Heed the Angel

“Look, don’t buy the body spray,” the blond-haired man said, taking the bottle from the youth’s hand and putting it back on the display shelf.  The scent in question was supposed to make one extremely attractive, and considering the boy’s problem with finding a date to senior prom, he was enticed.

“My mom said I could spend as much as I wanted on prom,” he argued, unsure why this man was telling him not to buy it, especially if he was supposed to be a sales associate.  Then again, he wasn’t dressed like an employee, so he was all the more suspicious.  “If I want to buy the frickin’ cologne, I’ll buy it.  Especially if it’ll get me a date to the prom.”

“Julian, it’s not a good idea, really.”

“How in the hell do you know my name?”  Then thinking about it, he decided he didn’t care to know. He just wanted the body spray, so he grabbed another bottle and started toward the registers.  “Just leave me alone.”

The man sighed and ran in front of Julian, taking the product from his hand and walking back to the display.  “Will you just listen for once?  Seriously. If I’d known you were going to be such a pain in my ass, I would have asked for the next babe that day.”

“What in the world are you talking about?” Julian, at this point, was slightly freaked out but more pissed off at having his intended purchase thwarted.

The man turned his clear blue eyes on him; he then smirked and tousled Julian’s auburn hair.  “I’ve been with you since before you were born, kid.”

Julian smacked the man’s hand from his hair, torn between intrigue and revulsion.  “I’ve never seen you before in my life.”

“Well someone’s not very observant.”

“Um…I think I’m just going to make my purchase and—”

“Die.”

“Excuse me?”

“Make your purchase and die,” the man repeated.  He crossed his arms and fixed his eyes on Julian’s.  “Look, kid, I’ve been with you since before you were born because I’m your guardian angel.  I’m probably breaking a million different rules and edicts and whatnot, but obviously you’re going to be difficult about this and since my job is to keep you living until your timely death, you haven’t left me with much choice.”

“What?  No, dude—I don’t—you know what, you need help.  That’s all there is to it.  You need some serious help.”  Reaching around the man, he grabbed another container of body spray and waved his other hand dismissively at him, scoffing.  “Angels.  Dude thinks I was born yesterday.”

The man blocked his path in an instant and said, “If you buy the cologne, the clerk is going to hit on you—”

“Perfect. Mostly chicks run the register so that could be my date to prom,” Julian said, lighting up and ideas for pick up lines running visibly behind his eyes.

“Will you listen?  You buy it, you get hit on, then you literally get hit on—by a car!”

“Crazy and dramatic.  You seriously need to go on some kind of medication, buddy. Thanks for the heads up about the chick.”  Julian walked past him, headed towards the registers, reading over the label of his soon to be purchase.

The man shook his head and carefully eyed the display.  Well, tomorrow he’d be up for reassignment.  He could pretty much guarantee that.

Wrapping his wings around him, his ordinary garb changed into his usual robes.  Staring a moment more at the display, he sighed.  He had done all he could do, hadn’t he?  He couldn’t help that his charge was thick-headed and single-minded.  Turning, he made his way invisibly to the front.

Sure enough, a panicked manager was on the phone calling for an ambulance as clerks and customers flocked to the window to see what had happened.  One in particular—a young, possibly college-aged male with long tresses—seemed especially distraught, informing a nearby coworker he had honestly thought the boy was cute and might be interested as mostly homosexual men bought that fragrance.  He hadn’t meant for him to be creeped out and run right in front of a speeding vehicle.

I warned him, the man thought, leaving the store and making his way to the site of the accident.  A man in black robes was prying Julian’s soul from the lifeless body.  Julian seemed to be giving him quite a time of things, not yet ready to let go.  But he didn’t have much of a choice with his brains leaking on the pavement.

“I tried to tell him,” the man said to the one in black.

“Yeah, I saw that,” he said, yanking on Julian’s hair and one of his arms now.  Julian’s soul was screaming and clinging desperately to his body, insisting there was a mistake and he still had to go to prom.  “Honestly, my bet was on him listening.”

“Loser had to collect?”

“Mhm.”

“That sucks.  You’ll be at this for a while it looks like.”

“Yeah, damn kid won’t give up.  Stubborn as hell.”

“Only child, lives with his mother.”

“That explains it;” the man in black dropped Julian for a moment, letting him cling to a dead corpse for a while.  “So what did you bet on?”

“That it would be a car…I was hoping for a Mercedes. Should’ve guessed it would be a truck.”  The man shook his head.  “Guess I get the brat due up for assignment tomorrow.”

“Another only child?”

“Oh, this one will be much worse.”

“Why’s that?”

“Her mom is a Kardashian.”