s a light sleeper, so don’t even try to leave. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Now go back to sleep. I want you in top shape tomorrow and back to work. We have a broadcast in a couple weeks and I need my office back.” She smiled at that, as though teasing. I found it chellenging to smile back.

“No worries, Abs. I’ll have you smiling again in no time,” she said, squeezing my hand.

“Will it ever stop hurting?” I asked, tearing my gaze and hands away from hers. It was a question I had been tossing around for a long while. I wanted—no, needed—to know the answer. Every time I let myself try to sort through it, attempt coming to terms with everything that had happened, it was unbearably painful and I had to stop. I had to find some distraction, like work or lies.

“Will what stop hurting?” Her smile faded in her confusion. Then her features brightened and I knew she realized what it was I was asking. She hugged me but she didn’t otherwise respond.

“Will it?” I repeated, needing the answer. Now that it was in the open, it felt like I could function somewhat normally someday if I had the answer. If it was the answer I wanted to believe but didn’t seem able to.

Caroline replied, “You can only hope it will.”

So hope was the answer. It didn’t seem very promising, but it was better than being told no. Thinking back on those days, that year in general, hope was all I had—despite being in amazingly short supply. The future seemed a touch brighter so long as I was clinging to hope.

Vampiric: Chapter Eight, Part 3

The night of the broadcast, Caroline took Ian and me out to a restaurant for dinner, her way of ensuring I was going to eat something. She may not have noticed my sleeplessness, but she had noticed my eating habits. They discussed if everything had been triple checked and if there were enough cars to carry everyone. According to all the files I had looked over the past weeks, the group had expanded considerably—at least quadruple the size it had been at the first broadcast; we were large enough to be seen as a real force of reckoning.

We were back at headquarters before most had arrived, but a few people were milling about anxiously. Caroline reminded me I could work up in the office some more if I wanted, but Ian would fill in for me tonight. She didn’t believe I was emotionally ready for the task.

As I walked toward the stairs to the office, I noticed Drei standing in the shadows, hands buried in his pockets. Before I knew what I was doing, I was in front of him, feeling something for a change. Feeling anything was frightening and a relief.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, trying to keep the sudden press of tears at bay. “But nothing happened. I should have talked to you about it sooner, but I swear it’s not what you think.”

He looked over my head and then to the left as though scanning the thin collection of early birds.

“Listen to me,” I cried, forcing him to face me even if I couldn’t force him to see me, to acknowledge me. “You’re wrong, Drei. Okay? For once, you’re wrong.”

“I am not mistaken,” he said icily, refusing to meet my gaze.

A burst of air pinned him against the wall, and I was there, standing inches from him. Anger and hurt raced through my veins and logical thought failed me. I wasn’t even sure what I was doing, or planning to do. “You are. Just listen to me, will you?”

“There is nothing for me to hear.” He turned his face away from me.

“That’s not true!” I shouted, wanting to make him listen. He had looked at me when I started to assert myself, maybe he’d listen if I did something else. If I didn’t give him any other choice, I could force him to face me…see me…hear me. Maybe even believe me. Instead of just being stuck in his own head and his own pool of pity, too blind to see the damage he was causing.

Caroline interrupted, stepping between us and forcing me away from him.

“Just let it go, Abs. Let it go; it’s easier;” she ducked her head around to try blocking my view of him.

I fought to move around her, to close the gap she was creating, but it was half-hearted at best; I didn’t want to hurt her. “He needs to listen to me,” I cried, tears searing my cheeks.

“No, Abs. He doesn’t want to and you can’t force him,” she said sternly. “All you can do is leave him alone.”

“But I can’t,” I argued, wishing she’d go away. I didn’t need her to tell me what I was doing; I could figure that out for myself if I really wanted to. With the tears, though, the anger was draining quickly and, with it, the last of my energy.

