Elemental: Chapter Nine, Part 3

Drei seemed to disappear again. Every time I thought I felt his presence, it vanished in the next instant. He avoided me completely; it was horrible to think it was my own fault, despite having wanted it. I just hadn’t wanted it like this.

As the cool days of October closed in, everyone spent more time at the lake, the water elementals showing off as much as possible when Nick wasn’t around. After he caught them creating fountains, I had to tell him something. I gave him the vaguest explanation I could that ended up being more circuitous than anything else. After a while, he just stopped asking about it. The kids became stealthier and almost more untrusting of him. They started setting a watch for when he had left so they knew when to act like normal kids playing in the water again.

Around that time, I also worked out a new idea to try: manipulate the air to help me stay underwater longer. Not such a good idea. The moment I breathed in, my nose was flooded with water. Nick helped me to the shore, teasing that I should know how to swim after a summer of such activity.

I laughed and coughed, playing it off as a mistake from being momentarily distracted. It took a while to reassure him I was fine. Once I had, he went back into the lake and I strolled over to where Valetta watched, disinterested, as always.

“Why can’t I use my element in water?” I questioned, leaving no room for pretense.

Valetta smiled, as if she had expected me to figure it out sooner. To be honest, I was angry with myself for not figuring it out—or at least trying it—sooner.

“Air is less responsive in water. Because it is a liquid, the air is heavier and lazier,” she said, the teasing smile not leaving her lips. “Have you ever noticed you tend to be unhappy when it rains?”

I thought about it; when it had rained last week, I had been depressed, not in the mood to try running between the drops to spend the day with Nick. That is, until Nick came over to spend the day playing a board game he had coaxed Lily into finding for him. It felt like being a little kid again: wet, gray skies, a smiling face, and something to do.

“Well, if I have someone to spend it with, I’m not so sad.”

“When the air is heavy, so are you—emotionally, of course.”

I thought a moment on this, taking it in and comparing my experiences with this new nugget of information. “That makes sense, kind of.”

“Try not to drown yourself,” Valetta teased.

“You saw that?” I scrunched my face and vainly hoped she hadn’t.

Her eyes glinted with laughter. “I see everything.”

Elemental: Chapter Nine, Part 2

Toward the end of summer, after another afternoon of swimming races, I was half-running to my cabin, freezing in my wet swimsuit; it was remarkable how much cooler it was in the shade. At the top of the stairs, I found Drei leaning against the door. A blush crossed his cheeks before he turned away. My cheeks burned and were no doubt crimson; I felt exposed wearing only a towel and bathing suit. If my mind hadn’t gone blank just then, it may have questioned why I felt nearly naked before Drei but perfectly comfortable around Nick in the same outfit.

“We need to discuss something, Abriel.” From his tone, I knew I wouldn’t like what we had to discuss. But I wanted to talk to him just so I could listen to his voice again. Until he had said anything, I hadn’t realized how much I missed the sound of his voice. There was a mature, secure nature to it that Nick just didn’t have in his.

When I had pulled my damp hair into a bun and changed into dry clothing, I invited Drei in, settling on the rocking chair. He opted to stand, despite my offer for him to sit.

“Your relationship with Nick worries me, Abriel,” Drei started, regarding me carefully.

I shook my head gently. “I already told you, Drei—”

“Let me speak, please?” His eyes closed as if it pained him to have to ask. Then remembering how everyone else listened whenever he opened his mouth, I understood. I was the only one who ever interrupted him; I didn’t know why that was either. It wasn’t like I had an excuse.

“Okay,” I said, hoping he wouldn’t take it to mean I was open to his negativity.

“We have been researching the fire his family died in,” Drei said slowly. “The culprit is whom we believed it to be, and now we are questioning why they would target Nick. Something is not right with him; you must have noticed how the others react to him as of late. In all my years, I have yet to see them distance themselves so. He is not an elemental and we do not know what his motives may be.”

“He’s not going to hurt anyone, Drei.” I breathed slowly, trying to remain rational and calm, but feeling protective. “Nick isn’t the government; he isn’t a bounty hunter. You just don’t like the fact that we’re perfectly content spending time together. You were a better person when I was lonely all the time.”

“You do not understand, Abriel; that is not the matter—”

“Are you okay with the fact that Nick and I like each other?” I interrupted, unable to just listen anymore. Though he insisted it wasn’t the issue, I couldn’t help feeling it was a large part of it. Even more so for his objections.

Drei bit his tongue, his face stoic but his thoughts a chaotic mess surrounding him. “No,” he admitted, barely a whisper. “I detest the thought of you enjoying the wretch’s company.”

“Well I do, Drei. And I’m sorry you can’t be okay with it.” I looked down at my feet. There was nothing I wanted more than for him to be happy for us; it was only fair. I was happy for him and Valetta, as much as I wished I didn’t have to be some days.

“I wish you would consider the possibility that his intentions are not consummately noble,” Drei practically begged. I had never heard him like that before and it was weird. He had always been the one in control. The one who was calm and knew exactly what to do. It had never seemed possible he might beg for anything.

“I never ignore you, Drei,” I replied softly, still unable to face him. “I always think about what you say, even if I don’t agree with it.” My gaze focused out the window on the sparkling lake, how it seemed to mock me again.

“I realize this,” he said. Another thing I didn’t quite understand was how we could both know so much about each other and, simultaneously, so very little.

The air filled with sorrow and, when Drei left, I realized a great deal of it was my own.

Elemental: Chapter Nine, Part 1

Chapter Nine: Free Falling

I woke up hearing Mikael moving around in the next room, forgetting for a moment I had fallen asleep in Nick’s arms, and he in mine. Nothing had happened; it had surprised me—to be quite honest—he was so respectful of my wishes, considering how Richie had been.

Nick sighed in his sleep, his heart beating against my cheek.

In that moment, I knew I had chosen correctly. There was nothing I would trade for that morning. His heart pulsed steadily, an arm draped protectively about me. I didn’t regret my decision and it felt like, for the first time, I had done something right.

***

Summer passed in a flurry of new love and hopes. The children indulged in swimming and forgot their games of colder weather. Most days, they were required to do lessons—Valetta’s idea to do “summer sprint sessions” as she put it. The reasoning being they were all talented learners, and deserved more freedom during the day. During the summer, they would give up three hours after lunch to study various subjects. Two hours after dinner were reserved for studying and homework. It really was ingenious the way they had set it up, and all busywork was practically eliminated. The only reason I could grasp why they studied in the summer was to ensure the children were inside during the worst of the heat; otherwise, that part didn’t quite make sense to me.

