“The property was engulfed in flame by the time I returned. At first I
was stunned, not understanding what was happening. Then I rushed inside,
searching for my sisters. Ashlyn and Avery were already…they were so still when
I found them. From what I could tell, they had been restless and playing a game
in the parlor. The door had been left barely open and my sisters had been pressed
against it as if that is where they had fallen. I carried their asphyxiated
corpses outside, unable to stand the thought of them burning. I ran back inside
for my parents, finding them dead and bloodied, their skin already beginning to
burn. The rancid smell was embedding itself into my skin and burning my nostrils,
so I left, unable to do anything more.
“When I returned to where I had left my sisters, she sat there, waiting;
my sisters were nowhere to be seen. She taunted me, saying I had brought this
upon them. No one refused her, and that was why they had to be taken from me. Then
she wrapped her arms around me, beginning her seductions anew. I tried to kill
her, not fully understanding what or who she was, but knowing I wanted her
dead;” his anger seeped into his words, his voice shaking again but from
emotions far more sinister than pain. “Knowing she deserved to be dead.
“I was seized from behind by two of her boys, several more circling us. She
traced a finger along my face, explaining how she loved my energy and was glad
I had made it difficult for her. Then she bit me.
“When I woke a few days later, I found she had changed me, one of her
boys explaining what that meant exactly. He said I was hers, and that meant she
could use me however she wished; then he fed me my first meal. I was shocked
when he threw the woman at me. She was bleeding from a cut in her neck and I
realized how famished I was. That woman was not my last, but each that I fed
on, I regretted later,” he said, though I wasn’t sure why he was telling me
this. Knowing he had killed people…I understood it was his condition, but it
can be difficult to see your hero as…flawed.
“Not long after my awakening, she called me to her; she promised if I
behaved she would tell me what had happened to my sisters. Where they had been
buried.” He shook his head, clutching my hand between both of his. I hadn’t
realized how painful it was for him when I had asked before. Never in my dreams
did I think it could be this horrible.
“Years passed in what seemed like days, and each time I would request
that one bit of information I wanted, she refused me. She insisted I had failed
to be attentive enough. I had yet to accomplish this for her, or that. Somehow,
I had managed to displease her. And yet I had done everything she asked of me
and more. I abandoned my humanity and buried my feelings of remorse after each hunt;
I gave her no reason to despise me. Every time she denied me, though, I grew to
loathe her more.”
Drei stopped talking and studied our hands, as though that image gave him
strength. As though it reminded him I wasn’t her, and I wasn’t here to hurt
him.
“You don’t have to tell me everything now,” I told him. His amethyst eyes
held mine, a look of disbelief obvious, as though I was missing something. And
I probably was. But how could he expect me to catch all the little things he
wasn’t saying when I was worried about what telling me this was doing to him?
“You do not understand what is happening yet,” he whispered, glancing
away again. After another moment of silence—in which I couldn’t help but wonder
why he felt it had to be done now when we had eternity—he began again. “I
overheard her speaking, one day, of how she would never tell me where they
were. She treasured my company too much. At dusk, before the rest awoke for a
night of ravaging, I killed all of them. Decapitating each one in their sleep,
and setting the place ablaze.
“I wandered then, unable to die and unable to live; I avoided feeding
until I absolutely had to, and could usually be found drunk and unmotivated,
occasionally brawling with drunken humans. It seemed the worst existence to be
stuck in…until someone came along and gave me a bit of hope.” A smile cracked
his lips. “Gloria found me brawling with a human. She told me to stop searching
and then walked away.”
“You followed her,” I said, sitting up. I wasn’t sure how long I could
stay sitting up, considering I felt light-headed and ill after doing so. Drei
perched on the edge of the mattress beside me, taking my hand in his again.