She led me up to her office, sitting me down in the chair and squatting before me; she wrapped her hands around mine. “Work, if that’s what helps,” she ordered. She bit her inside cheek as if holding back some other choice comments. I guess she figured one of us had to rational and that wasn’t going to be me. “Trying to change him isn’t going to do anything except hurt you more.”

I tried to tell myself she didn’t know what she was talking about, but she was right. I had been fine feeling nothing, and now I felt like I was just in a new mess altogether. So nodding, I quietly said, “I won’t leave the office until you’re all gone.”

“Good,” she said, relief washing from her. “This is in your best interest, Abs. I’m not trying to be a bully, you know.”

“I know.” I wasn’t able to meet her gaze. I would have told her it was hard, start to let her help me a little, but I couldn’t. It seemed every time I let someone in, something went wrong. They either left me or told me to leave them, always after they hurt me.

Despite my earlier intention of doing some more sorting, I couldn’t bring myself to move from the chair. For a while I just stared at the stacks of paper everywhere, trying to figure out why I had approached him. What had I expected to happen? When I didn’t find an answer to that, I listened to the pre-show jitters downstairs, letting their words drown out my thoughts. It was easier than actually thinking. Thinking was dangerous for me. Who knew what I would do? I certainly didn’t.

After the cars all drove into the distance, I left the office, deciding to walk back to the apartment. The cool night air calmed me a little, and the hidden stars seemed to twinkle louder than usual, as if trying to comfort me; the moon watched, and I let her. When she felt the time was right, she would do something, I guessed. So I questioned how long that would be. How long until I could hold him again and know he loved me?

Vampiric: Chapter Eight, Part 2

Caroline offered to give me a week or so off from work, but I knew there was still so much to get done before the broadcast. So when she refused to drive me—not that I complained—I hailed a cab most of the way and walked the rest. I needed to do something to occupy my mind and time; I would go insane from the unanswered questions and instant replay if I didn’t.

To say she was livid when I showed up would be hugely inaccurate. She was way past that. I could tell by the fireball that was hurled towards me, barely missing my head. That, and the storm of yelling that followed, summing up to basically question why I was so hardheaded. When she shushed long enough for me to say anything, I simply told her, “I need this.” I could only hope she would understand how painful it was sitting in her apartment alone.

“Fine;” her arms, previously crossed over her chest, dropped to her sides. “But I’m not giving you any work.” Turning to Ian, who stood behind her, watching the goings-on with a mixture of confusion and interest, she said, “And you won’t either.”

“Then I’ll find something.” She nodded and began listing things they still needed to do before Saturday night as Ian followed her to another area of the building.

Left to my own devices, I made my way into her office, a project already in mind. When I’d had to file the charts I redid, I remembered thinking her cabinets were a mess and it was a miracle she could find anything. The chaos probably stemmed back to Conan; I doubted he was much concerned with keeping her organized.

So I set to work, pulling all of the files, emptying the folders, and re-sorting the papers into stacks around the room. At one point, I decided I should start stuffing folders again, so I went out to buy a few multi-color packs to help further organize everything.

The project took up my time during the day. Trying to determine where everything belonged was all that mattered. I wasn’t hungry so I often skipped meals without trying. Caroline stopped in occasionally during the week with food and sat down, telling me I had to eat something. I would eat some of it while listening to her talk about what was happening and ask if I needed anything. Every time my answer was the same: no. I was fine. Don’t worry about me. But I knew the more I said it, the less she believed it.

After the first day, she gave me rides there and back, her reasoning being she couldn’t stop me, so she might as well save me the cab fare. The morning trip was laced with conversation, mostly her prying and trying to coerce me into dealing with what had happened. It didn’t work because I wouldn’t let it. I wasn’t ready to deal with it. I just needed more time.

My nights were spent outside. I would wait until she was fast asleep before sneaking out. Sometimes I went out to the rooftop garden—I was drawn to it despite how painful a reminder was. Other times I would find a park and walk around aimlessly. On those walks, I often felt as though I was looking for something in the trees, searching for someone in the clearings, hoping for one thing or another to lead me away from this half existence. The only thing I ever found was the moon.