Nick and I weren’t required to attend since we were both high school free. We spent those hours exploring or sunbathing—more I was sunbathing and he was splashing around nearby before pulling me in with him. I had never known summer to be so full of happiness. There was not one moment I was distressed or felt as though I had betrayed Drei. It was shocking, considering how I had expected to feel.

As far as I could tell, Drei didn’t care. He wasn’t around much anyway, which I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. But I guessed he could listen once in a while.

Elemental: Chapter Eight, Part 7

Nick opened the door and I kissed him.

After Valetta had left, I waited until the lights went out in all of the windows except Nick’s. He never went to sleep with everyone else, and thus was the reason he often slept until the end of breakfast. His timing was impeccable in that sense; he always managed to arrive just before they cleared away all the food.

“What’s this?” he asked when I stepped back from him. I could feel the heat in my cheeks and my heart pounding; my brain, for once, was not thinking about tomorrow.

“I don’t need any more time.”

The smile on his face was invitation enough. He wrapped strong arms around me as I closed the gap between us.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” I said, kissing him to stop any further conversation.

As we kissed under the new moon, I could have sworn someone was watching us. Someone depressed and disappointed, but I blocked it out, feeling confident I was doing what was best.

Elemental: Chapter Eight, Part 6

Valetta visited again the last day. I had suspected she might and was glad she hadn’t disappointed.

“How goes the solitude?” she questioned, sitting at the foot of my bed.

I sat up, legs crossed Indian style, resting the book I had been reading in my lap. “It’s not long enough,” I replied, wishing she could just tell me the right answer.

“You know Drei is concerned about you.”

“I’m aware of that; received a whole night of arguing about it, actually,” I said, sounding a touch more exasperated than I had meant.

“He is worried your mentality and emotionality are too fragile to make proper decisions concerning yourself or others. His heart is in the right place, even if his mind is slightly outdated,” she conceded gently.

“I know, Valetta,” I insisted, sighing and running a hand through my hair. “I’m not trying to hurt him, but I need someone who isn’t just going to lecture me.”

“And Nick’s heart is in the right place, as well,” she continued, ignoring my outcry. “He wants to support you, not just be around you. Very noble of him.”

“Valetta, stop!” I threw my hands down on either side of me. “It’s not helping. I don’t want to hurt Nick either, but I don’t know what to do. Tell me,” I pleaded. “Tell me what I’m supposed to do.”

“You already know what to do, Abriel. The air element is known for finding the best route to peace.”

“But I don’t even know how to figure that out; it’s not like there’s someone to tell me.”

“I have told you; you already know the answer,” she persisted, folding her hands in her lap. “Sometimes the best route is not the easiest or most convenient…and someone still ends up hurt.”

“That’s not helping,” I said softly, feeling more confused than ever. While she might have thought it was useful, it didn’t simplify the problem any and I was nearly out of time. I needed a solution, not a riddle.

Valetta sighed, shaking her head. “Stop thinking about Drei and how he might react, or Nick and how he might feel afterwards. Drei has always been a bit of a bully when it comes to his opinions, but he has a good heart. He will still respect you if you believe in your decision. As for Nick, he will care for you no matter the outcome. All that matters is what you think needs to happen for your sake.”

Suddenly, it was as though someone had removed a blindfold. Juggling the emotions of three people was impossible. Now I knew what I needed to do. It was simpler than I’d made it out to be—even if it did take her forever to just say it.

I wrapped my arms around her shoulders, a bittersweet happiness filling me. Someone was going to be hurt, but there was no way to avoid some pain. All I could hope to do was minimize it. (And maybe feel rather dumb for taking a week to accept that had been the answer all along.)

Elemental: Chapter Eight, Part 5

Nick and Drei argued daily now, sometimes twice. Most days Nick started it, especially when I wouldn’t answer the door and pretended not to hear his knock on my window in the morning. Then Drei pounded on the door a couple of times. I hid in my room, talking myself out of seeing either of them.

I avoided witnessing their arguments, and spent most of the week experimenting, hoping some clarity would be found in the ancient pastime.

Valetta stopped by after the first day, reassuring me she would keep the two from killing each other while I worked out for myself what was needed. She also left some old CDs and a disc player. Old as in music I’d listened to in middle school and had pretended I didn’t like by the time I reached high school.

Her gift became my first experiment. I knew the songs and, never having had the lungs to sing, maybe there was a way to fix that.

The first attempts were a mess of coughs and either not enough air or too much. As I found the right balance of input to match my output, the problem I had was concentrating. Often, just as I was reaching the climax, I would forget to pull more air into my lungs and my voice fizzled out, leaving a drowned moose sound hanging in the air. If anyone had been around to hear, I would have been humiliated and embarrassed.

By the third day of my break, I had mastered it. It surprised me I actually had a decent voice, but it wasn’t like I would be selling records the next week.

After the satisfaction had worn away, I was bored with singing. There was still a challenge in concentrating, but I found my peace to be temporary in that. The moment the song ended, every thought came rushing back. I was to the point that images would flash through my mind as I sang. It was no longer helping. If anything, it made me feel worse for procrastinating.

Abandoning singing, I recalled meditating when I was younger. My mother had insisted it was to aid me in balancing my life as it became busier. More than likely, she just wanted company when she was experimenting with new relaxation methods—like the time she thought it would be entertaining to try a contortionism class. That, by the way, landed her in a chiropractor’s office for two months.

Settling at the foot of my bed—legs crossed, muscles loose, eyes closed—I focused on a blank sheet of paper in my mind’s eye, just as I had been instructed to do years before. My breathing slowed, setting the backbeat for the sounds filling me.

How was I to know my element wouldn’t allow me to meditate?

The blank page was splashed with color and brief sketches of birds, squirrels, and children laughing. Everything flooded into my open mind. It didn’t bother me; it was rather refreshing. There is nothing like being filled with something other than yourself. It didn’t give me an answer, but it revived my will to find one. Unfortunately, Mother would never realize how much those meditation classes really worked.

The second to last night of my isolation, a small troupe of the children visited bearing gifts.

“We’re sorry, Abriel,” Danny, and Derek said when I opened the door.

