Tuesday, March 20, 2018

The Ballad of Dagmar Dinklenobs, Scene 6


(Lights go down on the scene. When they come back up, Ted and Edna are sitting in the living room, watching TV. Ted is flipping through the channels—only finding commercials—and trying to ignore Edna.)

Edna
I miss Dag—Big Daddy D, honey. I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. When I had him to take care of I wasn’t ever bored and now here we are watching TV together. We never watch TV together.

Ted
That’s because you always talk over everything.

Edna
I hope he’s getting enough sleep and eating well. I don’t think he ever got over sneaking snacks between meals—

Ted
Holy crap, Edna!

Edna
Ted, watch your language!

Ted
It’s Dagmar! On TV…he has his own damn commercial.

Edna
(Standing) Oh, my. This is so exciting. Turn it up, dear.

(Ted turns the volume up and they listen to the commercial advertising Dagmar’s new hit single and his upcoming tour. The sound of the ad is voiced by Dagmar and Simeon off-stage. Ad lib, ending with “available wherever music is sold.”)

Ted
I can’t believe it.

Edna
I told you to be supportive. And after all your complaining he’d never get a decent job. I bet he’ll take care of us from now on. Just watch, dear.

Ted
Edna, dear, you were right. I should have listened. (To self) Now I really wish I hadn’t disowned him.



(Lights. The end.)

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