When I saw her hanging in the sky, Jake’s words returned to me from all those years ago, from the night before he left the camp to return home. Drei had struck some deal with the Lady of the Moon, keeper of promises. I didn’t know what he had promised, or if she was doing her part in it, but every night I was out there, I asked of her the same thing.

“Bring him back to me...please. I can’t keep living like this.”

I would stare after her until she began to disappear over the horizon. Then I would sneak back into Caroline’s apartment, pretending to have just woken up. She didn’t know I left at night; she didn’t know I couldn’t sleep. It was just another reminder that no one could replace him; it was also a painful reminder of how much and how little he really knew about me.

Vampiric: Chapter Eight, Part 1

Chapter Eight: Facing the Devil

“There’s no question about it,” Caroline was saying as she swerved in and out of traffic. Riding with her made me better respect Ian’s fast-paced driving; at least he wasn’t narrowly escaping an accident every two seconds. “You’re staying with me. I’ll even pick up your stuff from that place.”

I didn’t object, though the accommodations weren’t preferable. I hadn’t said anything since she had picked me up. No more tears would come, either. Even though I felt I could justify hating her, I didn’t. I think in part because when she had arrived, she didn’t start bossing. She just sat next to me, whispering the words I had tried to believe, rubbing my back to quell my tears. I think part of it was also due to the fact I didn’t feel anything at the moment. After the tears had stopped, I felt empty. There wasn’t anger or sadness, fear or a sense of hopelessness. There wasn’t even that feeling of dread I had been harboring the past months. Although that should have made me feel worse, there was only the familiar void of nothingness. That may have been partly due to some subconscious fear of completely shattering, a precaution my mind had taken to keep me somewhat together.

Caroline gazed at me, barely missing a red pickup in front of us, her dust filling with the far off sound of angry honking. “You should be able to fit my clothes;” she turned back to the road. “You can wear my things until I get yours.”

It wasn’t long before she drove into a parking garage attached to an all brick apartment building with large balconies lined with wrought iron railing. I didn’t ask; I didn’t honestly care to know. That didn’t stop her from saying, “This is what I call home at night. Unexpected, I know, but also complicated.”

Following her, my gaze settled just high enough to watch her shoes—a pair of high tops covered in a collection of colorful artwork reminiscent of graffiti.

“You can stay in this room,” she said pushing open a door just inside her apartment. “I’m just down the hall if you need anything.”

I sidled past her into the room. It was a decent space with a full sized bed completely made up in dark blues and stark whites. A cedar hope chest sat at the foot, turtle doves carved nestling against each other inside a wreath of intricately swirling vines. In the corner by the window was a cedar bureau decorated in a similar pattern of vines. From the window, a rooftop garden was visible, but I couldn’t stand to look at it—Drei used to keep a garden. I pulled the navy curtains closed.

“And Abriel,” Caroline said, still standing outside the doorway. I turned to face her. “It will get easier to live without him.” Tapping the doorframe lightly with her left-hand fingers, she slipped away, leaving me alone again.

I wasn’t yet sure which I preferred, but I sat on the bed, staring at the swirling embroidery of the curtains. The answers to my questions weren’t there, but it didn’t stop me from looking and hoping. The question I most wanted an answer to was “Why?”

Vampiric: Chapter Seven, Part 12

Drei was back to disappearing before I could catch him, and I couldn’t miss anymore of Caroline’s calls without some repercussion. I hated that this was what we had been reduced to. We might as well have been time sharers.

It was a week before the next broadcast when we finally happened to be there at the same time. I was just arriving home from another meeting. Drei was sitting on the couch reading a newspaper.

“Can we talk?” I asked cautiously, hanging my purse on a rung of the coat rack.