“We brought you a gift,” Bethanie added as Michelle held forth an ice sculpture of a young woman cradling forget-me-nots. The roots of the flowers laced through her chest, curling into a heart-shape.

“Come in,” I said, surprised at the chill outside.

After settling on the wooden floor of the front room, the sculpture resting on a windowsill, I asked, “What are you sorry for?”

“Aren’t you mad at us?” Mikael responded.

“What would give you that crazy idea?”

“Well you aren’t around anymore,” Xenia added, glancing briefly up at me.

“I’m not mad at you guys,” I insisted.

“Is it Nick?” Bethanie questioned eagerly.

“Or Drei?” Kora added, eyes wide in curiosity.

I was silent a moment. It wasn’t really their fault; it was mine. “No,” I replied. “I just needed some time off.” When Jake looked to ask another question, I added, “Have I missed anything interesting?”

Kora rolled her eyes. “Only Michelle making gaga eyes at Mitchell.”

“Am not!”

“Is that why you’re always showing off super hard when he comes by?” Mikael questioned. Michelle’s cheeks flamed.

“Anthony and Amy almost got caught playing a prank on Nick yesterday,” Derek offered quickly.

Danny added, “Yeah, they were going to make him slip from the lunch station down the hill into a mud puddle and he almost saw them setting it up.”

“Yeah,” Xenia said, “Valetta practically bore holes in them. I’m not sure Nick would have noticed though.”

“He has been really distracted lately,” Bethanie said and all of their smiles began to fade. “He’s not as much fun anymore. And he’s being a stupid jerk whenever Drei comes around.”

“Ugh, you’re telling me,” Michelle huffed. “I used to think he was kind of cute until he became little Mr. Fireball all the time.”

Derek said, “He has been rather stupid about the whole thing.”

“Both of them have been,” Danny amended.

Mikael said, “To be fair, I think taking on a vampire when you’re just a normal person is the more foolhardy.”

“Well I’ll be back in a couple of days,” I said, hoping to lighten the mood again. I hadn’t intended for them to suffer for my imprudence. “Then you can show me a new game.”

Jake, who had been quiet after I’d preempted his question, gave me a skeptical look but didn’t say anything; the others jumped excitedly, promising they’d have a really great game by then. As they walked away from my cabin, Jake turned back. It was strange how subdued he was compared to the others. For a moment, I feared he would return to my door with some other question to which I didn’t have an answer. Then he caught back up with the others, smiling and nodding as they discussed what new game they might create.

Elemental: Chapter Eight, Part 4

How could everyone be happy? Like we used to be? Drei would be overwhelmed if Nick left this minute. He’d behave as though Nick had never been here; but then Nick and I would be depressed. There was something about Nick I needed, and was it so wrong to feel needed in return? If I left with him, would Drei still be happy? Would I be at peace? Or would missing Drei overshadow any hope at serenity?

The scenarios played through my mind, each ending with someone hurt. It didn’t seem there was a way to keep everyone happy. Though I needed to decide something, I didn’t know how to make it up to Drei or Nick, or even make myself feel better.

Late in the afternoon, while Nick was playing kickball with the children, I watched Drei call him aside. Curious, I brought their conversation to me, my heart breaking even more.

“Where is Abriel?” Drei demanded, his voice low and violent.

“She’s taking some time off,” Nick responded carefully, not giving in to his fear of Drei, but not fighting…yet. “She needs time to think or something.”

“What did you do?” I watched him grab Nick’s shirt with one hand and shake him threateningly.

“What did I do? What about you?”

“Do not speak to me that way!” Drei growled, lifting Nick off the ground. Nick grabbed Drei’s wrist to support himself. “This is your fault; if you had never come she would have been perfectly fine.”

“Since I came she’s had someone who’s there for her, unlike the way you were treating her.”

Just as Drei wound up a fist to pummel Nick, I forced them apart, a blanket of air catching Nick before he hit the ground and Drei before he lost his balance. Both of them looked around as if expecting to see me; when they didn’t, they went off on each other again, this time keeping their distance.

Their argument made me resolve to figure out something, anything. Continuing on like this would ruin the entire camp, and over something as little as with whom I wanted to spend time. I couldn’t let that happen and be my fault; I didn’t want to destroy everything.

But I couldn’t stop anything if I was unable to decide on a course of action.

Elemental: Chapter Eight, Part 3

Nick knocked on my cabin door the next morning. I didn’t blame him; I had stayed cocooned in my blankets, avoiding breakfast and everyone else. Though I looked a mess in my old sweatpants and university tee, I found I didn’t care. Last night was wrong on so many levels. Drei shouldn’t have found out that way, Nick shouldn’t have had to face him alone, and I should have seen it coming.

“You missed breakfast,” Nick said gingerly, smiling as he offered me an apple.

“I wasn’t hungry,” I replied softly, leaning against the door jam, turning the apple over in my fingers.

“Are you okay?” His brow furrowed a little and his green eyes scanned mine, searching for clues.

Sighing, I said what I knew I had to say: “I need time to myself.”

His gaze downcast, he asked, “Is this about last night?”

“This is about me.” I realized how selfish I sounded and winced internally. “I’m taking the week to myself.” Before he protested, I pushed off from the door frame and turned away, adding, “You promised if I went with you, you’d babysit a week without me.”

“But—”

“I need to do this, Nick,” I asserted, struggling not to fall into his arms, kiss, or even face him. I knew the minute I faced those jade gems I would be lost in the moment again, and I couldn’t be careless anymore. People always seemed to be hurt when I didn’t think through my choices. “If you care about me at all, you’ll let me.”

After he left in his cloud of doubt and confusion, I went to my room and settled into the rocking chair, a knee pulled to my chest. Tears rolled down my cheeks and my throat constricted. Why did it always seem to require pain and destruction before I considered the impact of my actions?

Elemental: Chapter Eight, Part 2

I jumped away from Nick, instantly recognizing the voice. I could have sworn my heart stopped two beats too long. Moving was probably my greatest mistake; Drei went straight for Nick.

“You have no right to be here,” Drei said, his voice deep and sending tremors through my skin.

Nick was shaking, but his jaw was set in defiance. “I have just as much right to be here as you do;” he held Drei’s harsh gaze steadily.

“Not with her;” Drei’s hand jerked in my direction.