“Of course. Gloria is how I learned of elementals, clairvoyant vampires,
and about the emptiness filling me. She told me not to give up on love because
it had not given up on me. But for the meantime, I had to stop seeking it, else
it would continue to elude me. It was not until speaking with her, I even
realized love was for what I had been searching. The moment she said it,
though, I knew it was true.
“After my conversation with her, I recalled the legend of the Lady of the
Moon. She had always fascinated me, and I had studied her extensively
throughout my living days. So I vowed to her, if she would bring me love someday,
I would strive to deserve it.”
“Did you?” I asked, watching him carefully. He seemed so fragile as he
spoke, I was terrified he would break and leave me alone in this place. As
disappointed as I was that he was here to begin with, having him with me was
better than being alone.
“I am not there yet,” he chided gently, squeezing my hand again, a smile
barely visible on his lips. “Over the next few hundred years, between trying to
locate my sisters while avoiding remembering my actions, bettering myself
emotionally, and, in the past few decades, searching for and saving elementals,
I began to find a balance in my life. The anger was still there, the first
response to anything unpleasant, but it was no longer ruling alongside grief. Stoicism
was my aim, and when I came across Valetta, she seemed at first to help that
goal be attainable.
“For the longest time, I had thought she was the one I was to love. That
was when I built my garden,” he said, holding my gaze again. “It was to help
soothe unpleasantness and, in part, be a gift. Gloria stopped my
thoughtlessness. She was not the one, nor had she ever been. She provided love,
but I had none in return for her as much I longed to—which was a truth I could
not deny. I valued Valetta, but I felt obligated to behave in ways to
communicate love for her. Valetta did not handle the truth well. For many years,
she was understandably upset;” he hung his head and furrowed his brow. “I did
not mean to harm her emotions, but I could not allow us both to live
untruthfully, and she did eventually forgive me, though, as you might know, her
protectiveness is still fierce.”
“I definitely know,” I said, grinning sheepishly as I remembered how cold
she had once been toward me. It seemed like forever since I had seen her,
longer so since she had despised me.
“When Gloria first told me of you,” he continued, glancing at me again, “I
had the most remarkable urge to bring you myself. We had never harbored an air
elemental before, and I had thought that was why I was so eager. I had not
meant to contact you before you had an inkling of the changes you would
undergo, but seeing you struggle those nights to sleep, I could not help
myself. You reminded me of my sisters in your restlessness. It was not until later
I discovered how unlike them you were—are at times. How troubled and unhappy
you were, yet stuck where you had no wish to be, even if you would not admit as
much to yourself.
“Before I had reached this realization, your similarity to my sisters was
unbearable. I had not meant to…but I found myself biting you.”
“So that was you.”
“You knew all the while,” he said, as though he might have raised an
eyebrow at me had the situation been different. “I did not dare trust myself
after that. If I lost myself in thinking of my sisters, I was sure to turn you,
and that would be unacceptable. I knew that. Yet I could not help but return
occasionally and watch your growth. You were never to know I was there, but I
could not help but let myself be known when those men proved their intentions
were dishonorable. Particularly towards you.”
I brushed a lock of hair from his pale face. “Thank you for that. You
didn’t have to, but you saved me anyway.”
“But I did,” he said, shock lacing his voice. “I have already said you
reminded me of my sisters, but I had come to realize you were
different from them in so many ways. As you healed, I volunteered my stories,
hoping they would help you. And as I did, I grew more protective of you, as I
had been of my sisters, but…in a way that made little sense to me. It remained
that way until it was far too late for me to alter the situation.”
“What do you mean?” I recalled his protectiveness,
thinking of it then as unnecessary. Confusion kept clouding my thoughts and I
didn’t see how this explained anything.
“I was—am in love with you. With the Council, the
emotion is as punishable as the deed,” he said solemnly.
“Drei,” I said, smiling and trying to cheer him up. “We
don’t have to worry about them anymore.”
Drei turned from me and his whole
body seemed to sag under a new weight. “Abriel, we do.”
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