Drei gazed at me a long moment before setting his paper down. Sitting across from him, I asked the first and most important question I had thought of: “What happened?” His brow furrowed, and before he could demand some clarification, I added, “Between us. Why are you avoiding me and angry, and cold all of the time? What did I do?”

“You are not aware?” he asked quietly, his amethyst eyes flat and stony. I hadn’t seen his eyes so cold since Nick had been at camp. And even then, they had rarely been directed at me.

“I wouldn’t even know where to begin guessing.”

“Let me give you a few clues, then;” the ice in his tone suggested I really had done something and, whatever it was, it could not be easily forgiven. “Our arrival here your first day back? Your new position? Still no? Then you leave me for her. In the middle of something intimate—for me, at least.”

“Caroline? What does she have to do with anything?”

“It is more painful to lie, Abriel;” his features were stoic though his voice betrayed pain and anger. “I witnessed you kiss her that day. This promotion, the phone calls, they are all a ruse. You can tell me.”

“But it isn’t. Nothing happens. I don’t even know—”

“You do not have to lie or justify it. Just be honest.”

“But I’m not lying;” I felt tears press at my eyes and my throat start to tighten. My mouth felt dry and I could barely swallow.

“I have trusted for years what I see. I am not about to change that because you want me to.” He stood, turning away from me. So this really was all her fault. She was the reason he was tearing my heart out of his chest.

“I’m not lying,” I choked, drowning in the accusations and clues and thoughts flooding my mind.

“Just admit it!” He turned suddenly, grabbing the arm rests of my chair. His flaming and vibrantly dark eyes were inches from mine.

“I can’t. Not when you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You love her, just say it! Stop lying to me. Stop pretending your affections belong to me. Just stop it all!”

I covered my mouth and shook my head, trying to contain my anguish and shake out all of the hurtful words. “I’m working for her because of you…because I love you. You told me I needed her; you told me to go back to work for her because she needed me.”

“I did not think you would make a relationship of it.” He pushed off from the chair; though he stood upright, his head was bowed and his shoulder slumped.

“I did it for you. I love you…so I did what you wanted.”

“Your fickleness is not something I desire,” he whispered, turning away.

I bit my lip. He wouldn’t listen; he was too stubborn and set in his belief of this. If he knew me at all, how could he possibly think this about me? It didn’t seem probable in the least. I think that’s what hurt the most. He didn’t know me well enough to trust I wasn’t lying to him.

Trying to hold myself together, I asked, “Do you want me to leave?”

Slowly shuffling away, he didn’t bother to turn back to me. “It might be for the best.”

Unable to stand looking back, I grabbed my purse and shoes and ran from the apartment, still trying to keep it together by forcing myself to breathe slowly, but my chest was too tight and the air seemed too thin.

Outside, I sat on a bench, staring at the blurred phone in my hand. Caroline and Ian were the only other people I knew around there. But Caroline had started all of this and Ian was her friend. It would feel like an admission of guilt to call and ask for their support. For their help. Yet, I didn’t have anywhere else to go.

Before I could make up my mind to do anything, the phone sang out its piano melody.

“Look,” Caroline began before I could say anything. “A problem came up with one of the people we chose, so we have to pick someone else.”

I tried to answer, I really did. I was determined not to cry on the phone to her, not even sure I wanted her help. She was partially responsible for this and I hadn’t begun to think through how I felt about that.

“Where are you?”

Realizing the depth of the situation, I couldn’t help but break down into tears. Drei didn’t love me because I had done what he had wanted. I didn’t have a place to stay anymore. To top things off, my heart was shattered by the one person I never thought could hurt me. Who would never willingly choose to hurt me.

“Abs?” She sounded worried. I wished I could tell her I was fine, but I couldn’t stop the gasping sobs shaking my body. It didn’t feel like I had any control left over anything. “Oh, god, Abs,” she said into the phone, her voice tremulous. “I’ll be there as soon as I can. Don’t move.” The phone fell from my hand as I sat there, crying, hugging myself, and trying to keep the rest of me from shattering as well.