“She likes to be here with me.” Nick stood, falling just short of Drei’s height. I felt horrible he was in such a position, but even worse they were fighting. My two favorite people in the world—so similar, and so different—were fighting because of me. “Which makes sense since I don’t go around bullying everyone and scaring the kids shitless,” Nick continued, his green eyes seeming to darken.

“I at least know better than to take advantage of a girl,” Drei growled. “You have no idea what she has been through. You are both poor judges of what is right for her.”

My sense of injustice had stirred and overcome my fear of Drei’s anger; Nick wasn’t some mindless hooligan. But Nick jumped in before I could.

“From the sound of it, you don’t know her at all.”

“I know her better than you,” Drei countered; something in the way he held himself changed, as though he became taller and more hunched; he emitted a threatening hiss, advancing on Nick. I didn’t know what to do, let alone how to help; I couldn’t even comprehend what was happening.

Nick backed away from Drei, his eyes wide in horror. When they had circled around, Nick took off running just as Drei lunged for him. The leaves and flowers jostled noisily in their sleep, protesting at being disturbed in such a manner.

Seeing Nick chased off like a lout awoke such a vivid passion I couldn’t see for a moment. Whatever was happening, it wasn't right.

“What was that?” I demanded, standing and rising to my full five feet six inches.

“It is for your own protection,” he whispered, turning quickly away from me.

“Don’t you dare;” I spun him around, adrenaline pumping through my veins so quickly I feared if I stopped I’d fall down. “Why don’t you want me to be happy?”

“You do not know what will make you happy. As I said, you are not capable of judging such things currently.”

“You don’t know that!” The night replayed in my mind from the peaceful chatter to the abrupt interruption and ensuing madness.

“What would make you happy, Abriel?” he asked, quickly adding, “Besides Nick.”

For a moment I wanted to say Drei, but immediately felt guilty. Valetta had been kind to me the last month or so; she was really making an effort to be friendly. She knew about Nick, though I never admitted anything; and I knew about Drei, though she kept equally quiet.

Being forced to think allowed the anger to blow over. I felt exhausted and weak in the knees, but he wouldn’t have the satisfaction of my needing him now.

“You should just be happy for me,” I said softly, feeling tears close at hand. “Nothing I do will ever be enough to repay you for what you've done for me, but that doesn't give you the right to make my decisions. I will not give him up just because you don’t like him.”

Drei stiffened and in the next instant his face contorted, amplifying every crease in his frowning visage as he loomed over me, his fangs glinting in the moonlight. “You will not see him,” he seethed, but I wasn’t afraid after the initial shock of the change; I had almost forgotten he was a vampire, but now the truth was before me and I couldn’t imagine ever choosing him over Nick; Nick wouldn’t try scaring me into submission, let alone threaten me.

“If you want me to be happy,” I stated calmly, turning away from him, “leave me alone.”

I felt the air thicken in his disappointment, whether it was directed at himself or me, I couldn’t be sure, but I wasn’t sticking around to find out.

Elemental: Chapter Eight, Part 1

Chapter Eight: Waiting for Peace

The garden was our date locale most nights. During the day, we’d sit together talking about random things or join in the games. The children accepted Nick because I did, but they were wary of him, as if his skin or breath were poisonous. I had asked why, one day, and they all pretended to know nothing about it.

Some nights we sat and shared the past, his arms curled around me to protect from the cool weather. Other nights, our chatter was dispersed between kisses and laughter over funny faces and even more amusing jokes. I didn’t know what you could call what we had. For me, I wasn’t sure if I would call it love; but it was such an extreme affection, I knew he wasn’t just a friend I regularly kissed. Nick never said what it was for him; the look in his eyes before he kissed me, the crooked curve of his lips when we were together during the day, or the way he’d hold my hand said it all.

I warred with myself whether it was fair to Nick that I didn’t know how I felt about him. When I was with him, none of it seemed to matter. Perhaps it was my power or some other force I wasn’t aware of that caused me to feel as though he was part of me, and I was part of him. That every time our lips touched or his hand slipped into mine, we were melding together.

The month passed as such—a not-so-secret relationship and a series of private meetings. When Drei happened to be around while we were playing games, I couldn’t help but notice he always glared at Nick. I had a sinking feeling that the thought of us together was more dangerous than bounty hunters. At least in the case of Drei. Perhaps that had some impact on my uncertainty.

One night, I sat in Nick’s embrace, my arms crossed loosely and resting lightly on his. My head lay on his shoulder, my eyes closed as he spoke to me. Not because I was tired, but just because his voice had a different quality that way.

“One day, Kit was running around with Kate’s doll, her favorite one,” he started, his voice excited as he launched into the tale. “Kit insisted it was hers and she should be able to play with it and the white jeep Mom had bought her for Christmas. Of course, Kate was crying when she came to me; our parents were at some company party my dad had to attend. When I yelled for Kit to bring the doll with her, she showed up sniveling and saying she was sorry. They were in preschool and I guess they hadn’t learned about sharing yet. She kept muttering apologies; Kate only plugged her ears and started yelling that she’d never forgive her again.”

“Oh dear. What did you do?” I had a feeling I knew what he would say already. It was really similar to another story I’d heard before.

“We sat down together, Kit still crying a little because she had been found out, Kate still stubbornly pouting, the picturesque victim. I asked Kate why she wouldn’t accept the apology, and she insisted that it wasn’t sincere. So Kit started crying full out again until I stopped her and told her Kate didn’t mean it. Kate complained I was lying, but I asked if she loved Kit, and she stopped. Then she apologized for being stubborn and mean. Kit hugged Kate, telling her she was sorry.

“That night when my parents returned, they found I’d been cornered into playing dolls with them to keep the peace—which unfortunately also involved playing dress up,” he finished, a blush in his voice as I laughed. “It never happened again. Dressing up, that is.”

“It’s still funny,” I insisted, turning to look at him, less mystified by his ending.

He smiled down at me, that special curve to his lips; “Have I told you you’re beautiful?”

“Never.” I smiled and waited for what came next.

“Well you are,” he replied, leaning in to kiss me.

“What are you doing here?” a vicious voice snarled from a few feet away.

Elemental: Chapter Seven, Part 5

I had left after the other lights flickered out in the cabins, not wanting to explain what I was doing or why. That’s spontaneity for you, never a rhyme or reason, but it always feels so right in the moment. It was the moment after the action you had to watch out for.

Nick called out when he arrived in the chaotically tranquil garden. I sat up from the patch of grass where I had been stargazing, supposing he had waited for Mikael to fall asleep before chancing to leave.

“What are you doing?” he questioned, lying beside me.

“Aren’t the stars beautiful?” The black and white of the sky was bordered by curious leaves; they were either questioning what was going to happen, or what the heavens looked like close up. I doubted it would look more lovely than it did now.

“My dad used to teach me to read constellations, but I never really took an interest.” He shrugged beside me, his arm brushing against mine, surprisingly warm. Or perhaps I just hadn’t realized how chilly it was.

“My dad and I never did anything over our last several years together; he was busy working and staying away from my mother.”

“What are you thinking about?” Nick inquired, shifting to his side, rushing past my sorry statement. He didn’t change the subject in a way that suggested he was disinterested, but in a way so as to lighten the mood. The jade eyes burned into me and I again felt he could see past the skin and bones to something more. It frightened me. Mostly because I couldn’t be sure what he saw.

“Everything,” I said instead of talking about how much this smell reminded me of Drei and all the circumstances in which I’d inhaled it. “Anything.” I avoided admitting I missed Drei, even if I was the one pushing him away. “And nothing.” I shoved away the confession that, as much as I liked him, I wished he was Drei.

“That’s quite a boat load,” he replied.

I didn’t say anything, just rolled onto my side to face him, going over again how he was different from Drei, and what it was about Nick I liked. What it was that made him mysterious and easygoing.

“You’re beautiful,” Nick said, his shaggy hair pushed up by his palm.

Before I could think of a response, his lips were on mine and I felt alive. Not like breathing alive. I was fully aware of everything around us: the whistling breeze, the flowers sighing in sleep, the stars twinkling in an undecipherable code…everything.

My heart raced and my brain tried to find something to ground me. I pushed him away, just so our noses barely touched.

“This isn’t going anywhere,” I warned, praying he’d understand what my lack of words seemed to say in my own mind.

“I wouldn’t dream of taking it anywhere,” he whispered before his lips found mine, and the breathless feeling of life—real life—filled me again.

In that moment, I forgot about my feelings for Drei. All thoughts ceased to pass through my mind except for one: now I knew what the leaves had been waiting for.

Elemental: Chapter Seven, Part 4

Nick disappeared for a couple of days. He hadn’t left the camp because he was always there for breakfast and supper; he just wasn’t around the rest of the day. When I asked one night where he was running off to, he replied it was a secret. And, of course, I was too stubborn to admit I missed his company or to provide any decent answer as to why he should cease running off. I wanted to tell him to stop going away and just talk with me, like we had been doing, or join in the game du jour. But my lips refused to emit words.

The fourth day into his disappearing act, Nick scared me half to death, sneaking up behind me and shouting, “Boo,” in my ear. He fell over laughing, his hair mussed and a grass stain on the knee of his jeans.

“Don’t do that again,” I commanded, a hand still covering my poor heart, my pulse slowly returning to normal.

Nick sat up, laughter still playing behind his eyes; “Sorry, I just couldn’t resist.”

A few of the children were watching us, expecting some kind of trouble that distracted them from the game.

“You’re back early today,” I stated, trying not to be angry with him still.

He waved a hand dismissively at Mikael, Kora, Derek, and Xenia, who had begun the climb towards us. Nick smiled as extra assurance that everything was well, and they ran to join back in the chaos of a game I didn’t know the rules for.

“I want you to come with me,” he said in response to my earlier statement. “You’ll love what I’ve found.”

“Not today,” I replied, indicating with a tilt of my head the reason before us. “I don’t abandon responsibility for just anything.”

“It isn’t just anything;” he smirked secretively. From behind his ear he pulled a small blossom of lilac. “I don’t have the fancy tricks of flying flowers or anything,” he admitted, taking one of my hands and setting the bloom in my palm, “but there’s more where that came from if you come with me.”

“Not today.” I was intrigued by the lilac, though. Part of me wanted to go, but I was still holding out against him.

Our conversation repeated in a similar fashion over the next week. Different blooms were pushed into my palm with a plea to join him, that the children were fine without me. But I declined, later to add the bloom to a bowl of water in my room, the petals floating elegantly as they slowly wilted.

The eighth day he asked, I agreed.

“I’ll go if you watch over them for a week; I might need a break.” Being in charge of watching over them wasn’t eventful, but it was like watching a TV show or something. Interesting and mind numbing in the same instant. It didn’t require much work except for the occasional accident or conflict, and even those were few and far between because the older children were handling most of it lately.

 Nick pulled me to my feet, a puppy that finally receives his walk.

He never let go of my hand, half-pulling me along a path and through trees where the way wasn’t marked. It didn’t slow him, as though he saw landmarks I failed to see. When the trees thickened he treaded more carefully, pulling branches and tall grasses out of the way for me.

“You’ll love it,” he said, and I knew then exactly what we were coming up to. The flowers had been a hint, but the scent that hit me was undeniably familiar: the same blend of essences that seemed to follow Drei everywhere.

Though I was expecting something spectacular, I was nowhere near prepared for what I saw as we cleared the trees. The colors, the disorganization, the heavenly scent and sheer mass of flowers caused me to lose my breath. It was stunning, and, strange as it was, seemed to give me a sense of peace.

“I knew you’d love it,” Nick replied to my poorly hidden gaping jaw and wide eyes.

“It’s gorgeous,” I managed in a choked whisper.

He took my hand again, leading me carefully through the flowers so I could see which I recognized—mostly the common ones: lilacs, violets, bluebells—and touch those I didn’t. There were paths laced through the field, little more than the width of my foot. In the center was a grassy area, soft and lush, where Nick and I sat for a moment.

“How?”

“I was exploring those days I wasn’t around. And I just happened across here and knew you’d love it.”

“Is the path marked?”

“To here? Of course. Subtly, though. I haven’t figured out all of the symbols, but if you pretty much go in where we did and go straight, you’ll smell the flowers when you’re close.”

“So who marked it?”

Nick shrugged. “Does it matter?”

I shook my head, feeling warm in the sunlit area. It felt like summer here with the trees trapping heat and the flowers in full bloom, staring at us, wondering what would happen.

“We have to get back for dinner,” I said suddenly, not meeting Nick’s eyes, afraid I wouldn’t have the courage to leave them.