Vampiric: Chapter Seven, Part 11

Purposely taking up more time, I wrote a note and pinned it to his door, insisting we needed to talk, even if he had to wake me up. Then, walking at nearly a maddeningly slow pace, I made my way outside and slipped into the passenger seat.

“Take long enough?” Ian asked jovially, speeding off.

“Sorry if I’m not Little Miss Sunshine;” I stared out the window.

“Something wrong already?”

“You obviously wouldn’t understand.” Although he tried to make small talk—possibly an attempt to cheer me up before we met Caroline—I ignored him, adding another thing on my list why I wished I had never met her.

The meeting was to finalize our employee list—since she was adding a few more, but had interviewed probably 20 people—and for her to thank me for redoing the charts—finally finished and filed.

All I could think of doing was going back to the apartment and waiting up for Drei. I didn’t care if he didn’t return until the next day or if Caroline called a hundred times before then. I set up camp on the couch, my phone off and charging, the lights off, and my mind racing. I only wished we could work this out; unfortunately, I wasn’t sure anymore if he wanted the same thing.

Around midnight, there was a knock on the door, which I ignored. Drei had a key; he wouldn’t need me to let him in. He probably wouldn’t assume I’d be there to do so. I continued staring into space. A few hours later, another knock came, louder and more insistent. Around the time the sky began to lighten, Drei entered.

“We need to talk,” I said, rising to face him. Then I noticed Ian standing behind him.

“A shame work came calling.” Drei, not even seeming disappointed, went straight to his room and closed the door, letting the note hang there unnoticed.

“Have you been here all bloody night?” Ian cried, immediately on his phone.

With nothing else I could do, shy of breaking down his door and locking Ian out, I picked up the fully charged phone and turned it on, greeted by fifty messages; there were probably more missed calls than that.

“I’m with her now,” Ian said, pacing in the entranceway. “Yes. We’re going now,” he said, shooting me a tight-lipped look; I hadn’t thought it was possible to anger Ian.

Needless to say, Caroline was pissed because my phone was shut off and, according to her, she had been worried sick about me. I didn’t care. My relationship was falling apart; Drei was a complete stranger to me anymore. When I had first met him, we hadn’t been this foreign to each other. And what was worse, I didn’t know how to fix it. I wasn’t sure there was a way. So as Caroline droned on, berating me in between explaining why she had wanted us there, I was debating if I could even try anymore. If it was possible for me to take anymore.

Vampiric: Chapter Seven, Part 10

The following morning, Drei still wasn’t back, but it didn’t take long for Caroline to call me. Ian picked me up shortly after and drove to the same place as the night before. In the sunlight, it looked even more desolate, as though it might collapse if you sneezed at it.

This time she was waiting for us when he parked. A heap of folders and papers were tossed into my arms the minute I was standing upright.

“Those are the charts. It has everyone’s positions on them as well as their profiles and what we know about each one. This is your copy. If you change or add anything, you have to do the same with my copy,” she said, hands on her hips, staring at the pile in my arms. “There’s some other stuff in there, too. Mostly information and assignments on the next broadcast. You’ll have to make printouts for every person working that night to hand out beforehand. Well, everyone who has something specific or important written in the assignments folder.”

She started to walk off in the opposite direction of her office, Ian following a step behind, before she turned back. “I almost forgot,” she said, smiling in her carefree way, tossing me a key. “Don’t lose it,” she warned. “It’s to my office. You should get acquainted with where everything is. If I can’t find something,” she said, turning back around and walking off again, “it’s you I call.”

Thus was the official start of my new secretarial responsibilities. After acquainting myself with her files—realizing how disorganized she was—I sat down to her computer to begin typing out the assignment sheets. Those, once printed, went into a new folder so I wouldn’t lose them. When I was done with that, I crammed what I could into my purse and, carrying the rest, left, walking to the nearest working bus stop and hitching a ride back to the apartment.