I stood up, dusting off my pants, and Nick led me back through the woods, a satisfied smile on his lips the entire way. It wasn’t until I noticed how much I looked at him, or how easily we made each other smile, or any number of other things we shared, I knew what I wanted to do next.

“Meet me there tonight?” I inquired, knowing how it must sound to him, hoping he didn’t take it the wrong way.

He stopped mid-step and faced me. “Really?” The time I hadn’t kissed him ran through his mind, a caution I might be stringing him along again.

“We can spend time together there, and don’t have to worry about anything else.”

“Or anyone else,” he added, expressing his own thoughts. I knew he meant Drei.

Though Drei hadn’t been around much, he disliked Nick and disapproved of my spending time with him—Valetta’s words, not mine. While his fears were rational, I wasn’t too worried and I hoped he would stop worrying as much as I knew he was.

“So?” I pressed, needing a definite answer. No way was I sitting around all night for someone who wasn’t coming. Then again, I would have deserved it. At least the first time, anyway.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he replied, grinning crookedly.

Elemental: Chapter Seven, Part 3

I wanted to turn the topic away from the serious discussion questions, afraid it might lead to something I wasn’t willing to admit; say, special feelings for a special someone who was already with another unnamed person. “What’s your favorite color?”

We changed the game to favorites for a long time. Nick loved the color green, he obsessed about Italian manufactured cars, and wanted to go to Europe someday. He hated school, could never master any instrument past three notes, and indulged frequently in the golden oldies that give you that feel-good bubble of happiness in your chest—his words, not mine.

My favorite color, as he learned, was pastel blue, I wanted to live in France someday, and had a fascination with stuffed bears (my massive collection left behind). My dislikes included liars, shopping, and the meaningless jewelry lessons my mother had forced me through. We went on to cover numerous other topics, usually playing off of each other for the next question. Favorites lasted a good hour or so, surprisingly enough.

“How many girlfriends have you had?” I inquired, pulling out of our “favorites” category.

“Two,” he replied easily. “I went out with one for a week before she dumped me for her ex, and the other I went out with for three months before she said I needed to marry her or leave her. We were 16, so I told her she was insane and left. She’s getting married in June to the guy she dated after me.”

“At least one of you found a happy ending,” I remarked before I could stop myself.

“Well, no one ever said I wouldn’t find mine.” His jade eyes held mine for a moment and sent a shiver down my spine. Why did he affect me this way? That was my biggest question, especially when I still barely knew him, despite our game. “What about you?”

“No girlfriends for me,” I joked, relishing the wide-eyed look he gave me. “I’ve had three boyfriends,” I continued, still smiling as his face returned to its interested but distant listening state. “One was because Sara broke up with him and he was such a mess she told him I’d go out with him; so I did, for a month before he got over her. Then there was the bad boy at lunch that no one liked and I ended up completely smitten over. Total disaster; it lasted two weeks before he admitted he had only been with me because he wanted to be with Emily but had lost interest, and therefore lost what grain of interest he had in me. He wasn’t the first I had experienced something like that with, but he was the only one with that intention I actually dated.

“Then there was Richie, who broke up with two of my friends at the same time and then asked me out. We dated about three months. He was a drunk and thought I would do anything he asked, so I left him, and never looked back.” I decided at the last minute not to tell him the exact circumstances. It wasn’t his business really. Well, it might have been but I wasn’t going to let it be. Not yet at least.

“Definitely more interesting than my story of the exes.”

“I think you beat me with the marriage one, though,” I said, pressing my lips together and grinning as I nodded my head slightly. “First date kiss?”

“Only if both of us agree it’s the right time,” he replied without missing a beat.

“How many times has that happened?”

“Never.”

“Thought so;” I couldn’t help smirking at his deflated, theatrical pout.

“What about you, Miss Experience?” His eyes were gleaming and the crooked grin returned.

“If the timing and the person are right,” I answered, fully realizing how cheesy it sounded.

“And has that happened?”

“How often do you find the right person?” I countered, leveling my gaze with his.

“Once in a lifetime according to every poet in the known universe.”

“Exactly.”

He pouted his lips, and I took my turn. “Were you a good person?”

“Am I or was I?”

“Were you?”

“Not always. I screwed up a lot,” he responded, gazing ahead at the mess of tripping children, new cacti and puddles of mud. There was a hesitancy to his voice, as though he was ashamed of himself. “I enjoyed pulling pranks and ‘hacks,’ if you will. Nothing too serious. All for kicks and giggles; I wasn’t caught until last year…but not by whom one might think.”

The way he finished speaking made it very clear he was done. I understood, since there were things about my past (and my present) I didn’t want to bring up any more than I had to. But I couldn’t help but wonder what his secrets were like. How bad were they? Were they anything like mine? Better? Worse?

“What about you? Were you a good person?”

I didn’t answer; I knew I hadn’t been; I had been shallow and careless and concerned more with not falling off the top of the pyramid. I made a lot of decisions I never wanted to remember. And Nick didn’t need to know any of that. No, that wasn’t right. I didn’t want him to know any of that; I didn’t want to think how knowing those things would change the way he looked at me.

“So…I guess not a good question to ask.”

I wanted to say, “No duh,” but couldn’t bring myself to pull out of my upright fetal position. I had asked it first, after all; I should have realized it would come right back to me.

“If you could do anything right now, anything in the world, what would you do?” he asked instead.

“I would be honest with everyone I’ve ever known,” I replied, the words just falling from my lips.  A voice in my head screamed, demanding to know what I was doing. But I went on, feeling guilty he was so willing to be honest when I just wanted to hide things from him. “I keep so much to myself, and sometimes I just wish I wasn’t so afraid to tell it straight, to everyone who deserved it. You know?”

Nick didn’t disappoint when I glanced at him, searching for reassurance I wasn’t mad. “I feel the same way sometimes.”

Neither of us said anything, and the silence between us echoed with the giddy screams and laughter below.

“What would you do?” I asked after a moment, needing to break the quiet.

“That’s too easy;” he smiled crookedly. “Kiss you.”

The thought tripped through my mind and I couldn’t decide if I wanted to kiss him or not. So I did what I did best, pretend. Leaning in, as if granting his wish, Nick followed suit. I almost felt cruel when my lips stopped a breath away from his and announced, “Try again.”