Drei was asleep in his room, a heavy blanket over the window to block out what the curtains didn’t. I left him alone, wishing he would be around and awake so we could talk about what was bothering him—I sensed it was something more than my needing to leave abruptly the previous night. I was starting to believe Caroline was right and he was letting something stew instead of talking to me about it, possibly whatever had happened to make him dislike her.

I sat at the coffee table and began reading through the papers. I didn’t know who had put them together, but it was a mess that was quickly driving me as crazy as Mom. Stopping just before reaching a point of wanting to tear my hair out, I left and returned an hour later with paper and colored pens. I was going to scrap the old charts after I remade them.

Those charts took a week. Not because they were particularly difficult, but because, originally, there were eight charts with all of the positions and first names written in. I simplified the charts for future use, only marking down the positions and creating a separate chart for each group of people. Also, I made sheets detailing the positions of each person in any set. That was the most time consuming, mostly because once I had two sets made—one copy for Caroline, one for me—I had to make a copy for each person on the list. True, there was probably some computer program I could have used, and perhaps I would do so later on, but working by hand filled the long, lonely hours and kept my mind busy.

Every night during that week, I fell asleep on the couch. Without fail, Caroline would wake me up by calling. There were a total of 17 calls from her, four of which were while I was working in her office; those meetings covered everything from the location of the next broadcast to new employees and security. While I saw plenty of her and Ian, I didn’t see Drei unless he was asleep. His waking presence was apparent, though; when she did wake me, I found someone had covered me with a blanket. Despite this, I failed to ever come across him. Needing to speak with him, but unable to, I focused even more on finishing the charts.

The next broadcast was still a couple weeks away when Drei and I were finally home at the same time. I had just woken up—surprisingly, it wasn’t because of Caroline. Still slightly groggy, I heard him walking past rather than saw him.

“Wait;” I reached blindly out with one hand, the other still clearing sleep from my eyes.

Sitting up, I watched him shrug into his coat and reach for the door; I did the only thing I could to stop him from leaving. Manipulating the air, I shoved his hand aside.

“I said wait.”

He tried again, and this time I wasn’t as nice.  Shoving him sideways into the kitchenette, I stood and was soon blocking his way out.

“We need to talk.”

“What about?” he questioned grudgingly, his eyes frighteningly cold.

“Well…” I had been waiting for this moment but had failed to develop any specific questions. “For starters, why are you avoiding me?”

“I have not been avoiding you,” he said, though he shifted his weight from foot to foot and wouldn’t meet my eyes.

“I didn’t think you’d lie to me about that,” I whispered, shoving my hair behind an ear. “I haven’t seen you in over a week.”

“We have both been busy.”

“Amazing how you’re suddenly busy after I get promoted,” I snapped before I could stop myself. I dragged my fingers through my hair, breathing deeply. “That’s not what I meant to say.” This was already going so wrong and now I was trying to make it out to be a power trip? Slumping against one of the cabinets and hiding my face, I tried to think of something to say that would help fix this all. “I—Drei—”

My phone started ringing.

“You had better answer. Caroline does not strike me as particularly patient.”

“We still need to talk,” I said, knowing he was right.

“Then do not answer.” When I didn’t move—partially pissed off he could even suggest that—he added, “You know you want to.”

“I don’t want to,” I said, hating the constricted feeling of my throat. Caroline was ruining what could have been a healing moment for Drei and I, something we wouldn’t need if she had never come into our lives.

“Then do not answer.”

Though I knew I needed to, I debated which I needed to do more: talk with Drei or answer Caroline. Just before the ringer quit, I answered, hearing Drei’s disappointed sigh. I didn’t see how he had a right to be disappointed when he was being the difficult one.

“Can you give me half an hour?”

“If we are going to discuss anything,” Drei said behind me, “we shall need more than half an hour.”