I stood and walked down the slope, calling the children to clean up before lunch. They groaned and obligingly agreed, but their disappointment was nowhere near equal to that of Nick. He was confused and grudgingly realizing what had happened.

My mind hoped he realized he wasn’t as desirable as he thought himself to be, while my heart chided he was more than I might be able to handle.

Elemental: Chapter Seven, Part 2

 “Like 20 questions?”

“Not really. The object is just asking questions. Each person gets one question per turn. No winner, no rules, you don’t even have to tell the truth; but…it’d be nice if you would;” his jade gems were serious and piercing.

“I’m game;” I smiled, interested in how this would turn out and hoping he would lighten up again. I liked it when he wasn’t so serious; it kept me from being too serious. “You start.”

He leaned back on his hands, his lips scrunched to the side in thought. “Why are you here?”

I thought a moment, judging just how much to tell him. Drei had warned to be careful, and thus far we had all limited how much we tapped into our power, causing him to believe most of it was mere coincidence. What he didn’t think was coincidence, we worked to convince him he imagined. It had become quite a game with the kids; it was rather entertaining hearing the stories and conspiracy theories they developed and built upon until we had forgotten what had started it all.

“Because I can do this,” I said after a moment, picking a flower resembling a fairy hat from beside me, using the air to lift it from my fingers and presenting it to Nick.

He plucked the blossom from the air saying, “Nice parlor trick.”

“Not so much a trick.” I didn’t really want to explain. Showing him was one thing; actually telling him outright was quite another. “My turn, right?”

Nick nodded, inspecting the flower for wires or something, trying to make it levitate as I had moments before, only to watch it fall to the grass repeatedly.

“What was your life like before?”

“Before the fire?” he clarified. At my nod, he continued slowly; “Well, we were happy. Kit and Kate had just started second grade and were ecstatic, finally allowed to buy non-matching clothing sets. My mom had insisted until then that twins were safer dressed alike. Really, she just thought they were cute dressed the same. Dad had been promoted and was talking about moving, which of course led to arguments with my mom; she insisted we stay and not uproot our lives because he wanted to. He was threatening to leave and just send money back, which she said was irrational and that we needed him. And then they’d jump straight to making up;” his cheeks flamed as though he had stumbled across this once and regretted it since.

“I used the instability of their relationship to stay out late. I never did anything I might later regret, but being around people who did somehow made me feel less cowardly. The first time I misjudged the night’s events and showed up late to be caught, they ripped me a new one, then apologized for stunting my growth and just asked if I would stay away from those guys. Course I didn’t…and now I kind of wish I had. Who knows, maybe they still would have been around.”

“I thought you said you were happy?”

“Kit and Kate were, I was, and Dad was; Mom just didn’t want to move, otherwise she was thrilled for Dad and the rest of us.”

“You really miss them,” I stated, thinking about my dad at home, wondering for the first time how he was holding up.

“What was your life like?”

“Before coming here?”

“Well, it is a reciprocal question.” I laughed as he wiggled his eyebrows. The first time he had done that, I tried and he fell over laughing so hard, I couldn’t help but laugh. I could tell from the look in his eyes he was thinking of the same thing.

“Superficial,” I started, forcing myself to look at what my life had really been like. “My dad worked all the time, I never knew my mom, and my mother was in constant denial of there ever being someone else. I was an only child, left to my own devices—one of which was a credit card with a limit I never reached. I had friends who were more like snakes with pearly smiles, but it was better to be on their side than to be against them. And then Drei saved me.”

He waited a moment longer, as though expecting more explanation, but I wasn’t going into the details of why or how he saved me. Nick needed to know that as much as he needed to know why I was here.

When the tension in his relaxed position returned, I knew he was ready for me to ask him another question. “What were you thinking that night, when they were talking about making you leave?”

Nick shrugged and looked out past the kids to the lake.

“Really,” I insisted, resting a hand lightly on his knee. I had been so concerned with everyone else in the room, I didn’t know, and I kind of wanted to.

“Well,” he drawled, as if still thinking. “At first I was just preparing myself for it. Trying to convince myself that it was nothing and at least I had met you, and I was feeling better. I had kind of expected it,” he admitted, “but just the mental preparedness of myself was lacking. But then you argued for me, and I couldn’t believe it. You barely knew me and yet you were fighting for me against one of the most frightening guys I’ve ever met. And I couldn’t stop thinking about how amazing and brave that was.” He didn’t shrug, as I had expected him to, to lighten the weight of his words. Though I had looked away to hide my flaming cheeks, I knew he was staring at me with those piercing eyes, trying to measure my response.

“What were you thinking?” he questioned after a moment.

I didn’t respond right away because I didn’t know how. The night was a blur; I couldn’t even remember what Drei had said really, let alone what I was thinking.

“I don’t think I was,” I began slowly. “I just remember that I knew it was unfair and at one point that I was ready to leave if Drei wanted me to. What he was doing wasn’t right, and it made me—it made me so angry.”

Nick nodded, like he knew this already and just wanted the confirmation. “Your turn.”

Elemental: Chapter Seven, Part 1

Chapter Seven: The Trees Have Eyes

Part of me felt useless with the children alternating their games to match the warming spring weather, trusting each other to be creative in altering them or creating new ones. There was still the occasional need to resolve a problem or patch up a scraped knee, but they were considerably more independent now. Not to mention much friendlier towards each other from when I’d first arrived.

Nick kept me entertained, a distraction from my former pastime. He would spin fanciful encounters of foreign lands and unconquered mountains crushing him in defeat. I couldn’t be certain what was true, but it was refreshing to laugh again, even if it was only because of faux chivalry.

One particular afternoon, we were lying side by side on the springy new grass, a color to rival Nick’s eyes. The children were running around playing a version of tag that would have had complaints of cheaters had any other group of children been involved. Michelle, Jake, Danny, and Kora judged what was fair and unfair according to the regulations I had set up in the winter. Of course, they had modified it so Nick would be more likely to believe all the tripping and mud slicks were not entirely out of the ordinary.

“What are you thinking about?” Nick questioned quietly. I felt his eyes on me as I followed a puff of cloud passing overhead, pondering briefly what would happen if I tried to change its path.

“Nothing really,” I said, for an instant believing I had seen something in the folds of fluff. Why did unrealistic things jump out at me when my mind was elsewhere? I guessed it happened to everyone, but it seemed so strange that it happened to me, even after I had spent so long practically ignoring things like clouds unless it rained.

“Want to do anything?”

“I don’t know,” I replied, tearing my eyes from the cloud and whatever it was or wasn’t hiding. “You?”

“Well,” he began, an uncharacteristic hesitancy to his voice. In the two weeks he had been here, he hadn’t been hesitant about anything, not even flirting with Lily to obtain some posters for his room. “I want to get to know you.”

Instead of saying anything, I tossed his statement around in my mind a while, wondering if I was willing to let him know me. I was somewhat tempted to laugh, even. No one had ever said they wanted to know me. Most people had just assumed who I was and I had felt compelled to fit that image. I learned to be really good at it, too, which was perhaps the saddest part.

“How?” I sat up to face him.

He followed suit. “Ever play questions?”

Elemental: Chapter Six, Part 6

That night, Nick slept in my bed and I stayed curled in the rocking chair. Though Drei didn’t return, I managed to find sleep without him. My dreams weren’t the best, but it was an improvement on my former state. As strange as it was, I found the lack of his scent didn’t bother me this time, almost as if I had maxed out on my nightly interest in it.

I woke early again, knowing my duties were would not be dismissed a second day and the children would be running around in no time.

Valetta stood in the doorway, leaning elegantly against the frame. That’s when I noticed Nick wasn’t there. The covers had been pulled neatly across the mattress, the pillows fluffed and stacked, my blanket folded across the foot. There wasn’t any indication he had been there.

“Where is he?” I demanded, jumping to my feet and halfway across the room. I felt betrayed, certain she had removed him when I’d let my guard down believing she had been on my side the previous night.

“Calm down,” she said gently, unmoving.

“What did you do?” I tried to withhold my anger since she was so calm but I wouldn’t exactly call it contained.

Valetta stepped forward, radiating composure. “Lily and I asked Mitchell to move him to another cabin. It is not entirely appropriate for both of you to share.”

“Wish you would have said something sooner,” I mumbled, feeling small for jumping to conclusions. At least he was still here.

“You were still asleep when he woke. I volunteered to explain it to you.”

“Why?” I asked. Was she planning something? Aside from last night, she hadn’t treated me very well.

Valetta sat on my tidy bed, turning to me, motioning I should sit as well. “I regret my behavior towards you upon arrival. It was disrespectful, and I should have given you a chance,” she said quickly, holding my gaze.

I looked down, not really understanding what she was doing, or why. “What changed?”

“You proved me wrong,” she said, as if it had been that simple all along. “I had perceived you as selfish and not much more grateful than the brats—sorry, children,” she corrected automatically. “Last night, though…that was impressive.” A slight smile crossed her features. “No one stands up to Drei. He is the leader; that is a universal truth for us. He is not wrong, though we sometimes disagree with his decisions; he always thinks of how it will affect us all, not just a few…or even one.” She smirked at me, though I could have been imagining it. Valetta didn’t seem the type to smirk. Part of me wondered if I had woken up in an alternate reality, or if I’d truly woken up at all.

I decided my mind was playing tricks on me and considered her words. I could understand what she meant. It was like high school: the popular people were that way for a reason. Everyone else either fell in line or fell by the wayside. Yet, this was also different, because he didn’t seem the type to lead for the sake of leading.  

“It’s like he gives you a purpose outside of living for yourself. Something to aim for,” I said softly.

“Exactly.” Our gazes met and I realized we weren’t so different. Both of us understood wanting the control, not having it, and knowing there was greater safety amongst those who did.

“I admire you,” she went on, “because you were not afraid to face him.”

“Without your support, I would have lost,” I insisted, trying not to blush.

She smiled at me, different from how she smiled at Drei, but a genuine smile all the same. “I supported you because I knew you were right.”

“What is the deal with Martin, anyway?” I asked randomly, remembering his excessive butt kissing the previous night.

“Him?” She waved her hand dismissively, scoffing. “He will do anything to stay in Drei’s good graces. We all figure Drei will leave sometime and start a new camp elsewhere. Martin wants to earn control when he does.”

“And Mitchell?”

“He is a typical vampiric male. The only exception is that everyone likes him,” she admitted, smiling like any girl dishing a good bit of gossip. “What about Nick?”

“He’s…” I began before I realized I didn’t know what to say about him. “…different.” The word felt like the best fit. I didn’t know much about him yet, but I knew he was different from any other guy I had ever met.

She cocked her eyebrows. “Is that all?”

I shrugged, playing it down more than necessary. “Yes.” She didn’t say anything, as though expecting me to elaborate in the silence. Yes, we had bonded. Did I trust her? Not yet. I wasn’t convinced she was anything more than an acquaintance. So I wouldn’t tell her how much Nick staying meant to me, or how I felt he was safe and yet a mystery I wanted to solve.

“I’ve got to go,” I said instead. “The kids.”

“Oh,” she replied, shaking her head as if she had forgotten where we were. “Yes, of course.”

I smiled meekly, hoping she would forget to ask later, though, with my luck, I doubted it.

Outside, the children had already begun playing, except it was them against Nick in a game he must have thought up. It involved lots of mud and mini fortresses dotting the mud-ball field. From the looks of it, they had their fair share of casualties. I sat away from them, watching the onslaught as someone finally broke Nick’s defenses and nailed him with blob at close range. He split them up into separate groups and they continued on their own as he made his way toward me, plopping down in a sloshing mess.

“Hi;” his smile shone through the hardening muck.

I smiled back. “Hi. You’ve made quite the mess.”

“Of myself or everyone else?” he questioned jokingly.

“Both,” I replied, unable to help smiling more.

“That was the plan,” he insisted light-heartedly.

I laughed, thinking how strange he was. How completely unexpected he had been. “Don’t overexert yourself.” I was only slightly concerned so much activity would cause him some other injury.

“Don’t worry. I’m stronger than I look.” His smile was slightly crooked, causing me to question if he wasn’t maybe a little dangerous.

“You keep telling yourself that.” I said, looking away from him to the children at play below us.

“Sure thing,” he assured, smashing a mud-ball on my head.

I gasped from the cold and the shock of the thick goop dripping down my neck and over my ears, watching him laugh beside me. Pushing him over, he started rolling downwards as I sprinted to the muddy field below to pay him back, telling him as much. Even though I complained, for once, I was honestly enjoying myself.