“No,” Caroline replied shortly. “I need you now. That’s why I’m calling now.”

“Please,” I begged, knowing I needed to at least spend some time talking with Drei.

“What could be more important than me needing you here?” she asked, a note of incredulity to her voice.

I wanted to tell her there were a lot of things more important, but I couldn’t. Not without unleashing her full wrath—or mine, for that matter. Instead, I said, “This, Caroline. Please.”

“No, and Ian will be there shortly;” she hung up.

“You act as though you did not expect as much.”

Despite my growing frustration with him, I wrapped my arms around him, trying to think of something to say. Trying to convince myself I wouldn’t go…not now. Even though he was stiff in my arms, I didn’t let go; I couldn’t so long as I believed there might be a chance—even if it was in hell.

“It is apparent both of us must be going, so let us not delay.” With that, he broke my embrace and disappeared again, slipping through my fingers.

Vampiric: Chapter Seven, Part 9

Ian drove to a poorer side of town. Ghostly windows stared down from the abandoned buildings we passed, some of them boarded up. I hadn’t known a place like this existed in the city, devoid of life. If I hadn’t been as furious as I was, the despair around us probably would have consumed me. Only once before had I been in a place so desolate, and though I didn’t enjoy returning to such a setting, this was for business, not pleasure.

We drove turned onto a side road behind a warehouse-like building; the building and glimpse of the parking lot I caught seemed large enough to fill a city block alone. Ian drove the car up a makeshift ramp leading inside from a loading dock. The headlights lit up a collection of black cars and tinted windows, most of which were familiar from my one other encounter with them.

“Caroline will be up in her office,” he said, slipping lithely out of the car.

I scrambled after him, trying not to fall over anything while mapping the place. From what I could tell, the only items around weren’t here originally; based on how spacious it was, it had probably been a superstore at one point before the store moved with the population, leaving this place completely alone and too expensive for anyone else to buy out. The property taxes and such in this area were probably rock bottom. Then again, who would want a business where there was almost no one to sell to?

As Ian had expected, Caroline was sitting on the desk in her office, legs crossed.

“She came,” he said unnecessarily, standing off to the side of her desk.

“What did you need?” I asked, resisting the urge to tap my foot, but crossing my arms just the same. The only thought in my mind was this had better be good. I could already imagine my reaction if it wasn’t.

Caroline smiled mischievously and tapped her top foot in the air. “Don’t be so impatient, Abs. This was just a test.”

“A test?”

“What’s wrong?” she asked, a doll-like innocence in her wide eyes and slightly parted lips.

Ian sidled up to her, whispering in her ear, “You interrupted something; you should be grateful she came at all.”

“Sorry, Abs,” she said, looking completely sincere. Then her features changed into a wry smile. “But you’ll have to get used to it;” she shrugged childishly. “I had to see if you would come or not.”

“Well, I came.” My heart was hurting because of how Drei had acted, and my hands felt ready to strangle her, forget about using air. I wasn’t sure if I was going to shout or cry or both. “Can I go, now?”

“Sure, Abs. Ian, take her back. Glad you came;” she directed this last comment to me as if my loyalty to her was worth whatever I had to sacrifice.

The drive back was quiet for the most part. At first, Ian had tried apologizing for her, insisting he hadn’t known it was just a test. Nothing he could say made anything better, though. I wanted to be back in Drei’s arms. If they could give me that precious moment back—the one they so blatantly stole—I told myself I could forgive them.

But I couldn’t.

When I entered the apartment, all of the lights were off. I walked through the living room to Drei’s bedroom, but he wasn’t there. He wasn’t anywhere.

So I did the only thing I could do in any semblance of good conscience: I went to my room and cried into my pillow. Venting my anger through silent curses, and nursing my heart by lying to myself, repeating it would be all right. We could fix it. I don’t think I stopped crying even after I fell asleep. I do know I still didn’t believe myself.